Samsara Online

Chapter 485: Shen Xinya’s life experience

Shen Xinya’s words sounded as if she was really proud to be Xie Feng’s first true love. However, only those who knew the full story of the destiny involving her and him knew that in reality, Shen Xinya was not only proud of being Xie Feng’s first love but was also proud of having met him first.

To many, the fact that she was proud just for meeting him first was probably silly and meaningless; but to someone like Shen Xinya whose songs were mostly about love and destiny, the fact that she met Xie Feng first compared to any other girl meant that the destiny she shared with him was way stronger than any other girl could ever share!

Xie Yao and Gu Qianxue naturally understood all these facts, and so, as they exchanged glances, they couldn’t help but smile with a hint of bitterness in their eyes. After all, the story of Xie Feng and Shen Xinya was simply similar to the story of a fairy tale with a happy ending.

They both met as children in an orphanage, were separated by circumstances beyond their power, and many years later, regardless of what kind of identities each of them had, life brought them back together as if it could no longer bear to see their souls being separated.

The story of the two of them was really like a fantasy story if one thought about it carefully and had enough details.

However, to the ears of Yue Kai and the others, Shen Xinya’s words simply took them by surprise without being able to see the feelings and reason behind each of them.

"Goddess Shen, what do you mean?" Hu Chen asked dumbfounded.

Instead of answering immediately, Shen Xinya looked at Xie Feng as if asking for his opinion and permission about something. He, understanding what she wanted to say next, nodded slightly indicating to her not to worry about anything and continue at will; he would be there to support her.

Getting their approval, Shen Xinya looked at the people in front of her but her eyes seemed to look beyond, and as if lost in her own world, she began to narrate a quick summary of her past life for all to know.

"When I was born, I apparently had some sort of strange disease that didn’t allow me to move even a single muscle of my body. Forget about walking, opening my mouth to eat was impossible and except for my sense of touch I had nothing else."

Everyone’s pupils trembled fiercely upon hearing those words. Even Gu Qianxue looked at Shen Xinya in disbelief because she knew better than anyone else how horrible it was to not have the sense of sight.... Little did she expect that the person she admired so much for her beautiful voice and who had not long ago become her sister, actually experienced something countless times worse than her during childhood!

Xie Feng’s mouth opened slightly for a second before a bitter smile automatically formed on his face... He hadn’t expected her to tell that story which only a handful knew so casually in front of a group of people she had just met.

"I know it’s weird what I will say but I can remember every feeling I experienced from the moment I was born. Even to this day I remember the warm feeling of being inside my mother’s womb and her longing during those nine months of pregnancy... However, once I was born, everything changed." Shen Xinya paused and took a sip of fruity tea before calmly continuing, "Once she welcomed me into her arms, although I don’t know what she said nor did I see her reaction because of that particular disease I was born with, I do remember feeling her whole body tremble with sadness. It probably happened after the doctors examined me and gave her the bad news."

"At first, even though I couldn’t see or hear, I could feel my parents’ concern for me. But as time went on, my father no longer visited my room as often as he used to and by the time I was three years old my mother gradually reduced the time she spent with me as well."

While everyone was silent and staring at Shen Xinya in total shock, Xie Feng reached out his hand and placed it on her right thigh. But just as he was about to say to her that she didn’t need to continue, she shook her head and smiled slightly.

Xie Feng stared into her eyes for several seconds and it was only after making sure that there really was 0 pressure on her that he decided to let her continue. Nevertheless, he did not take his hand off her leg and instead lightly squeezed her hand that was now resting next to his.

"It was around that time when for some reason my sense of hearing came to me for the first time... I think by that time I was four years old. Once I could hear, it was as if a new world opened up in front of me and I was very happy, happiness which I could not express and which did not last long anyway. With my sense of hearing now completely healthy and even understanding Mandarin Chinese perfectly as if I had spoken it all my life, I could finally hear my parents’ voices for the first time." Shen Xinya paused for a moment and her lips curved into a scornful sneer before continuing.

"Different from what many children hear for the first time in their lives, what I heard was my father’s anger-filled voice and my mother’s exhausted voice. At that moment it was really hard for me to accept what I was hearing but just as you get used to love you also get used to hate; even if that hate comes from your parents. The arguments and crying became more and more normal to the point where it became routine for me and no longer affected me..."

"About 6 months after my sense of hearing finally began to work, my mother finally gave in to my father’s insistence, and in a matter of days, that bed I had spent my whole life in was changed to a far less comfortable one and the sheets that usually smelled fragrant had been replaced by ones that smelled musty and old."

"Of course, the me at that time despite being barely four years old was actually much smarter than my actual age suggested, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that my parents had given me up to an orphanage to give me up for adoption." Shen Xinya chuckled and said in a joking tone, "But I can’t blame them either. At the end of the day, the baby they were expecting far from bringing them closer was only breaking up their marriage and doing nothing but causing problems in their lives."

However, no one laughed at her words. Moreover, Shen Xinya seemed to realize that just because she was indifferent to what she was telling did not mean that Xie Feng was also indifferent even though he already knew her story.

Looking next to her and seeing him clench his teeth so tightly that his jaw was outlined to perfection, Shen Xinya leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek before continuing her narrative:

"Anyway. Time passed and although at first there were a few children who approached me it didn’t take long for them to get bored. After all, what child would want to stay bored all day with a person who couldn’t even open her eyes, let alone answer their questions? I think the one that endured the longest was for about 9 days before giving up and not coming back. So, for about six years my life was spent in loneliness and as boring as ever." Shen Xinya paused to look at Xie Feng and her eyes were filled with an impossible-to-hide tenderness as she said softly, "That was until when I turned ten years old and a boy with no memory of his past appeared, just like a blank sheet of paper."

Xie Feng sighed and asked Shen Xinya to pause before looking at everyone and calmly saying, "I have no memories of my life below the age of ten. All I know is that when I opened my eyes I was standing at the door of the orphanage where I met Xinya. Maybe it was because I could get along with others or maybe it was because of something else.... But even when I didn’t get any reply from her, I still visited Xinya every day and tried to communicate with her."

"Although most of the time you were silent." Shen Xinya interrupted with a smile.

Xie Feng looked at her and growled under his breath, " You little devil, what was I supposed to talk about when I couldn’t even remember my birthday?"

"Hehe... That’s true too."

Xie Feng shook his head and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He looked at the rest and continued slowly, "Even though neither of us exchanged managed to strike up a real conversation for several months, I still remember that an invisible bond had formed between the me of back then and Xinya. It’s hard to explain and probably even harder to understand, but even without memories I felt that I wanted to and should stay by her side to be her company in her rough times."

Shen Xinya smiled slightly and seizing the opportunity took the reins again, "It was only a few months after Xiao- Xie Feng’s constant visits that for the first time I managed to open my eyes..."