Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

“It’s a gift from her grandfather, I’m not surprised that you have never heard of it. All you have to do is find me that pendant!” Xiaoyao said.

“Ugh… ok. I’ll try.” Chen nodded. He was also curious, just what is so special about this green jade safety pendant? But his biggest concern right now is that the current Wenyuan is actually Xiangyu… How the hell would ‘she’ know about a pendant?

“As for my third wish, I’ll let you know when I figure that out. Give me your number.” She saved his number to her phone and made a call with it. Hearing his phone ring, an evil smile flashed on her face. “Whatever you do, you’ll never run out of my hands!” She turned and struted away from him.

Chen stood there, thinking in silence. He then text-ed Xiangyu and arranged to meet her at the campus gates first thing in the morning to come up with a plan.

…

After a quiet night, the next morning, Chen drove to the campus gates to meet up with Xiangyu. He arrived as Xiangyu was making her way out of the campus gates. Xiangyu had no idea on how to be a woman: she came walking out with no makeup, messy hair, dressed in baggy sports wear. Other than her well-endowed top, there was nothing else left of the once beautiful girl. Fortunately, she was at least carrying the spirit cage in a bag instead of waving it around in public.

“Bro Bei! Did I keep you waiting?” Xiangyu hurried over. She tried to be as manly as possible, her movements were that of a man that exuded great strength and authority. But as soon as she spoke in that sweet voice of hers… It was hard for her to be anything else but adorable.

Chen stifled his laughter. “I just got here. Bro Yu, I know that you are a straight man on the inside, but don’t forget that you’re in a girl’s body! You need to take care of how you look, or people will start asking questions!”

“How I look?” Xiangyu pouted and replied, “Bah, great men don’t fuss over the small details!”

“Even if you don’t mind the smaller things, could you at least comb your hair properly? It looks like a bird’s nest! Here, let me tidy it up a bit.” Chen shook his head and tried to fix her hair with his hands.

“Chen you animal!”

Just at this moment, an angry voice came from behind Chen. He turned to see who it was and saw a well dressed, good looking man making his way towards him hastily in great strides. It was Green Vine’s most good looking man, Wu Junfan!

“Who the f*ck you think you are! Shouting at Bro Bei like that? I’m gonna slap you to death!” Xiangyu screamed in her cute voice and was about to rush at him.

“Wenyuan! Don’t! He’s my friend.” Chen quickly stopped Xiangyu. If she really went at him, Wu’s soft and delicate face would easily be disfigured with just one slap…

“I’m no friends with an animal like you!” Wu stared at Chen angrily. “You already have Mengcheng, why are you still with Wenyuan?”

Chen was amused by his words, but didn’t explain himself to him. Instead, he smirked and said, “Well, I have no idea why, but pretty girls keep flocking to me. Maybe it’s because I’m too good looking, is that a crime?”

“Ugh…” Wu almost puked blood when he heard that and lamented, “O’ great Buddha! O’ great Goddess Guanyin! Please! Smite this foul beast of a man for he has no shame…”

“Well, if there’s nothing else then we’ll get going.” Chen laughed.

“Stop right there!” Wu’s face was red with anger. “Wenyuan! Let me ask you: Don’t you mind at all that this man has other women besides you?”

Xiangyu merely pouted and replied, “Are you even a real man? What’s wrong with a great man like him having three wives or four mistresses? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that!”

“Umph…” Wu really almost threw up blood. “What’s so good about Chen Xiaobei? Why are these beautiful women all so smitten by him? Wenyuan actually doesn’t mind him having lots of women around? F*ck! This is just too much!” Wu’s vision was getting blurry as he starts to wonder about life.

“Hehe. You heard the lady, she doesn’t mind. So, stop your nonsense, kay?” Chen chuckled.

Seeing Chen’s carefree attitude, Wu pressed on. “Just you wait! I’m here to see Mengcheng, and I’m going to tell her just how much of an animal you are!”

“Hoho, you should know that Mengchen will only think less of you for tattling on me like a child.”

Wu was taken aback. He had been brought up as a gentleman that’s upright and proper, acting lowly like tattling, was way beneath his station. “Hmph! Chen you asshole!” Wu spat. “But don’t celebrate just yet! I won’t stop until Mengchen is mine!”

Chen merely laughed at him. “She’s already mine. How do you plan to woo her?”

“As long as you both are not married, then I still have a chance! You can still back out of this now if you’re scared, you know? Cowards don’t deserve her!” Wu confidently exclaimed. If it is about looks, family, or his upbringing, he is confident that he is well above Chen in these areas. So if they were to compete fairly for Mengcheng, he is sure that he would win!

“Me? Scared?” Chen was amused. “Have you forgotten that you are at a disadvantage in this matter! I’m the one who decides if I want to compete fairly, not you!”

“Then, are you?” Wu shot back.

Chen thought about it while looking around. His eyes then caught someone from afar and he had an idea. “If I simply entertained any Tom, Dick, and Harry that came at me for “fair competition”, wouldn’t that be frustrating? But well, since you’re so eager about this being a fair competition, then fine. I’ll give you a test! If you pass, that means that you have the necessary qualifications to challenge me! But if you fail, stop bugging me. How ’bout that?”

“Shoot! What’s the test?” Wu pressed on.

“You see that pretty lady standing at the entrance of the security’s office there? Yes, the one wearing jeans! If you can give her a slap on her bum, then I’ll agree to your fair competition!” Chen said cheekily.

“What? You want me to act like a perv? No way! I’m not doing that!” Wu rejected. He is the heir of the second richest family of the city. How could he bring himself to do that?

“Well then, fine! You said it yourself. Mengchen doesn’t deserve a cowardly boyfriend.” Chen nonchalantly said. “Wenyuan, get in. We’re leaving.”

“Stop right there!” Wu’s face was a mix of expressions as he gritted his teeth and said, “I’ll show you that I’m no coward! For her sake, so what if I become a perv this one time?”

“The go on. Good luck!” Chen was grinning sheepishly, trying to hold himself back from laughing out loud. He watched as Wu readied himself, and strode off confidently towards the lady at the security’s office’s entrance. And at the very same moment, the girl was talking to the security guard on duty.

“Hi, can you do me a favor and keep these Chinese meds for me? I’ll call someone to come get them later. He’s a student here, his name is Chen Xiaobei.” The lady said.

“Well sure! Please give me your name and contact number and your messenger if you have one.” The guard replied.

“Shit! Why am I doing this? This is crazy!” Wu may look calm and ready on the outside, but his heart was close to an explosion, it was close to popping out of his chest. He had never done anything bad before in his life. Now, he’s about to smack a girl’s ass in broad daylight… If people ever find out, how was he ever going to show his face in public? But if he backed out now, Chen would surely laugh at him!

“Screw it! This is for Mengchen!” Wu bit his lips. He had already prepared himself for the worst. If the girl was a timid one, she would just glare at him, at most. If she was the kind to get angry, then she would probably just screamed at him. Even if she was the kind to fight back, he should be able to take a hit or two, no big deal! After all. if he apologized and explained himself, he should be able to diffuse the situation. Or so he thought.

