Secretly, But Unable to Hide It

Chapter 28

The graduation ceremony was held in the gymnasium.

However, as the ceremony time hadn’t arrived yet, most people stayed outside to take photos. Duan Jiaxu, being very popular and good-tempered, was pulled by many people to take pictures, leaving him no time to pay attention to Sang Zhi.

She did not intend to disturb him and wanted to go back to find her parents, but due to the crowd, she had no idea where they had gone.

Duan Jiaxu was worried she might get lost or pushed around by the crowd. In the end, he simply pulled her to his side, instructing her to stay close and not wander off.

He did not mind that she ended up in the photos.

Sang Zhi felt like she had become his little tail, with eyes that couldn’t help but sneak peeks at him.

Duan Jiaxu was wearing the standard black graduation gown today, the large robe making his figure appear even slimmer and taller, exuding a noble and aloof demeanor. His skin was a cool, pale white, and his features were sharp and distinct. His smile carried an inexplicable charm, so attractive that it was hard to look away.

Sang Zhi could feel that many girls were looking at him.

Maybe feeling uncomfortable, Duan Jiaxu did not wear his graduation cap, instead holding it casually in his hand. Later, when he noticed the strong sunlight, he placed the cap on Sang Zhi’s head.

The graduation cap was a bit large and kept falling, blocking Sang Zhi’s view.

Seeing this from the corner of his eye, Duan Jiaxu immediately adjusted it for her, laughing, “What are you thinking about? Hold it yourself. Or do you want Brother to keep holding it for you?”

Sang Zhi replied with an “Oh” and adjusted the cap herself.

But it still kept falling, so she took it off and handed it back to Duan Jiaxu. “Brother, I don’t want to wear it.”

“Hmm?” Duan Jiaxu looked down at her. “Isn’t it too sunny?”

“It’s sunny.” Sang Zhi pointed to her head, a bit frustrated. “But it keeps falling.”

“Stand in front of Brother.”

Sang Zhi obediently complied, hesitantly asking, “Why?”

Duan Jiaxu raised his hand to fix the cap, chuckling, “Brother will hold it for you.”

“……”

“We can’t let our little Sang Zhi get sunburned.”

The two of them, one tall and one short, stood in front of each other, surrounded by people in graduation gowns.

Duan Jiaxu held the bouquet Sang Zhi had brought and the graduation cap that should have been on his head was now on hers.

When someone asked about it, Duan Jiaxu smiled and said, “This is my sister.”

Thus, Sang Zhi appeared in many of Duan Jiaxu’s graduation photos as his ‘sister’. She never saw those photos or had the courage to ask for them.

Sang Zhi suddenly felt a bit grateful.

Thankfully, she wore a beautiful dress today.

After the graduation ceremony, Sang Zhi went home with her parents.

Sang Yan and Duan Jiaxu went out to dinner with their friends. That night, Sang Yan returned home around midnight, bringing Duan Jiaxu with him.

Strictly speaking, it was Duan Jiaxu who brought Sang Yan back.

Sang Zhi had already been asleep but was woken up by the noise. She got up curiously to check.

In the living room, she saw Sang Yan sitting on the sofa, obviously drunk. Sang Rong was scolding Sang Yan while also not forgetting to talk to Duan Jiaxu.

Li Ping was in the kitchen making hangover soup.

Noticing Sang Zhi, Sang Rong looked over. “Zhizhi, did we wake you?”

Sang Zhi rubbed her eyes and shook her head silently.

“Look at your brother. How much did he drink to end up like this?” Sang Rong frowned. “By the way, Zhizhi. This brother is staying at our house tonight. Go find a new towel and toothbrush for him.”

Duan Jiaxu immediately declined, “I don’t want to bother you.”

“What’s the bother?” Sang Rong patted his arm. “Go freshen up. You’ve had a long day, no need to stay outside.”

At the next moment, Sang Zhi walked over to him and said, “Brother, follow me. I’ll get them for you.”

Duan Jiaxu didn’t refuse again, nodding. “Thank you.”

Sang Zhi took Duan Jiaxu to Sang Yan’s room and found him a set of pajamas. Then she suddenly stopped. “Brother, I don’t know where the underwear is. Should I ask my mom?”

“……” Duan Jiaxu replied, “Just get Brother a towel and toothbrush.”

“Oh.” Sang Zhi led him to the bathroom and pointed to the cabinet above. “There are new ones in that cabinet. You can get them yourself.”

“Okay.”

“Brother,” Sang Zhi said as she left the bathroom, “did you drink alcohol?”

Duan Jiaxu replied, “No.”

“Really?” Sang Zhi looked at his face and hesitantly said, “If you did, I’ll ask my mom to make some hangover soup for you too.”

