Read Novel Full Chapter 452 - The Path to Choose
Chapter 452 - The Path to Choose
……Did she notice partway through?
No——— that’s not it.
[Hijiri, you…… told her, didn’t you?]
She went and did something unnecessary.
But Hijiri, without any hint of guilt, looked straight ahead and answered.
[I’m sorry. I thought it would be better if I told her beforehand.]
[That is———]
You already knew, and had been keeping it from Sogou all this time.
Knowing of Oyamada’s death——— but was told to stay silent.
And now Sogou would find out.
“It should only be me lying and staying silent.”
Even though she was told so beforehand……
……Good grief.
Doing unnecessary things again.
Even though there was no need for her to become a villain unnecessarily too.
[I thought it would be better if Sogou-san had some time to sort out her feelings before meeting Mimori-kun. And besides……]
Hijiri looked over at Sogou……
[I thought Sogou-san would be okay now. I judged that if I talked to her after she regained consciousness…… it would be fine.]
I sighed.
[When it comes from none other than Takao Hijiri…… it’s hard to argue against that.]
Having been helped by her analytical skills during the Kirihara battle and the Vysis incident, I understood that.
[Mimori-kun.]
Sogou spoke.
But she was still looking down.
[I watched…… the video Yasu-kun addressed to me. You——— saved him. Even though you kept your identity hidden…… you saved Yasu-kun’s life. Or perhaps something even more important…… I had never seen that side of Yasu-kun before.]
Sogou let out a faint, powerless laugh.
[At first, I didn’t even know who it was and was a bit confused…… but…… I think people can change. The same goes with me———- even if just a little, I think I’ve changed too.]
Sogou raised her face and looked me squarely in the eyes.
[At first, when I learned Yasu-kun had died, I was really shocked…… truly. But the Yasu-kun in the video…… he looked so, how should I say…… content. Even though the wounds from the Sixth Cavalry were apparently still fresh…… even though he seemed to have accepted death…… I wondered, how can he be like that? So…… I felt it was wrong to deny the path he chose. Unn…… so, I really think——— Yasu-kun was saved. Being saved by you——— his heart was saved. Of course, I wish he had lived, so we could meet again…… but his———]
Sogou straightened her back as she sat.
[I didn’t want to deny the path Yasu-kun chose.]
[……I see.]
[Mimori-kun, I want to hear———– what happened that led to Oyamada-kun’s death.]
[———————]
So, the moment has come.
[First, I want to hear it…… I made assumptions on my own and caused trouble for everyone. Hijiri-san says it was due to Vysis’ skillful brainwashing, but…… that doesn’t erase the trouble I caused. I was just——— weak. I didn’t try to see what I didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to get hurt. I was…… just running away. And back then, I relied too much on Hijiri-san. I thought I was deciding things on my own———– but I was just going with the flow. Taking the easy way. It was me who was at fault.]
……I see.
This one——— certainly was different.
The current Sogou, something about her was different.
[Alright.]
I nodded.
[I’ll tell you how it came to be that I killed Oyamada.]
I told her the story.
The reason I didn’t have Seras present this time was part of this.
For her———- that was a time painful to recall.
Sogou listened quietly and seriously.
Not interrupting.
After hearing it, she took a moment to sort out her feelings.
Then——— she broke the silence.
[I see…… if I were in your position, thinking of killing him might not be unreasonable. Oyamada-kun———- how did he appear from your perspective?]
I answered immediately.
[He looked like nothing but a hopeless scum.]
Sogou dropped her gaze to her hands.
A few beats passed, then she began to speak.
[If it were me…… I would have wanted to hear a little from Oyamada-kun. Even if I were in the same position as you and had to act afterward. Of course…… I might not have had that luxury, and it might have left unnecessary risks. From your standpoint at the scene, one might think “What a leisurely thought”. Even so, I would have wanted to know the circumstances…… the reasons why Oyamada-kun became “that way”. I’d want to attempt to understand. I think I’m the type of person who cannot act until I am completely convinced within myself———- that the evil is truly beyond saving.]
“But you know”, Sogou continued.
[I will not deny your perspective either.]