With that in mind, Wu walked faster and soon closed in on the girl from behind. She was wearing skinny jeans which showcased her long and slender legs, her bum was perfectly round and curved naturally like a peach, bewitching whoever who was looking at it.

“I’m so sorry, miss!” Wu screamed internally. He checked his surroundings to see who was watching, but only saw Chen giving him the thumbs up from afar.

“I can’t let that asshole look down on me! I won’t lose this chance to be with Mengchen! f*ck! Let’s do this!” Wu thought. He gritted his teeth and moved his hand towards the girl’s butt.

“What do you think you’re doing!” The girl suddenly snapped as she turned around and caught Wu’s hand. It all happened so fast, as if she saw it coming, like she had eyes on her back! Not waiting for Wu to even react, the girl pulled him towards and over her and threw him in a textbook manner.

“Oww…” Wu was thrown three meters away and fell flat onto the ground. His whole body was aching from the impact.

“Hey, isn’t that Green Vine’s most handsome bachelor Wu Junfan? Why is he on the ground?”

“I think he was thrown over by that girl because he was being a perv!”

“Seriously, what? Really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover… Who would have thought that Wu Junfan was such a degenerate?”

“Junfan Oppa! If you wanted a girl, you can come at me! Why did you go and become a perv? Why…”

People around all turned their attention to him, all shocked and disgusted.

“Ugh…” Wu’s face was as red as a tomato. All he wanted to do now was to smash the ground open with his head and bury himself in it. His reputation for being a proper and upstanding member of society was now utterly in ruins…

“Wu Junfan! You animal! How dare you do something so lewd in broad daylight!” Chen came running over. “Now, I know this lady’s figure is hard to resist, but this is not an excuse for you to do something so shameless! Apologize immediately!”

Wu’s face looked as if he had just swallowed shit as he cursed Chen over and over again in his heart. He had deliberately just jumped into the gutter that Chen dug! This guy is pure evil!

“Not accepting any apologies. I’m going to turn this perverted asshole into an eunuch!” The girl shouted in rage.

“Oh my god… All I did was tried to slap a butt… I didn’t even do it yet… And now I’m going to become an eunuch? That’s blatant cruelty!” Wu was already sweating profusely. He was avoiding capture with all his strength. Having already tested the strength of this lady, he knew that he would die if he does not escape!

“Huh? Why, isn’t it the beautiful Miss Luo! Why are you here?” Chen faked his surprise and got between the two. Pranking Wu was enough for him. But if this ended up becoming a cock slaughtering incident, then that would be too much.

“Shut up and step aside!” Luo Puti would never even allow men to look at her with pervy eyes, let alone sparing a “lowlife” who tried to touch her bum! She was definitely going to chase Wu to the ends of the world!

“Run! I’ll stop her for you!” Chen shouted as he wrapped his hands tightly around Luo’s waist.

“Thanks! I owe you one!” Wu sprinted off as fast as he can.

“Let go of me! You’re just another pervert like him!” Luo’s face was red with anger. But Chen was hugging her tightly like a koala bear. Being this close to her, Chen caught whiffs of her feminine scent and felt her soft and limber waist in his arms. Only an idiot would let that go.

“Let go! Ugh…” Luo suddenly stopped struggling and let out a painful moan. Then, like a deflated balloon, she slumped into Chen’s arms.

“Hey what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Chen was shocked.

“My chest hurts…” Luo’s face was pale as a sheet, sweat beading up on her forehead, and her whole body was shivering. But other than that, she had no other symptoms. Chen princess-carried her to the car without hesitation.

“Get me my painkillers from my bag… Quick!” In merely a few seconds, Luo’s body became weaker.

“Even Xiangyu was frowning at the sight. “What’s wrong with her? Just moments ago she was up and throwing people around, now she looks half dead!” He could not imagine just what kind of pain could torture the strong and powerful Luo Puti into such a terrible state after just mere moments!

Chen looked inside Luo’s bag and took out a bottle labeled – painkillers. However, after opening the bottle, he did not find the usual pills or tablets like those of western medicine, but found instead some small and black colored round pills. The old Chen would not have suspected a thing. But now with the combined knowledge of the three legendary doctors of Chinese medicine, as well as having read the Black Mamba Demon King’s Secret of Million Poisons, Chen could instantly tell what they were. He closed the bottle and threw it aside.

“What are you doing?… Do you want me to die of pain?…” Luo’s eye widened. She could barely hide the pain from her expression.

“That thing is poison! Don’t you know that?” Chen shot back.

“I know… But if I don’t take it… I will die!” It was now taking her a lot of effort to talk properly, her condition was painful to watch.

“No you’re not! I’m here. You don’t have to take them anymore!” Chen went through Luo’s bag again and took out her silver needles.

“What are you trying to do? If I don’t take them I’ll really die…” Luo was anxious.

“I’m going to cure you with acupuncture!” Chen looked focused as he pulled out the silver needles.

“You? Acupuncture? Chen… I know how much you hate me… But you can’t harm me here! Please!” Luo was in distraught. She would never believe that Chen knew proper acupuncture.

“Bro Bei, give her the meds, it’s not good if she dies.” Even Xiangyu was nervous.

Chen did not just stop there. After inserting the needle, he lightly flicked the end of the needle to vibrate it. As the needle was just embedded at the right length and flicked with exactly the right amount of force, it mysteriously vibrated at a constant rate without stopping. Moving on to the next needle, Chen did the same thing again. But when the second needle was inserted and flicked, the two needles started resonating with each other! By the time he was done with the third needle, Luo’s pale face was looking a lot better. Her eyes opened wide in surprise as she watched Chen skillfully inserted needle after needle and felt her pain going away. Xiangyu’s mouth was open in awe. Both of them did not believe Chen when he said he knew acupuncture. But with just three needles, Chen turned their beliefs completely around!

“Gorgeous, don’t keep looking at me like that. What if you fall in love with me?” Chen joked. Luo blushed, but did not turn her eyes away and watched as Chen inserted the fourth needle. She wasn’t paying attention to his looks, but rather, his acupuncture technique. By the time he was done with the ninth needle, the pain in her chest was totally gone. Luo could no longer hold in her surprise. “My god! Chen Xiaobei! Was that the Nine Dragons Acupuncture Technique? I must be dreaming!”

“Oho! So you know this?” Chen was also surprised. This technique was founded in the early Qin dynasty (221 BC). After Hua Tuo’s death, it was lost to history. He did not expect Luo to be able to identify it. Looked like this lady was not as simple as she appeared to be!

“Of course I do! I’ve been learning acupuncture from my grandfather since I was a child. His biggest wish was to see it in action before he dies!” Luo said. “For that, he journeyed across the whole country and visited countless other acupuncture masters, but did not find any significant because no one had learned the real thing. I still cannot believe that you actually can use it!”

“I still have a trick or two!” Chen said cheekily. “Just because of my great looks, a lot of people keep mistaking me for simply being an idol. I’m actually someone with skills you know?”

“Stop being disgusting…” Puti rolled her eyes and asked him in a serious manner. “When did you start practicing acupuncture? Your level of skill looks like you have been practicing for over 20 years! Even if you are an acupuncture genius, that would still take 10 years at the very least!”