“I really didn’t drink.” Duan Jiaxu smiled. “Brother doesn’t drink.”

Thinking for a moment, Sang Zhi went back into the bathroom and pointed to the toiletries. “Brother, this is shampoo, conditioner, this is body wash, and this is facial cleanser. There’s also a razor here— you can use them all.”

Duan Jiaxu patted Sang Zhi’s head, his eyes softened and his lips curled into a smile.

“Got it. Thank you, little Sang Zhi.”

Sang Zhi nodded and left the bathroom.

She saw that only Sang Yan was left in the living room and that Sang Rong had gone to help Li Ping in the kitchen.

Remembering what had just happened, Sang Zhi ran to Sang Yan’s side, pushing his arm. “Brother.”

Sang Yan struggled to open his eyes. “What?”

“Go to your room and get a new pair of underwear.” Sang Zhi whispered, “Brother Jiaxu is taking a shower, you need to get it for him.”

“……”

“Hurry up!”

Sang Yan muttered, “It’s in the small cabinet inside the wardrobe, you go get it for him.”

Sang Zhi felt uncomfortable, “…… How can I do that?”

Sang Yan closed his eyes again, ignoring her.

Seeing Sang Yan’s uncomfortable state, Sang Zhi didn’t say anything more. She refilled his empty water cup with warm water. “Brother, drink some water.”

Sang Yan didn’t respond.

“Remember to drink.” She said while getting up. “Why drink alcohol so much……”

Sang Zhi went to Sang Yan’s room, opened the small cabinet he mentioned, and took out a new underwear. Scratching her head, she walked to the bathroom door and knocked.

The sound of water immediately stopped. “Is someone knocking?”

“Brother, I…… I’ve hung it on the door. Take it yourself.”

After saying that, Sang Zhi quickly returned to her room.

She didn’t go out again and only heard the noises from outside. About an hour later, Sang Zhi fell back asleep amidst the sounds.

She woke up again because of thirst.

It was still dark, the world quiet. Sang Zhi got up to get a glass of water in the living room.

Being careful not to wake her parents, she kept her movements small. As she passed the living room on her way back, she noticed someone on the balcony.

Sang Zhi’s footsteps stopped.

She quickly realized it was Duan Jiaxu.

He was sitting on the balcony chair with the sliding door closed, smoking. He hadn’t noticed Sang Zhi as his head was tilted back, Adam’s apple moving slowly, smoke swirling in the moonlight.

Sang Zhi couldn’t see his expression.

But she inexplicably felt that he was in a bad mood.

Hesitating, Sang Zhi walked over.

Duan Jiaxu noticed her out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look at her and his brows raised as he smiled. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

Through the sliding door, his voice was soft.

Sang Zhi cautiously pushed the door open, whispering, “Brother, you can’t sleep?”

Duan Jiaxu stubbed out his cigarette, lazily saying, “Yeah, Brother can’t sleep well in an unfamiliar bed.”

“Lie down for a bit and you’ll fall asleep.” Sang Zhi suggested. “Or you can sleep on the sofa in my brother’s room. I remember you used to sleep there often.”

“Okay.” Duan Jiaxu’s expression was gentle. “It’s late, go back to sleep.”

Sang Zhi didn’t move, softly asking, “Brother, are you in a bad mood?”

Duan Jiaxu hummed. “A little.”

Sang Zhi was silent for a few seconds, not asking him why. “I’ll get you some water.”

She had just taken a couple of steps when Duan Jiaxu spoke again.

Maybe it was the night that made him want to talk.

“Little Sang Zhi, Brother will tell you a secret.” Duan Jiaxu looked up at her, his peach-blossom eyes curving into a beautiful smile. “Brother has a lot of creditors.”

“……” Sang Zhi paused and turned back. “Do you owe a lot of money?”

Duan Jiaxu smiled. “Not money.”

He thought for a moment, then said, “But it could also be considered money.”

“Is it a lot?” Sang Zhi didn’t know what to say, so she could only whisper, “Brother, don’t worry. When I grow up, I’ll help you pay it all back.”

Duan Jiaxu was stunned for a moment, then quickly laughed, his breath shallow.

This time, Sang Zhi could clearly feel that his mood seemed to have improved.

After a while, he affectionately pinched Sang Zhi’s cheek. “Thank you, little Sang Zhi. But those aren’t really Brother’s debts, you don’t need to help me pay them.”

“……”

“The money you earn in the future,” Duan Jiaxu said, “should be used to buy pretty dresses for yourself.”

———pr

The next day, Duan Jiaxu took the earliest flight back to Yihe.

Sang Zhi thought that was probably the last time he would come to Nanwu. Because he no longer had any reason to come, completely leaving the campus behind, and fully integrating into society.

Everyone continued living their orderly lives.

