I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Chapter 13 - No Zuo No Die

Chapter 13: No Zuo No Die

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

“Eighth Stage Dao Body—Condition: Defeat an enemy who has an Eight Stage Dao Body or above head-on.”

Fight someone of a higher rank?

An Lin was a bit startled. He had never heard of such a rank-up condition.

However… this condition didn’t look like it would be impossible.

At least it looked a bit better than requiring him to absorb ten billion spirit stones…

On his way to class the next day, An Lin was still worrying about how exactly he would rank up.

“What’s wrong? You haven’t spoken this whole time.”

In Xu Xiaolan’s eyes, An Lin was the type of person who would die if he didn’t find something to complain about. She couldn’t help but question the handsome male who had suddenly become quiet.

“Say, is it difficult for someone with a Seventh Stage Dao Body to defeat someone with an Eighth Stage Dao Body head-on?” An Lin asked after a moment of hesitation.

“Not really! Back when my rank was Sixth Stage Dao Body, I defeated a cousin in my clan who had a rank of Eighth Stage Dao Body,” Xu Xiaolan said calmly.

“So impressive! How did you do that?” An Lin exclaimed.

Xu Xiaolan smiled triumphantly. “My bloodline crushed his, the purity of my vital energy crushed his, and my grasp of the lineal cultivation method also crushed his. That simple!”

An Lin’s face darkened. “How exactly is that f*cking easy?”

“How about an individual of the Seventh Stage Dao Body who doesn’t have any bloodline, has a cultivation method of passable quality, and has vital energy of typical purity? Would such an individual be able to defeat someone with an Eighth Stage Dao Body?” An Lin persisted.

“Only if the individual with the Eighth Stage Dao Body is retarded!” Xu Xiaolan snorted.

“Sister, that hurts…” An Lin wailed.

“Oi… Oi! What’s this got to do with you? Why are you so filled with grief after hearing what I said?”

Xu Xiaolan was startled upon seeing An Lin’s sudden mood change.

“To tell you the truth, my rank has already reached Seventh Stage Dao Body. Due to factors beyond my control, I want to defeat someone who is of a higher rank than me,” An Lin sighed.

As if she had heard something unfathomable, Xu Xiaolan’s bright eyes widened with surprise.

“Heh, lying isn’t good. I can’t feel any fluctuating energy from your body whatsoever.”

After recovering from her surprise, Xu Xiaolan immediately identified a problem.

Hearing this, An Lin emitted the energy in his body outwards and his aura started to climb steadily until it finally reached a peak.

Seeing this sight, Xu Xiaolan put her hand over her mouth as an expression of shock spread over her face. “My god! It really is Seventh Stage Dao Body!” she yelled.

“It hasn’t even been four months and you’ve gone from Zeroth Stage Dao Body to Seventh Stage Dao Body. How did you do it?!”

Xu Xiaolan was extremely worked up. It was as if she had come across something unfathomable.

“Would you believe me if I told you I achieved this through doing push-ups and absorbing spirit stones?” An Lin asked.

“Are you f*cking trolling me?” Xu Xiaolan rolled her eyes at him and yelled, “Own up!”

An Lin was extremely pleased with himself. He smiled and tousled his short hair. “There’s no harm in telling you. The truth is that my aptitude is astonishing, and I have amazing natural talents. I’m a once-in-ten-thousand-years talent.”

An Lin boasted for a while and expected Xu Xiaolan to scoff at him.

To his surprise, she nodded in agreement. “Now that’s right! I was saying, how could trash receive a True God’s letter of recommendation. They definitely have to have some kind of ability.”

“Oi! Don’t you need to consider my feelings when saying ‘trash’ in front of me?” An Lin was deeply hurt time and time again by Xu Xiaolan’s loose tongue.

“Didn’t my comment imply that you aren’t trash?”

Xu Xiaolan’s eyes squinted as she smiled daintily at An Lin. She looked especially cute.

Seeing Xu Xiaolan’s smiling face, An Lin’s annoyance instantly disappeared.

To this, he could only lament grudgingly. A girl’s smiling face really was a golden ticket out of trouble!