“Umm… Almost 10 I think…” Chen said with a straight face. He couldn’t possibly tell her that he has the scholar’s heart and had only used one hour to learn that!

“Wait, if you knew this technique, why didn’t you use it to cure your father?” Luo’s detective instincts kicked in.

“About that…” Chen was taken by surprise, but luckily the heart of scholar gave him the ability to process thought and information and come up with an answer instantly. “Isn’t it obvious? I didn’t have internal energy cultivated yet. So even if I knew this technique, I still couldn’t treat my dad.”

“Oh, right.” Luo nodded. “The pain is gone. Can you take off the needles now?”

“Sure. But you have to give me a kiss first like we agreed!” Chen smiled as he put his face forward.

“Go away! You’re the one who decided on that yourself! I didn’t agree to it in the first place!” Luo rolled her eyes again. “Besides, the deal was only if you heal me. You just relieved the pain for now, and I’m still miles away from being completely healed!”

“Heh heh, Since you put it that way, that means you acknowledge the bet! So you agree to kiss me if I heal you!” Chen said expectantly. Getting a kiss from the Ice Demon Queen was going to be a very thrilling experience!

“How about you tell me, how are you going to heal me?” Luo herself was looking forward to being cured. She had been suffering for many years now, and had even contemplated suicide on many occasions. If her sickness could be cured, that would be the most wonderful thing to her right now! As for the kiss, well even if she weaseled her way out of it, it was not like he could do anything about it!

“There is one way to fix this, but you’re going to get angry.”

“Just tell me, I won’t get angry.”

“Fine. The poison is rooted deep inside your system since you’ve been feeding it for such a long time. You know acupuncture yourself, so you should know that this only treats the symptoms and not the cause.” Chen explained.

“Yes, you’re right.” She nodded.

“To get rid of the poison completely, you need to fix it from both internally and externally with medication and… And… You sure you won’t get angry?” Chen stuttered.

“Come on, spit it out! Are you a man or not? Just tell me, I won’t get angry.” Luo was very eager to hear his diagnosis.

“Fine, I’ll say it…” Chen swallowed. He glanced at her wonderfully voluptuous chest and said, “the external part of the treatment is via massaging. Only my Medicine King’s Art of Massage can do that, others can’t…”

“Massage?” Luo frowned.

Xiangyu, who was listening from the sideline started giggling. “Girl, don’t you get it? Bro Bei wants to give you a boob massage! Hehehe…”

“What?!” Luo exclaimed. “Chen Xiaobei, you lecherous degenerate! I had so much faith in you, but you’re only thinking about touching my boobs? That’s it! Come here, you!” Luo was like an enraged lioness. She pulled off the needles on her chest and quickly got up, going straight for him. She was thankful and amazed with Chen for healing her just now, but all that feelings went out the window as soon as she heard him say “massage”.

“Lady, please! Calm yourself down!” Chen backed up. “If you don’t want a massage, fine! I’m not forcing you! We can still continue using needles to fix the pain. I’m not trying to get naughty with you!”

Luo stopped when she realized that she was overreacting, but was still glaring at Chen. “You better not! If you try anything hanky-panky, I’ll castrate you in a heartbeat!” She turned around and walked away in her heels.

“Now you’re being obscene!” Chen smirked at Xiangyu’s words while watching Luo’s hips sway as she walked away. How could any straight man resist that? But Chen knew better and shook his head. “This lady was many levels above me in terms of strength, and has a horrible temper. Not my cup of tea.”

“Why? You admitting defeat?” Xiangyu teased.

“The word “defeat” has been erased from my dictionary a long time ago!” Chen laughed. “But she really isn’t my ideal kind of woman. If she was, I’d make her beg to be in my pants!”

“Then what is your ideal?”

“I like girls who are gentle, considerate, and most importantly, kind! Well, at least two out of these three qualities.”

“Well, if you say so.” Xiangyu shrugged.

“Bro Yu, wait for me for a bit, I’m going to the guard’s post to find out what she was doing here,” Chen said and headed towards the guard’s post.

After identifying himself, the guard handed him the bag of Chinese medicine that Luo had placed there. Chen took a whiff and was surprised. “These meds are excellent for bone recovery! Did she get these for father? The Ice Queen, delivering meds herself. That’s rather kind of her!” Chen thought. He looked through the items in the bag and found a piece of paper with her handwriting on it. It contained detailed instructions on how the meds should be prepared and served, as well as the do’s and don’t during preparation. “Aww, how considerate of her!” Chen smiled. “Kind and considerate. Gentleness… Can be taught over time. Looks like I should really give Xiangyu’s suggestion some thought. Taming the Ice Queen, that’s going to be interesting! Hehe…”

After that, Chen drove away with Xiangyu to have their discussion elsewhere. As they drove away from the campus gates, a man dress like a bodyguard was eyeing them from behind a corner nearby. He took out his phone and called. “Hello, Manager Wen, Wenyuan has just left school grounds!”

“Good! Tail her and don’t let them find out. Keep updating me on her location. I’ll be there in half an hour. Hahaha… It’s been three days, but she’s finally outside!” Wen Tiandou’s excitement can be heard through the phone.

…

“This place seems alright, no one should bother us.” Looking for a secluded place in the middle of the day was hard. But Chen finally found an abandoned construction site and drove straight in. “So here’s the thing…” Chen summarized last night’s meeting with Murong Xiaoyao for Xiangyu.

“I don’t have Wenyuan’s memories, so I have no idea where the pendant is,” Xiangyu said. “But I can help you handle the Murong girl. And you can school her later with a dog biscuit!”

“Well since we don’t know where the pendant is, it’s just a matter of time before she realizes and comes after us. Looks like the last biscuit is hers then.” Chen nodded. “Let’s not talk about her now. How’s the evil spirit? Is it cleansed yet?” Chen then asked.

“Almost. But you have to finish the job,” Xiangyu took the Spirit Cage out from her backpack.

“Why so?” Chen puzzled.

“That’s because this spirit cage is yours. After an evil spirit has been cleansed, you have to decide whether to keep it or to let it pass on into purgatory.” Xiangyu explained while he took out Sanzang’s prayer beads and mantra manual.

“That so? Then let’s see who this ghost is!” Chen placed the cage in front of him, held the manual and prayer beads in both hands and started the final step of the cleansing ritual. Soon the nine dark skulls on top of the spirit cage became brighter and the car lit up in wonderful colors as if a holy cleansing light was coming from it. A small ethereal human figure appeared in the cage. Although ethereal, it had the body of a human girl. Her face was no longer distorted and looked beautiful. But when Chen saw her face, he was shocked.

“Wenyuan!” He could not believe it! The evil spirit that they cleansed was the very person that they were just talking about!

“Chen Xiaobei? Is that really you?” After cleansing her malice, Wenyuan had regained her senses and she could not believe who she was seeing as well. “Wait, is that my body? How is it still alive? And moving!?” She screamed in confusion while pointing at Xiangyu.

“Calm down! You’re here because you became an evil spirit and I cleansed your soul of malice.” Chen said. “You have two choices: One is to go on to purgatory, the other is to acknowledge me as your master and stay in the spirit cage.”