[……I’ll ask anyway, is that really okay? I killed the classmate you were supposed to “protect”. If I had wanted to, I probably could have just restrained him instead.]
[That’s something you already described with a “probably”…… You can’t go back and change the past, and even before that…… I don’t have the right to accuse you here and now. After all…… I’ve killed people too. Or rather——— I may have committed killings that are even less forgivable than yours.]
[Sogou-san, that’s———–]
[It’s fine, Hijiri-san.]
Stopping Hijiri, who was about to say something, Sogou continued.
[When I joined the battle against the Mira Empire, I fought trying not to take lives as much as possible. But——— I couldn’t stop the “killings” happening around me. No…… maybe I should say I intentionally didn’t. By giving my allies an advantage in battle, they ended up killing more Mira soldiers. No——— maybe I just convinced myself I could hold back, but some of them might have died anyway…… no, they must have.]
Without averting her gaze, she turned to me.
[Mimori-kun, I’ve killed too. Or rather——– people who might have been good, even more so than Oyamada-kun.]
[……So you have no right to accuse me huh.]
[Yes. And…… Mimori-kun, you killed Oyamada-kun, but you also saved Yasu-kun’s life. In the end, he died…… but he was very grateful to Fly King Belzegia——— to you. Thanks to you, he said, he could “find” himself…… and his heart was saved. No, not just Yasu-kun. You’ve saved more people in this world than someone like me ever could.]
Sogou’s words.
They sound reasonable———-
And yet, they’re still a little tangled, not fully sorted out.
But……
[Mimori-kun has your path…… I have my own. Even if there are people who think differently…… even if there are people who live differently, we have no choice but to move forward. There’s no world where everything goes my way———- so I want to understand the other person…… at least make the effort to understand first…… then decide my own path. Even if I can’t understand them, even if the results don’t change…… I don’t want to jump to conclusions. I want to show the willingness to understand. Like this——— without looking away…… I want to talk properly once. And through that…… I want to see clearly, and make my judgment.]
She has changed.
Now it’s certain.
Something within Sogou Ayaka has changed.
Hijiri’s earlier words———- it now makes sense.
And yet, she hasn’t lost her “true self”.
[……Hmph.]
For example,
“Yeah, I think it was absolutely right that you killed Oyamada-kun!”
If she were to say something like that, claiming she’s completely reborn, and affirmed that I killed Oyamada in such a way———
That wouldn’t be “Sogou Ayaka”.
The current Sogou can see evil.
She’s trying to see it.
That’s why she could say she wants to “attempt understanding”.
She worries, struggles…… yet still doesn’t look away, and moves forward.
The path Sogou Ayaka has chosen now——— it seems to be that kind of path.
Like Yasu Tomohiro…… Sogou Ayaka is trying to choose.
Her own new path.
……Actually, there was something I had been thinking of consulting Hijiri about.
Still, with her like this now———–
Maybe it’s fine to just talk to Sogou herself here.
[About the repatriation…… yesterday, I asked Thesis and Loqierra a few things.]
Hijiri reacted.
[Is there a problem?]
[Not exactly a problem…… but when returning, the Heroes’ memories of time spent in this world would be erased.]
After a pause for thought, Hijiri spoke.
[……Is that so……]
“However……”, I continued.
[Apparently, by applying Vysis’s remaining research, there’s a way to return while retaining memories.]
[———–And that’s without any drawbacks?]
[It’s impossible for everyone…… or rather, the Deities themselves aren’t too keen on sending people back with their memories intact. First, the effects of keeping memories are unknown. And also…… it’s likely to interfere with daily life. I mean…… imagine an entire class of people sharing memories of a world different from their own——— there’s no way that wouldn’t cause problems.]
So, when returning, the memories of this world are erased.
When they come back, it might feel like they had amnesia……
Or maybe everything will be as if nothing happened———
Everything restored to the state before the summoning.
Though, how it actually turns out is unknown.
Of course.
The Deities can’t verify what it’s truly like after returning.
There’s no way to check.
Hijiri nodded.
[That’s true……]
Then, as if contemplating further……
[Maybe———- the origins of foreign-style fantasy fiction in our world…… are remnants of otherworld memories unconsciously retained by returnees summoned in the past. That would explain why people can create fictional worlds with a sense of reality…… Looking at it that way, it’s kind of interesting.]