At the beginning of July, Sang Zhi’s high school entrance exam results came out and she successfully got into the city’s number-one high school. Before school started, she received a new bag from Duan Jiaxu as a reward for getting in.

In reality, Duan Jiaxu was very far away from her.

But sometimes, it made her feel as if he was everywhere.

After the start of high school, Sang Zhi discovered that Fu Zhengchu had also gotten into the same school and happened to be in the same class as her. The two hadn’t spoken for a long time, and she remembered Fu Zhengchu’s previous confession, so she didn’t dare to take the initiative to talk to him.

However, it was Fu Zhengchu who came over to greet her, without any psychological barrier.

Sang Zhi was relieved because of it.

During the winter vacation of her first year in high school, Fu Zhengchu used the excuse of doing homework together to invite Sang Zhi out and confessed to her again. This time, the young boy was no longer as uncertain as before, but still nervous.

“Sang Zhi, I like you. If you’re willing to be my girlfriend now, that would be great. If not, I’ll ask again in three years.”

When she heard his words, Sang Zhi was a little dazed.

Her first reaction was actually to recall the time when she was thirteen, after Fu Zhengchu’s first confession, when Duan Jiaxu suddenly appeared and lectured her.

——”Having such thoughts during adolescence is normal. But don’t hurt others. You can thank them for their feelings first, then reject them.”

There was a long silence.

“Thank you for liking me.” Sang Zhi said seriously, looking into his eyes. “But I have someone I like, so I can’t accept it.”

“……”

“You’re a great person, thank you.”

Fu Zhengchu scratched his head and sighed, “I knew I would be rejected again.”

Sang Zhi felt a bit awkward.

“I didn’t plan to keep liking you,” Fu Zhengchu said, “but I just can’t find a girl prettier than you. What can I do?”

“……”

“Forget it.” Fu Zhengchu thought for a moment and asked, “Can I ask who the person you like is?”

Sang Zhi shook her head silently.

“Is he more handsome than me?”

Recalling Duan Jiaxu’s words not to hurt others, Sang Zhi waved her hand vaguely. “Don’t ask.”

“……”

Sang Zhi thought it would always be like this.

Her secret love would continue.

Then, as long as she worked hard enough now, she should be able to get into Yihe University, and three years later, she would go to the city where Duan Jiaxu was.

But life always has its variables.

Not everything could go as planned.

In the second semester of her first year, during the Qingming holiday, Sang Zhi heard some news from Sang Yan.

At that time, she was about to go to the bathroom, and when passing by Sang Yan’s room, she heard him talking on the phone with a friend and casually saying, “Damn, Duan Jiaxu has a girlfriend now?”

Sang Zhi immediately stopped in her tracks.

But after that, she didn’t hear Sang Yan mention Duan Jiaxu’s name again.

Her mind went blank and she stood there in a daze for a long time.

Sang Zhi didn’t return to her room but went to the living room, pretending to watch TV. Then, when Sang Yan came out, she casually asked, “Brother, is Brother Jiaxu dating someone?”

“Huh?” Sang Yan took an apple from the fridge. “Seems like it.”

Sang Zhi’s eyes stayed on the TV, and she responded slowly, not saying anything more.

When Sang Yan returned to his room, she turned off the TV and went back to her room. Sang Zhi picked up her phone from the table, opened WeChat, and found Duan Jiaxu’s account.

She bit her lip and slowly typed a line.

【Brother, I heard from my brother that you’re dating someone?】

Sang Zhi stared at this line of words for a long time but eventually deleted it. She lay down on the bed, looking at the plush toys Duan Jiaxu had given her, and felt a sting in her eyes.

It can’t be true.

It must be fake.

Sang Zhi looked at the picture of Yihe University she had stuck on the wall. She rubbed her eyes hard and forced herself to forget about it, then got up to study.

She had told Duan Jiaxu that before he got a girlfriend, he had to let her see her first.

He had agreed.

He would tell her.

Even though Sang Zhi thought so, she couldn’t concentrate in class for the next few days. She kept thinking about Sang Yan’s words, and whenever she saw couples being affectionate, she thought of Duan Jiaxu.

She wondered if he was like that when he was dating.

Such a gentle person would definitely be good to his girlfriend.

But Sang Zhi didn’t dare to ask.

She was afraid of getting a definite answer.

The longer it dragged on, the more this state of hers worsened.

At the end of April, Sang Zhi did the most outrageous thing she had ever done in her sixteen years of life.

That day, after school, Sang Zhi ran home, broke the piggy bank she had prepared for Duan Jiaxu, and took the money inside. She then went to her parents’ room to steal her ID card.

Afterward, Sang Zhi went to a nearby ticket office and bought a ticket for the next day’s noon flight to Yihe. The next day, she packed her school bag, said goodbye to her parents as usual, and went out the door.