“I…” Wenyuan just regained her sense of self and was in confusion. But she soon her memories slowly came back and she calmed down. “I remember everything! Chen… Thank you for saving me…” Wenyuan said earnestly while biting her lips. “I’m so sorry that father and I tried to use you. I don’t know if you’ll forgive us, but I beg you, please help me avenge father and grandfather! As long as you can help me to kill Wen Tiandou, I’ll be your slave and give you everything I have! Although I am just a ghost and have nothing now, I can still possess any beautiful girl you like and you can…”

“Cough cough…” Chen interrupted. His face was bright pink. He then continued in a serious voice: “Possessing another body is a great sin, so you better don’t! And besides, the journey is just as important as the destination. I will make my woman mine by my own means.”

“Then would you help me please? Brother Chen, I’m begging you, pleeeaaasssseee…” Wenyuan was biting her lips and saying that in a sultry voice, her eyes were giving Chen seductive glances. When it came to the art of using her sex appeal to get what she wanted, she would be the grandmaster.

Chen tried resisting, but finally relented and said, “Wen Tiandou that animal! Murdering his family members and coming for my life so many times! I was going to take care of that asshole even before you asked me to!”

“Really? Oh Chen, you’re the best! I’m your slave forever!” Wenyuan cheered and danced around in the cage with her ghostly body like a cute little pixie.

VROOM…

Chen quickly kept the spirit cage out of sight. Wenyuan was ethereal and invisible to the naked eye, so he wasn’t that worried.

The doors of the minivans slid open and some ten plus bodyguards in black suits and shades stepped out of them, all of them rubbing their fists and limbering up as if preparing to fight. Wen Tiandou then came strolling out of the last van and stared right at Xiangyu. “After waiting outside the university for three days and nights, you finally appeared, my dear niece!”

“Animal! Murderer!” Wenyuan’s anger was bursting out.

“This is bad, he came… I’m still not strong enough…” Chen became very worried.

“Don’t give up! I’m here!” Xiangyu said.

“Bro Yu, do you have 5000 combat power?” Chen asked excitedly.

“Close. But since we’re already here, might as well end things with this bastard!” Xiangyu replied resolutely. The word “retreat” had no place in her dictionary.

“Good! Since you put it that way, let’s fight it out! Right here, right now!” Chen was all fired up.

Never retreat, never surrender!

“You two are the best! Kill that piece of shit!” Wenyuan had no idea who was in her body, but she did not mind it one bit. As long as she could avenge her father and grandfather, everything else would not matter.

Chen and Xiangyu stepped out of the car and shouted, “Wen Tiandou, you animal! You killed your own father and brother, and now you want to kill your niece? You really are a shameless bastard!”

Wen Tiandou glanced at Chen and scoffed. “Ho? You lucky son of a bitch. How did you get away from my shixiong?”

“You mean, Blood Dove?” Chen replied in a cheeky manner. “Last I heard he went and attacked my village head’s family and died.”

“Lies! My brother’s abilities are greater than mine! He could level a whole village if he wanted to! Killed by your village head? Ha! You must think I’m an idiot!” Wen Tiandou rolled his eyes. He did not believe Chen’s words. How could Blood Dove, who was even stronger than him die so easily?

“Well, since you have so much faith in your brother’s abilities, why don’t we bet on that? Try calling him. If he picks up, I’ll cut off my head and let you play soccer with it. But if he doesn’t, you come over and let me kick you once. How about that?” Chen challenged.

“Sure why not? I wasn’t not planning to let you both leave here alive anyways!” Wen Tiandou said and took out his phone and dialed Blood Dove’s number while turning on the speaker mode.

“Hello?” In just a few rings the call was picked up and a stern voice answered.

“Hahaha, did you hear that? The call connected! Now cut your head off!” Tiandou laughed.

“Haha, this kid thinks he’s a smartass, betting his head! He has no idea just how strong Blood Dove is!”

“Kid must be from the circus to think up this clown act! It’s dumb!”

“Hahahaha…”

The ten so bodyguards were all laughing silly at Chen like he’s some comedian. But in the next few moments, their laughter turned into frowns when they heard the voice over the phone said: “Hello? Why aren’t you talking? Are you the family of the deceased? If you are please come down to Green Vine Police Department! We need you to identify the body!”

“Wait… What did you just say?” Wen Tiandou’s face convulsed as he couldn’t process what he just heard. Blood Dove was an elite disciple of the Hundred Beasts Faction! How could he just suddenly die on a mission in a poor backwater place like the Chen Village? If this news gets out, not only would Blood Dove be humiliated, it will also bring shame to the entire Hundred Beasts Faction!

“You got seven days to come identify the body, or we’ll surrender it to medical institutions without delay!” The voice said impatiently and ended the call.

“Blood Dove… Brother… He is really dead…” Wen Tiandou was so upset his face was screwed up as if he had just eaten a steaming pile of shit.

“Wen Tiandou! You lost! Now come over here and let me kick you.” Chen’s lips curled into a sarcastic smile. He was prepared to give him a good taste of the Nutbuster if he came over!

“You want to kick me? In your next life maybe!” Tiandou obviously did not intend to keep his word. “All of you get him! Kill this piece of shit!” As soon as he ordered them, the bodyguards quickly moved to surround Chen.

“That scum! He’s not keeping his word and brought so many allies to go against you two, Xiaobei, will you be alright?” Wenyuan asked nervously as she flew and darted around Chen like a pixie.

“Chill, just some small fries? Not even enough to whet my appetite!”

“You got some balls punk, still not peeing your pants?” Wen Tiandou folded his arms and said. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, but these bodyguards are all professionals from a very expensive company and they are a lot stronger than the thugs you meet on the streets…”

BANG!

Tiandou almost bit his tongue. Before he could finish his sentence, one of his so-called “professional bodyguards from an expensive company” was kicked by Chen and flew five meters away, laying completely still.

“What’s happening? This punk is also from Jianghu?” Wen Tiandou’s eyes bulged. But Chen did not stop there. He grabbed another bodyguard by the arm and twisted.

*CRACK!*

*CRACK!*

His arm was twisted into a knot and he was rolling on the floor in pain.

*BANG!*

*BANG!*

*BOOM!…*

The bodyguards watched helplessly as Chen tore through their ranks like they were nothing more than origami. Whenever Chen struck, bones crack, muscles tear, and one by one the men in black fell. In just less than half a minute, only one bodyguard was left standing.

“Stay there! Don’t… Don’t come over!” The poor man was terrified and shaking in his pants.

“Owww… Awww…”

The bodyguard was sent flying like a cloud in the sky backward, towards where Tiandou was.

*BAM!*

As the bodyguard was about to crash into Wen Tiandou, his boss did not catch him but instead, smacked the poor man another seven, eight meters away. The poor man was seen throwing up blood before he crashed hard on the ground and passing out.

“How could he do that to his own men! He’s a monster! Animal! Trash! Scum!” Wenyuan was throwing a fit and waving her tiny fists around. Being just a spirit, Chen was the only one who can see her.

“Looks like you’re no simple kid! You’re skilled for your age!” Wen slowly stepped towards Chen. “Too bad you aren’t smart enough! Showing off like that just makes me want to kill you even more! I won’t leave anyone that threatens me alive!”