Well…… that’s very much Takao Hijiri’s way of looking at things.
[Back to the main point…… even if they were to let someone return with memories intact, it has to be someone trustworthy. From Thesis and Loqierra’s perspective, it must be someone reliable.]
Hijiri poured Tonoa water from the pitcher on the table into her cup,
[So, if the person chosen is trustworthy and few in number, they can be sent back with memories intact? Someone like Zakurogi-sensei…… having memories of this world might make him a somewhat competent teacher. And———–]
She shifted her gaze from the cup to me.
[Why did you tell us this now?]
As sharp as ever.
[Actually…… I wanted to consult you, Hijiri, on whether Sogou’s memories should be retained.]
Sogou, who had been quietly listening, reacted.
[Mine……?]
[As we talked earlier, Sogou felt responsible for indirectly causing deaths in the fight against the Mira army, right?]
This was something Hijiri had already heard during the period she was supporting the mentally unstable Sogou.
[You’re thinking it might be better to have Sogou-san return without telling her that retaining memories is possible——— letting those memories be erased entirely…… is that it, Mimori-kun?]
Talking with Hijiri makes things quick and efficient.
I glanced at Sogou, whose eyes widened in understanding, and said,
[That’s right. I wanted to consult you on whether we should send her back without confirming her wishes.]
Hijiri regarded me with a thoughtful, almost physician-like look,
[……I see. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is commonly observed in returning soldiers abroad, for instance. Sometimes there’s a delayed onset…… even if she seems fine now, there’s a chance Sogou could suffer for years. But if the memories are erased, that concern disappears.]
[Still, hearing what Sogou just said…… I feel we should first confirm her own wishes.]
We looked at Sogou.
She sat up straight———- just like in class.
She looked at me and said,
[Thank you, Mimori-kun.]
[Judging by your current state, I guess the answer is already decided huh.]
Sogou lowered her gaze to her lap and said,
[Indeed…… the experiences I had in this world are painful memories. But…… if my memories were erased and I returned to my original self, then…… I think it would just mean going back to square one.]
Then, she lifted her face.
[I——— want to cherish what I gained in this world.]
[……I understand. Then, let’s go with that.]
I looked away and said,
[Hijiri, I have a favor to ask.]
[———You want me to return while keeping my memories intact, right? And you have something you want me to do after returning.]
I answered hesitantly.
[Well…… yes, that’s it.]
She was far too perceptive, it was honestly a little intimidating.
[Alright. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to return like this. And if we’re keeping Sogou-san’s memories, it makes sense for me to keep mine too.]
That’s…… true.
Even thinking about Sogou, it’s better that Hijiri keeps her memories.
There should be at least two people who share the same memories.
Having memories of a world that no one else knows———–
That’s probably really tough.
[So…… your request is about that uncle and aunt of yours?]
[……As you guessed.]
[I’ll handle it. It’s also my way of repaying you.]
“Besides……”, Hijiri added.
[The people who could stir Mimori Touka so honestly, making him openly anxious and attentive…… I honestly want to see what kind of people they are.]
[No, there’s no need to go that far…… they’re just normal, good people, you know?]
[———Exactly. That’s why I want to meet them even more. From my perspective, people you care for that much must be extraordinary.]
[Well…… since my request involves my uncle and aunt, meeting them seems inevitable……]
[If I agree to your favor, can I ask one thing in return?]
[Yeah.]
[Could we let Itsuki keep her memories too?]
[Numerically, that should be fine. Alright.]
[Thanks. If only one of the twins keeps her memories upon returning, it would be mentally unsettling.]
[Even for Takao Hijiri, that’s the case huh.]
[……Hey, Mimori-kun. What do you take me for? I’m not you, you know.]
[No, what do you take me for……]
[A demon.]
[Oi.]
[Just kidding, forgive me.]
[……………………]
Somehow……
Takao Hijiri’s image in my mind has really started to change.
Thereupon, Hijiri asked with a curious expression.
[By the way, Mimori-kun, listening to everything so far……]
……………………
[Are you planning to stay in this world?]