Read Novel Full Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Why did it end up like this?
I’m sure you already know but, I am a child born between the Emperor and a mistress…….that is, a bastard.
Normally, I wouldn’t even be allowed to have any rights to succession to the throne.
But, making the Emperor disregard his own two queens and accepting all of his true love with her whole body, his favourite concubine………my mother, she made a wish to the Emperor.
To make me……….Rudolf, the fourth prince of the empire.
The reason was simple. If she were to lose the love of the Emperor, she would lose all support and was destined to be thrown away.
I was simply an insurance, to make sure that she could continue to live inside the imperial Palace.
Such lowly and crude were both her and my own blood, which is why no one would ever acknowledge me.
Anytime I passed someone, they’d look at me with scorn and disdain. All I’d be referred to as was [A lowly concubine’s child], [A failure born of seduction], nothing but malicious gossip.
Of course, even I understood that much.
I was not someone that should have ever been born.
Above all, after I was made the fourth prince, my mother the concubine began to act more haughtily and arrogantly inside the palace………no, she’s like that even now would be the right wording.
More arrogant and haughty than even two queens, as if she herself was the absolute power inside the Imperial Palace.
And so, the negativity among the people in the palace began to grow and were funnelled and targeted towards me. Resulting in their gossips and ugly gazes switching to harassment and bullying.
That said, even if rotten, I was still the fourth prince of the empire. They could only take their harassment so far.
That is, they began to completely ignore me.
No matter how many times I called them, people would never reply. When I tried to talk to anyone directly, they would turn their heads away. I was treated like I was nothing but air.
No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I worked hard, no matter how many good results I showed, no one would ever even look towards me.
Not even my own father, the Emperor nor my very own mother.
And so, I started doing things that would be impossible to ignore.
I started throwing things at them, intentionally dropping my food plate on the floor to make a mess.
But, even then, the servants continued to simply clean it up silently.
Such small things wouldn’t change anything.
In that case, I failed to understand what was the worth of me even staying alive so I tried to kill myself.
But……..I was unable to do even that.
I was so afraid of it. My hands and legs shivered, and tears wouldn’t stop coming out of my eyes.
And all I could do was mutter [I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die].
And then, I began to further question myself.
Why should I be this sad? Why should I suffer like this?
Who’s fault is this? Who’s the reason behind all this?
And thus sprouted within me, pure hatred.
And from that day on, I lost the meaning of the word moderation.
Until know I had been doing mischief to attract attention but, now I didn’t even need to think about the people around me, so I didn’t need to be considerate about them either.
If I didn’t like something, just lash out violently. And if I don’t like something, just blame it on everyone else around me.
What will happen then? The people who had pretended I didn’t even exist until now, suddenly the colour of their eyes changed.
Their scorn changed into fear and anger, and outright hatred.
But all it did, was make me happier.
After all, finally, people had started to look at me now.
Even my three elder brothers who didn’t even look me in the eyes even once, began to notice me.
…………well no, actually brother Robin would come and instigate me, call me [The Embarassment of the Empire] [Dirty rotten pig] even when everyone else ignored me, and would often curse and throw abuses at me to his heart’s content and would even order the servants to beat me up.
But that was the same as acknowledging my existence.
Even someone like me, who was lesser than air itself.
That’s why I was still happy. Everytime he showed up, I’d laugh right here in this garden.
I would be so happy, that my tears would continue to flow endlessly.
“………and that’s the story of my childhood.”
Looking at Lizbeth who continued to hear my tales silently, I joking said [How was it? Pretty amusing right?].
It’s been a while since I have thought of my past like this, so I really couldn’t help but laugh.
Because if I don’t laugh at it……….I might lose my mind.
And after all that.
“…………you are correct. Just as you said Prince Rudolf, it is indeed a ridiculous and stupid story.”
Lizbeth averted her eyes away from me, and muttered without changing her expression.
Hahaha……….Is she desperately trying to suppress her laughter right now?
I imagine when she returns to the Fahlcrantz house, she’d talk about it all to Wilhelm and then laugh together at it all.
After all, unlike myself who was of such a lowly, dirty bloodline, those two were high class nobles only second to the Imperial family itself.
To watch garbage dance was nothing if a funny comedy show.
Still upholding a self-deprecating smile, I put my hand inside my pocket and tightly gripped the gold coin that was always inside there.
That alone, was what kept my sanity in check.
“oh dear………I ended up chatting for far too long, my apologies for that. Allow me to escort you back to the entrance now.”
“………Yes.”
As I stood up and reached out my hand towards Lizbeth……….!?!
———*clink*
The gold coin from my pocket flew out and hit the marble tile.
“!!”
Instantly forgetting that Lizbeth was there, I leaped to quickly pick up the coin back again and quickly put it back inside my pocket.
Phew………I need to make extra sure to not let it fall like that from now on. If someone inside the palace……….worst case, if Robin found out about it, he would definitely try to take it away from me.
“Lord Rudolf, the coin you just dropped was……..”
“Nothing that concerns you.”
I spoke in a tone so low that I scared even myself. I turned my face away and took Lizbeth’s hand before escorting her back towards the entrance.
I imagine even Lizbeth realized that it was not a good idea to pry any further as she too remained completely silent on our way to the entrance.
“Lady Lizbeth, I thank you for joining me today.”
“Not at all,……..and goodbye.”
Lizbeth was still bowing in curtsey as the carriage door closed, and slowly began to trot away into the distance.
“fuu……..looks like this engagement will end in failure, I imagine…….”
While gazing at the carriage, I exhaled a deep sigh.
And yet.
“……………Why did it end up like this?”
The very next day, came a letter of acceptance from the Fahlcrantz house saying that Lizbeth had accepted the proposal to become my fiancée.
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