“Oh but it’s a bit early to say who’s killing who don’t you think?” Chen said with a straight face. As he finished, Xiangyu, who had been quiet all this time stepped forward in front of Chen. Her small frame getting in between Chen and Wen in a defensive stance, exuding a strong sense of security like a huge mountain defending Chen from any threat. With a brother like this, what was there for Chen to fear?

“You? Protect him? Are you joking?” Tiandou laughed.

“As long as I am here, don’t even think about touching him!” Xiangyu replied.

“Hahaha…” Wen Tiandou broke into laughter. “I must be hearing things. A girl like you think that you can stop me?”

“Wrong! I’m not here to stop you, I’m here to beat you up!” Xiangyu bellowed in her cute voice.

“Pffttt… Hahaha…” Wen couldn’t stop laughing when he heard that. “Did a donkey kick your head or something? I’m an Inner Qi level fighter! You, you can’t even fight, and you say that you want to beat me up? Hah! Just hand over the pendant the old man gave you and I’ll consider sparing your lives!”

Xiangyu’s expression darkened and replied in a cold tone, “Since you say that I’m weak, why don’t you try me and let me slap you?”

“Hmph! Don’t say that I never gave you any chance! Come, here!” Wen snorted as he turned his cheek towards her and playfully slapped it a few times. “You better hope you can kill me with your slap, or you both are dead!” Wen Tiandou did not even consider Wenyuan as a threat. Chen might be able to put a dent on him, but Wenyuan? The girl has barely enough strength to wrestle a chicken! Never in his wildest dreams would he imagine that his niece was already possessed by the great Overlord, Xiangyu! He took her threats merely as a joke and acted all high and mighty until…

POW!!!

The loud sound of Xiangyu’s slap resounded throughout the construction site. The surrounding buildings even echoed it back and forth. That was one very powerful slap.

That’s right.

Xiangyu the King slapped Wen Tiandou!

Her fair and delicate looking hand landed squarely on Wen Tiandou’s cheek and slapped him with more than two thousand pounds of force! That is what 5000 combat power feels like! Although Wen Tiandou’s defense was 5000 as well, he had let his guard down completely because he thought that it was Wenyuan who had slapped him. However, a palm-sized truck had just struck his face! In just a split second, he was sent flying across the site like a comet towards a pile of construction rubble nearby.

*BOOM!*

The pile of construction waste exploded in dust and debris as Wen Tiandou crashed into it.

“What the f*ck! Bro Yu! That was f*cking awesome!” Witnessing Xiangyu’s strength with his own eyes got Chen’s blood boiling with excitement.

“Oh my god! Just who is in my body! So strong! That’s so freaking awesome!” Wenyuan’s eye opened wide in awe. Even her small mouth became O shaped.

“That slap looked so good! Now, that’s what I call strength!” Chen said while clenching his fists. “I’m going to step up my cultivation and become as strong as Bro Yu!”

“I need a potion now.” Xiangyu calmly lifted her small arm. Her hand was covered entirely in blood and wounds!

“What? How did this happen? Your body still can’t handle 5000 combat strength, yet?” Chen quickly took out a bottle of Hundred Herb Potion and poured it over her bloody hand. As soon as the potion covered the wounds, her hand began to heal quickly.

“This body is still too weak. I’ve been training non-stop, but it’s still not there yet. Now, it can only handle the strain from 4000 combat power.” Xiangyu said disappointingly.

“That’s ok, training and cultivation need time. Besides, Wen Tiandou is probably knocked out cold, I’ll just go over and finish this!” Chen said with a murderous look in his eyes.

“That’s right! Kill that bastard! Brother Chen, if you kill him, then I will call you my master!” Wenyuan was waving her tiny fists nonstop with an eager expression.

“Wait don’t go, he can still fight!” Xiangyu stopped Chen.

*BOOM!*

As soon as he said that, the rubble erupted and Wen Tiandou jumped out from it. Even though his face was bloody and his nose was crooked from Xiangyu’s slap, he was still not defeated yet.

“What the f*ck! What is this? bitch, since when, were you this strong? How?” Wen Tiandou was confused. How did his niece become strong enough to slap him like that?

“You are about to go down, so why bother asking?” Xiangyu said that with the cutest expression ever. She then took one step forward and bolted towards him like a rocket.

“Bro Yu…” Chen was worried. Xiangyu’s body could only handle 4000 combat power, she might not be enough to defeat Wen Tiandou.

DING!

[Cultivation: Inner Qi Stage; Defense: 4200; Combat power: 4200!]

Reading the info from the Netherspirit Battlescouter, Chen was slightly relieved. “That slap across his face really did a number on him! But, he still has the upper hand. We need to do something, or Bro Yu will lose for sure!”

“I can help too! That monster must die today!” Wenyuan circled around Chen while waving her tiny fists.

BANG! BANG! BOOM!

The two fighters with over 4000 combat strength or more clashing in a distance, their every punch and kick carrying more than a thousand pound of strength in them, and there were more than a hundred of them a minute! The surrounding ground cracked and dust and debris constantly flew around them with every move they make, the scene was much more surreal than a Hollywood action movie! When they started, both fighters were on equal grounds, but as time passed, the odds were slowly leaning in Wen Tiandou’s favor, his slight difference in combat strength prevailing.

“Now!” Wen Tiandou saw an opening and caught Xiangyu’s wrist with his left hand. He twisted her arm behind her and wrapped his right arm around her neck.

“Ugh…” Xiangyu was bound and choking, unable to free herself from his hold.

“Bitch! How do you like me now? Tell me where did you put the jade pendant that the old man gave you! Or I’ll let you know what pain really feels like!” Wen Tiandou had a villainous smile as he said that. It was obvious by now that he held no attachment whatsoever towards his own kin. He would put his own niece through a lot of pain just to get what he wants.

“Stop!” Chen shouted while running towards them. “I know where the pendant is! Let her go, and I’ll tell you!”

“Bro Bei…” Xiangyu was confused. Since when did Chen know where it is? But while he was puzzled, he saw Chen looking at her in a peculiar manner and realized that this is a ruse, so she played along.

“Oh? So you do? Then tell me now!” Wen Tiandou said haughtily. “Your lives are in my hands, you are in no position to be negotiating with me!”

“Let her go, or I’ll never tell you!” Chen did not budge. He secretly activated the Heaven and Earth Scriptures, as well as all the Dragon Force inside his body.

“Hah! You think you can threaten me?” Wen Tiandou spat. “Stop testing my patience boy! You think I dare not kill her here and now?” Xiangyu was like a fish on a chopping board, her life is in Wen Tiandou’s hands. Even under these circumstances, Chen did the unthinkable.

“No I don’t!” Chen shouted and charged at Wen Tiandou.

“Hmmm? Did you squeeze your balls between a closing door or something? You think you can save her with those low-leveled abilities of yours?” Wen Tiandou scorned. He could not imagine Chen’s efforts bringing out any kind of result in this situation. To him, Chen was merely rushing to his own death. But just then, the unthinkable happens! Unnoticed by anyone, one of Wen Tiandou’s bodyguards had crawled up behind Wen Tiandou. The man had grabbed onto Wen Tiandou’s leg, and bit into his ankle!