Hey, that’s right! It’d be easier to ask a friend…

I can have her cooperate with me and be my opponent!

A brilliant thought flashed through An Lin’s mind, and he found a way to complete the task.

“Xiaolan, can you help me with something?” An Lin implored with a glint in his eyes.

“What thing?”

Seeing An Lin’s expression, Xu Xiaolan couldn’t help but feel alert.

“I need you to act as my opponent and fight me, then let me defeat you.”

An Lin went straight to the heart of the matter.

Xu Xiaolan recalled what An Lin had said a short while ago. Due to factors beyond his control, he wanted to defeat someone who was ranked higher than him.

“Okay. So, how do you want to fight?” Xu Xiaolan asked. She didn’t mind helping An Lin out.

Based on An Lin’s capabilities, he was definitely no match for her.

An Lin pondered for a while, before suggesting, “How about we vigorously strike at each other a few times, then you collapse to the floor and loudly admit defeat.”

“Sure, let’s do it,” Xu Xiaolan nodded.

An Lin utilized all the power in his body, stomping on the ground fiercely and throwing a strike at Xu Xiaolan.

Xu Xiaolan extended her hand and their palms collided, causing a violent stream of air to explode outwards.

The shockwaves forced An Lin to retreat, while Xu Xiaolan still calmly stood in her original position.

“Come again!” An Lin launched into another fierce attack, his hands becoming a blur of motion as they repeatedly struck towards Xu Xiaolan.

After catching a few of An Lin’s strikes, Xu Xiaolan let out a soft cry before suddenly collapsing to the ground.

“Ah! Immortal An Lin is too strong, I admit defeat!”

Xu Xiaolan was a sorry sight as she looked at An Lin pitiably.

Her acting was absolutely on point and An Lin really felt as if he had defeated her.

If she went to Earth, this acting skill would definitely win her an Oscar!

An Lin was in complete admiration of Xu Xiaolan’s acting. After finally recovering from this feeling, he looked towards the system interface.

Nothing had changed…

So, it really didn’t work? An Lin fell into deep thought.

The condition for ranking up is to defeat an enemy who has an Eighth Stage Dao Body or above head-on.

The system probably didn’t register this battle because the ‘enemy’ condition wasn’t genuinely fulfilled. What if I…

Looking at Xu Xiaolan who was still collapsed on the floor, the expression in An Lin’s eyes changed.

“Hurry and get up! You look so ugly when you’re collapsed on the floor. I can barely bring myself to look at you,” An Lin said coldly.

“What did you say!” Xu Xiaolan stood up, an ice-cold expression on her face.

An Lin spread his hands and spoke slowly. “To tell you the truth, the gulf between your appearance and Su Qianyun’s is like that between an ugly duckling and a white swan. The more I look at your face, the uglier it seems.”

“An! Lin!” Xu Xiaolan stared daggers at An Lin as she ground her teeth and spat out his name.

An Lin laughed lowly. “What’s wrong? Does the truth hurt? Come and hit me!”

Right after he said this, Xu Xiaolan really did pounce, her body emitting an overwhelming aura.

A sense of danger suddenly enveloped An Lin’s entire body.

That’s right! This is the kind of feeling that an enemy should give off!

An Lin was overcome with joy upon seeing this, and he yelled hastily, “Xu Xiaolan, I’ll succeed if you exchange blows with me now, and then admit defeat to me!”

Xu Xiaolan was upon An Lin in a flash, anger and scorn the only expressions on her face.

“Take this b*tch!” Xu Xiaolan cried.

Her jade-like palm ruthlessly struck towards An Lin’s face.

Her strike was incredibly fast and An Lin had no time to dodge.


The slap spun An Lin three-thousand-six-hundred degrees in the air, and he felt a rush of dizziness as he collapsed onto the ground.


Spittles of blood dribbled out from An Lin’s mouth as he lay on the ground, and his eyes were wide open and full of remorse.

Sh*t, what have I done…

[0] ‘No zuo no die’ is a Chinese internet meme meaning that one would not be in trouble had one not asked for it.

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