“Oww…” The sudden painful feeling of teeth biting into his Achilles tendon surprised Wen Tiandou! His body reacted naturally to the sharp pain and loosened his grip momentarily, and that was what Xiangyu has been waiting for! Xiangyu broke free from Wen Tiandou’s hold and twisted his arm behind his back into an armlock!

“Huh? What?” It all happened so fast, he could not yet grasp the situation. In just mere moments, he went from the one doing the holding, to the one being held! But before he had enough time to react to that, Chen was already right in front of him.

“Nut! Busting! Kick!” Chen screamed as he summoned every ounce of strength and Dragon Force inside his body and put it into his kick. His leg shot upwards in a curve at a blinding speed and connected squarely in between Wen Tiandou’s legs.

“Ayeee… Wuwuwuwu…” Chen kicked with everything he got and sent Wen Tiandou screaming like a little girl and flying straight up ten meters into the air, like an obnoxiously loud space monkey!

*BAM!*

Wen Tiandou’s body was still relatively unharmed after falling from that height, his high defense stats showing its benefits. But even if he did survive that, the injury at his crotch however, was painful enough to put him down! His eyes were wide and bulging like a dead fish, veins popped on his forehead, and he was frothing at the mouth. Wen Tiandou had no fight left in him! He lost! Defeated by Chen Xiaobei!

‘What the f*ck! Bro! What move was that? That shit is sick! I want to learn it! I must learn it! The next time someone gets on my nerves I’ll give them a kick! Just thinking about that feels awesome!” Xiangyu was excited. She had always been interested in martial arts, especially strong and powerful moves like these. This is a must-learn for her!

“Wow! Master! You are waaaaaayyyyy too too too toooooo cool!” Wenyuan said as she came out from the bodyguard and flew around Chen. “From now on, you are my master! I will always be your little slave! Master! Smooch…”

“Oh my, smooch…” Chen was taken by surprise, but puckered up and kissed. Too bad Wenyuan was only a spirit and merely floated through his head. He felt nothing.

“Hahaha! Master is a big perv!” Wenyuan floated in front of Chen and teased.

“Hmph! You naughty little slave! How dare you tease your owner! Now change into a maid outfit.” Chen pouted.

“I can’t, my cultivation is too low, hehe. I’ll do that once my cultivation is high enough!” Wenyuan winked. She was feeling very happy now that she got her revenge.

“Alright let’s get back to business. These people have seen too much, they must die!” Xiangyu being the mature one of the trio quickly calmed her excitement and went towards the bodyguards lying on the floor.

*CRACK!*

*CRACK!*

*CRACK..*.

One by one she twisted their heads. With every head she snapped, her merit points grew by a hundred or two. These bodyguards were not good men themselves. Killing them would be a service to society!

“Bro Bei, I’ll leave Wen Tiandou to you!” Xiangyu said.

Chen strode towards Wen Tiandou. He intended to put an end to this blood feud. Wen Tiandou saw him approaching and knew his end was near. He gritted his teeth and fought the pain in his groin and tapped on his wristwatch.

“Hmm?” Chen noticed this and was alarmed, he was afraid that Wen Tiandou might be up to something. He rushed over quickly and stepped down hard on his neck, but he was too late. The smartwatch had already sent a message.

“What was he trying to pull? Even when he was at the gates of hell…” Chen frowned, his gut telling him something was wrong. But he had no clue whatsoever on what it was and decided not to think too much about it for now. He would deal with it when the time comes.

DING!

[For exterminating a three-lifetime evil person, you gained 30,000 merit points!]

DING!

[You have accumulated 70,000 merit points, only 20,000 left to the next merit level (Charm: 7,000; Luck: 7,000)!]

Reading the notification, Chen was jumping with joy. “Wow! 30 thousand points in one go! That’s great! My number of fans will increase! If my Weibo is getting this much attention, Beicheng Jewelry’s opening the day after tomorrow will be the biggest event the town has ever seen!”

Eradicating evil men and gaining merit is the best job for him. With these collected points, he could buy items from others in the Red Envelope Group, and increase his charm and luck. Although charm and luck were not tangible stats, they had indirectly influenced and helped Chen out a great deal, especially in areas that he had never expected. So not only does exterminating evil help make the world a better place, it would also grant him many wonderful benefits that were literally out of this world!

Chen then took the Chaos Sword out and allowed it to absorb the blood of the bodies. Especially Wen Tiandou’s as he was a high-level martial artist and practitioner and had much more power in his blood than the others. This gave the sword a significant boost in its strength. After he was done with that, Chen then kept all their corpses into his treasure chest. At then, these men had completely disappeared from the face of the planet without a single trace. Even if the police were to get involved, they would not be able to find any clues leading to his involvement. After double checking to make sure he did not leave any traces behind, Chen and Xiangyu drove away from the scene.

“Bother Yu, you mentioned that you want to return to being a man, tell me how and let’s get it done right away. By then, you can return this body to Wenyuan and everybody is happy!”

“Yes! Master is right! I want my cute body back!” Wenyuan reacted expectantly.

Xiangyu nodded. “It’s actually very simple. I just need to die and leave this body, and then possess a second Corpse using the Soul Possession ritual.”

“If that’s the case, then this is easy!” Chen said confidently. “I have 70,000 merit points now. I just need to spend 60,000 and I’ll be able to perform the ritual for the both of you!”

“No, it sounds easy but unfortunately, there’s a catch!” Xiangyu sighed. “The ritual itself is against heaven’s will and a taboo. The first one may cost 30,000 points, but a second ritual costs 300,000!”

“What? 300,000? That much?” Chen was shocked. It took him a lot of time and effort to hear that 70,000 points. But 300,000? That’s way above his expectations! Unless… “Here’s what I’ll do: I’ll go get some spicy sticks and sell them in the group. As long as I can sell 30 sticks, you’ll be able to become a man very soon!” Chen smiled cheekily. “Don’t worry. They that say every problem has its solution. And spicy sticks is our solution!”

Hearing that Xiangyu gulped. “Uhh… Bro Bei…” he said with a guilty expression. “There’s something I need to tell you…”

“Well then spit it out! Since when does Xiangyu the Great Overlord stutter?” Chen responded.

“A few days ago… When you went back to your village… I visited the campus’ convenience store… and bought a bag of spicy sticks… I thought they tasted great and wanted to send some to my wife…” Xiangyu gulped nervously and continued, “But I mistakenly sent the whole bag into the group instead… along with the price tag on the bag… so the whole group now knows how much it really costs…”

*BOOM!*

Chen felt like he was struck by lightning. He was speechless and couldn’t think straight. Even his Scholar’s Heart had also stopped working. The one thing he worried so much about has finally happened! No wonder there was a wave of Red Envelopes on the day he returned to the village. He even got two bowls of Mengpo’s soup from that. So it was because Xiangyu sent a bag of spicy sticks into the group…

“Bro Bei… I really didn’t mean to do that… I’m so sorry…” Xiangyu said in a soft voice. Guilt was written all over his face.

“Well, what’s happened already happened. No use for apologies now!” Chen replied in a nervous voice. “I more worried if Lord Yanwang won’t take off ten years of my life from the book of life? Or will Monkey King get so angry, he comes down to earth to beat me personally? And the Bull Demon King… God Erlang… Old man Shennong… Oh god! I think I’ve just offended a lot of gods. How am I going to live after this?” Chen was already crying. So many angry gods coming for him… That idea alone is terrifying!

“Uhhh… I don’t think it will go that far… After my mistake, I haven’t even logged in once… I don’t know what’s going on in there… Want to take a peek?” Xiangyu was much more remorseful than before.

“Errr…” Chen did not dare delay the matter any longer. He pulled up the car on the side of the road and logged into the chat.

DING!

Little Nezha: Wow! God Chen in online! I’m out of here… (3 running emojis)

God Erlang: What the actual f*ck! Number one Swindler of the Three Realms! You actually dared to log on! @Chen Xiaobei

Yanwang: F*ck you! Number one Swindler of the Three Realms! Give me back my merit points! @Chen Xiaobei

Bull Demon King: You bastard! Lock the door and let the dogs lose! Bite this Number one Swindler of the Three Realms to death! (3 angry emojis)

Shennong: Let’s beat this Number one Swindler of the Three Realms up! (3 knife emoji) @Monkey King, Why aren’t you saying anything you monkey? Come out and help fight this swindler!

These few gods were the ones who had previously bought spicy sticks from Chen and they are all so furious they could skin Chen alive. And as soon as they started flaming, the other gods and deities that were on good terms with them also joined in as well. Ox-Head and Horse-Face, both Black and White of Impermanence, Princess Iron Fan, Hong Haier, Shennong’s fellow deity followers, as well as the whole lot of the imperial army… All were coming down on Chen. The name “Number One Swindler of the Three Realms” kept resounding in his head.

“Shit… What should I do?” Chen looked at the barrage of angry messages on his phone, sweat beading on his forehead.

DING!

After all the hate messages, the Prime’s message came to Chen like a ray of hope and lifted him out of depression.

Chen: Sifu! I’m in big trouble! Please help me!

DING! The Prime has muted this chat!

Just like that, the chat finally quietened down.

“Oh my god! Shutting everyone up just like that! My sifu is too awesome! Chen’s eyes nearly popped out when he saw the notification. If it wasn’t so, why would people call his sifu the most imperious of the gods? Even bossier than the Three Pure Ones! Shutting up the whole chat without even asking any questions, he’s shooting first and asking questions later! That just showsed how domineering he was!

Prime: Whoever has a problem with my disciple, speak!

DING! The Prime has unmuted the chat.

…

…

…

Three whole minutes passed, and no one dared say anything.

“Shit! This is just too freaking awesome!” Chen thought to himself while staring at the phone screen. His blood was boiling with excitement and there were goosebumps all over him. Who would dare challenge his sifu? Who can?

Prime: Don’t say I’m being a bully! You guys had your chance to talk, so don’t say I’m not giving you any chances! But since you guys aren’t saying anything, so I’ll say something!

Prime: Who should I start with first?

Prime: @Shennong you smelly old fart! Have you no respect for your own age? What Hundred Herbs Potion? That’s just toxic waste from your medicine production! You even added water! Did you try to sell that to my disciple for 100 merit points a bottle? You sly old fox! And you’re calling others a swindler? How dare you!

Shennong: Prime, I was wrong… Please let me save some face, let’s talk in private… (3 ashamed emojis)

Prime: Pssst! So your face is important, but my disciple’s isn’t? Why didn’t you flame him in private then? Apologize to him now!

Shennong: @Chen, I was wrong. Please accept my apology…

“Holy cow! This is crazy! One moment he’s angry the next he’s telling me he’s sorry! Ahahaha… Having a badass sifu is really awesome…” Chen was thrilled. When the matter of the spicy sticks came to light, he was very sure that he would be in a very bad spot for a very long time. Until sifu showed up and solved everything just like that. Chen was more than relieved. He was elated!

Prime: @Bull Demon King You! You rented a broken hammer to my disciple for 1000 points and you think you can get away with that? You lying scum! And you’re making a ruckus over this right now? If your face is itching that much, why don’t I come over and slap it for you?

Bull Demon King: No no no no! Hahaha, Prime you are funny… I’m fine, my face is fine… (3 shocked emojis)

Prime: Then you know what to do!

Bull Demon King: @Chen, I’m very sorry… I did try to cheat you before… This is definitely on me…

Prime: @Lord Yanwang, How can you be so shameless? Chen exchanged his spicy stick just for your stupid Netherspirit Battlescouter and your useless wooden sword, but you want him to refund you with merit points? Where the hell is your pride? Did you feed it to the dogs, or what?

Lord Yanwang: Prime, I was wrong (3 facepalm emojis) @Chen, I apologize. I was just jumping on the bandwagon and blindly following the majority, not that I have a problem with you in particular…

Prime: @Erlang

Erlang: Prime, I know what I need to do. @Chen, I’m sorry! I was the one who’s wrong here!

Prime: Since when did I say that you can apologize yet? Hmph! Among all these people, you deserve a beating the most! I’m have not even begun with you, who the hell said you can apologize?

Erlang: Oh Prime! Please let me go… (3 sobbing emojis)

Prime: Since the beginning of this Red Envelope group, you cheeky little asshole, you have been staring with all three eyes at your screen without rest, waiting to grab those Red Envelopes! And until this very moment, you still haven’t given anything back to the group! Even your pet dog has thrown in some of his dog food. Are you a lesser person than your dog?

Erlang: Oh no please let me off this time… (This is too embarrassing)

Prime: Not giving back anything aside, you actually had the balls to go spread rumors and talk shit about my disciple, calling him stingy! You think I wouldn’t find out? You’re lucky enough that I still haven’t gone over there and opened a can of whoop-ass on you, but you still had to flame him in public chat!

Erlang: Holy Prime, please don’t be mad, I’ve learned my lesson (3 crying emojis)

Prime: I’m still not done with you! This spicy stick issue is definitely your doing, am I right? What are you trying to pull here? Trying to blackmail my disciple of his merit points? Or his Red Envelopes?

Erlang: No I wouldn’t dare…

Prime: See this is what I don’t get about you: You’re the God of War, the general of the Heavenly Army, how can you be so shameless? Can’t you please act like a god? You’re really embarrassing us, other gods, you know!

Erlang: Wuwuwu… I’ll never do it again…

Prime: Hmph! I don’t want to waste my time on this any more than necessary! So do not ever let me catch anyone talking shit about my disciple again! @Erlang you may apologize now. And be very sincere about it! Stop making us gods look bad!

Erlang: Yes yes yes… I’ll throw in a big Red Envelope here as an apology to Chen…

DING!

[Erlang is sending a Red Envelope to the group!]

“Oh gosh, after getting apologies I’m still getting Red Envelopes! That’s mine!” Chen was monitoring the chat in silence. But as soon as he saw the Red Envelope, he tapped to receive it.

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired Erlang’s Red Envelope. Received 10 God of War’s Body Strengthening Pills. Already stored in your treasure chest![

“God of War’s Body Strengthening Pills? The name alone sounds like it is perfect for physical stage cultivators!” Chen’s eyes lit up. He has been trying hard to increase his strength. If these pills do exactly what he thinks they do, that would be awesome!

DING!

Lord Yanwang: I shall also lead my fellow colleagues in purgatory and send out some Red Envelopes as an apology to Chen.

Chen was already more than happy when he received Erlang’s pills and didn’t expect any more. Following Lord Yanwang’s lead, Ox-head and Horse-face, both Black and White of Impermanence, along with many other residents of Purgatory sent out Red Envelopes into the group as well.

“I tap! I tap! I tap tap tap!” Chen’s fingers kept tapping fast on his phone as he tried his best to get more Red Envelopes.

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired Black Impermanence’s Red Envelope. Received one Nightstalker outfit. Already stored in your treasure chest!]

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired Ox-head’s Red Envelope. Received 10 Unholy Spirit Pills. Already stored in your treasure chest!]

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired White Impermanence Red Envelope. Received one Art of Disguise. Already stored in your treasure chest!]

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired Shennong’s Red Envelope. Received one Shennong’s Hundred Herb Pill. Already stored in your treasure chest.]

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired Hundred Herbs Holy Magistrate’s Red Envelope! Received one Fairy Fertilizer. Already stored in your treasure chest.]

“Holy f*ck, I’m on a roll today! A double kill! Feels like I’m beyond godlike!” Chen was thrilled beyond words. Before this, it took him a lot of effort just to try getting one Red Envelope. But today alone, he had already gotten six in total!

“Luck! That’s it! This has got to do with my increase in luck stats! I just killed Wen Tiandou today and raised my luck to 7000! Hahaha… Killing villains is so awesome!” Just when he was already on cloud nine, another surprise came.

DING!

[Bull Demon King has sent you a Red Envelope!]

“Awww… This fella actually sent one to me personally!” Chen smiled.

Bull Demon King: Chen, since I am not as rich as the other deities, I couldn’t afford to spam the group. So I sent you one personally. I hope you can accept my apology.

Chen: It’s okay, I am a forgiving person~

Bull Demon King: Haha, that’s great! Please accept the private Red Envelope. That little guy is very obedient!

Chen: What little guy? (confused emoji)

Bull Demon King: Take a look at it! (Mysterious emoji)

Chen quickly accepted the private Red Envelope.

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired Bull Demon King’s Red Envelope. Received one Spirit Beast: Frosty Jade Lion. Already stored in your treasure chest.]

“Holy f*cking cow! A Frosty Jade Lion!” Chen almost bit his tongue. “I have no idea what that is, but the name alone sounds awesome! Next time I’ll bring it along with me, and when I see my enemies, I’ll have it slap them down with one strike! That would be awesome! Wakaka…” Trying hard to contain his excitement, Chen opened his treasure chest and looked for the Spirit Beast.

DING!

[Frosty Jade Lion: A mysterious Spirit Beast from the Forest of Ten Thousand Beasts. Still a cub and needs proper care. Would you like to retrieve it?]

“Huh? Just a baby? What the hell…” Chen was disappointed. “Well, even if it’s just a baby, it should still look cool right? Let’s take it out and have a look.” Chen tapped on his phone and a radiant beam of light shot out from it. The light quickly took form and turned into… A cat with milky white fur, that’s no larger than his palm. Staring at the cute little thing that appeared to be sleeping on his lap, Chen became confused. “This… This is a f*cking lion? I don’t read a lot of books, but please don’t lie to me…” Chen’s eyebrows twitched. This cute little fuzz ball was definitely not the ferocious and awesome lion he was expecting!

“Wow! What a cute little kitty!” Wenyuan screamed as she flew towards the cat. Young girls like her have little to no resistance against cute things after all. But when she got closer, the white ball of fur’s eye opened! Its sapphire eyes glowed with strong energy exuding the strength, ferocity, and domineering will of a king of the jungle!

“Yikes! Scary!” Wenyuan was shocked and darted behind Chen. Even Xiangyu, who was also busy trying to grab Red Envelopes looked up. “My god! Bro Bei! Where’d you get this Spirit Beast from?”

“Uhh… It was a gift from the Bull Demon King…” Chen was still flustered by the cat’s sudden outburst of energy.

“Quick! Bond with it! Once you miss the timing and let it awaken into its feral instincts, you won’t be able to control it anymore!” Xiangyu said anxiously.

“Bond? Right! I got it!” Chen quickly placed his pinder on the head of the kitten and mentally recited the Scriptures of Heaven and Earth-like how he did with the Chaos Sword, imprinting his aura on the cat and establishing a special bond with it.

Hmmm…

The oppressive energy that was coming from the cat’s eyes gradually subsided. It then licked its lips and looked at Chen while rubbing its head against his finger like a cute, docile, domesticated kitten.

“Gosh, this little furball is so cute!” Wenyuan’s eyes sparkled. She went over and petted it.

“Prrr…” The white kitten did not reject her petting, but gave her a look of contempt, as if not giving a f*ck about whatever she says.

“What a snob…” Wenyuan pouted.

“Hmm? Xiaobai? Do you have Yinyang eyes too? Can you see Wenyuan?” Chen asked. The little guy shot him a disgusted look as if it did not like the name Chen gave it. But since it could not reply in human language, it just nodded.

“It really is a Spirit Beast! Just a baby and already has yin-yang eyes.” Chen said in amazement. “Purrr~” Xiaobai merely chinned up with a proud look on its tiny cute face, as if telling Chen “Of course!” Chen happily held it up with both hands said, “It may be a little small, but it’s still a Spirit Beast! And thanks to my sifu, not only did I manage to get off scot-free from this spicy stick scandal, I even benefited out of it! This just feels great!”

“Yes, it is… Thanks to the Prime. If not for him, I would have really caused you trouble…” Xiangyu was still very remorseful.

“What’s done is done, Bro Yu you don’t have to blame yourself any longer! Although I can’t sell spicy sticks anymore, there are still many other ways to get merit points, so it’s not a big deal!” Chen said while thumping his chest. “We are brothers in arms who have been through thick and thin! My merit points are yours! Starting from today, we’ll work hard and earn more merit points! Whether it is 300,000 or even 3 million points, that’s not a problem!”

“Brother…” Xiangyu was too touched. “Damn! This is so righteous! So brotherly! My decision to reincarnate as a girl for you was the best decision I have ever made! I got a great brother like you from all that!”

“God… You two are so gay…” Wenyuan teased.

“Just what do you know? This is how real bonds are made: after going through hardships together!” Xiaobei said in a serious tone. “A real man not only protects his woman, he also fights for his brothers!” he continued.

“Well said! A good brother is worth fighting and dying for! No regrets!” Xiangyu’s cute face brightened up as she became spirited by Chen’s words.

Chen dropped Xiangyu off at the campus, and after her incessant begging, gave her the Nutbuster Manual. After that, he made his way home. Upon his return, he saw mother busying herself in the garden. She had dug up three holes in the ground, obviously planning to plant the peaches there.

“Didn’t I get some fertilizer from the group today? I wonder what’s it used for?” Chen suddenly remembered and opened his treasure chest.