But Sang Zhi didn’t get on the usual bus. She went to a nearby KFC, changed out of her school uniform, and then took a taxi to Nanwu Airport.

This was Sang Zhi’s first time flying alone.

The first time she traveled so far by herself.

Three hours later, Sang Zhi got off the plane.

She hadn’t checked the weather before coming. Yihe was much colder than Nanwu, so she was shivering in her long hoodie. She finally turned her phone back on.

She saw dozens of missed calls.

All from her family.

Sang Zhi, feeling guilty and scared, found Sang Yan’s number and called back with a pounding heart.

He picked up immediately, his voice anxious, “Sang Zhi?”

Sang Zhi responded with a hum.

“Where did you go? Your teacher said you weren’t at school, it’s so late now.”

“Brother.” Sang Zhi spoke slowly, “I’m in Yihe City.”

“……”

Sang Zhi lied, “My former online crush asked me to come.”

“……” The other end was silent as if suppressing anger. After a long while, Sang Yan spoke word by word, “Where are you in Yihe now?”

“At the airport.”

“Find a spot and stay put. I’ll have Duan Jiaxu come over first.” Sang Yan said coldly, “If you dare go find that so-called online crush of yours, just see if I don’t beat you to death when you get back.”

“Got it.”

Sang Zhi lowered her eyes and entered the airport building.

She found a seat and sat down, staring blankly into space and feeling a bit lost. She knew what she was doing was wrong, and that her actions would worry everyone.

But she just couldn’t help it.

Sang Zhi continued to receive calls from Sang Rong and Li Ping, who were both anxious and angry. They didn’t scold her anymore, just told her to be safe.

She didn’t know how much time had passed when her phone rang again.

This time, it displayed Duan Jiaxu’s number.

She answered it in silence.

“Where are you?” Duan Jiaxu asked, his tone clearly angry and cold.

Sang Zhi looked around and whispered, “By the bench near Exit T3.”

Soon, she saw Duan Jiaxu come into view.

It had been almost a year since they last met. He looked more mature but his face was currently expressionless. He was wearing a shirt and dress pants, his coat draped over his arm.

It was clear he had rushed over.

Sang Zhi’s gaze shifted and she noticed a very beautiful woman beside him.

She immediately lowered her eyes.

Duan Jiaxu’s gaze swept the area and quickly found her. He exhaled, walked over quickly, squatted down in front of her, and wrapped his coat around her without saying a word.

Sang Zhi couldn’t speak either. From the corner of her eye, she could see the woman’s bright red high heels.

Duan Jiaxu’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he chuckled angrily. “Online crush?”

“……”

“Do you not remember what I told you before?” Duan Jiaxu’s tone was harsh. “Sang Zhi, have you grown up now? Daring to run off to such a far place by yourself?”

Sang Zhi raised her head and stared at Duan Jiaxu, then she turned to look at the beautiful woman. She wanted to say something but was unable to utter a word.

She wanted to ask him.

Have you really found a girlfriend?

Didn’t you say you would tell me?

Did you think it’s okay to lie to me just because I’m young?

But Sang Zhi didn’t dare to really ask.

“Speak.” Duan Jiaxu said.

The woman beside him couldn’t help but interject, “Jiaxu, don’t be so harsh on the girl.”

Duan Jiaxu acted as if he hadn’t heard her, still staring at Sang Zhi.

Sang Zhi, holding back a lump in her throat, slowly said, “I’m sorry.”

“Did he ask you to come over?” Duan Jiaxu asked.

“I came on my own.”

“Did you meet him?”

“Mm.” Sang Zhi whispered. “He thought I was too young.”

“……” Duan Jiaxu’s brows relaxed a little. “Has he left?”

“Mm.”

“Sang Zhi, what he did was right. You’re still too young now.” Seeing how pitiful she looked, Duan Jiaxu’s anger gradually subsided. “It’s not appropriate, you understand?”

Sang Zhi looked at him, her eyes gradually reddening. “But I will grow up.”

She murmured, repeating, “I will grow up……”

“Then wait until you grow up, alright?”

“But he will……” Sang Zhi’s tears began to fall as she choked back her sobs. “He will like someone else.”

It was something she couldn’t stop, no matter what she did.

Sang Zhi suddenly remembered a year ago, when she saw him smoking on the balcony of her house. At that time, he looked so lonely and hopeless.

And now, there was another person standing by his side.

Maybe she shouldn’t be so selfish.

He was such a good person.

He deserved to have someone else’s companionship.

Why should he wait for her?

In two years, he would be twenty-five. If he met the right person, wouldn’t he be considering marriage by then too? He couldn’t stay single forever.

Then, wouldn’t he be a bit happier?

Seeing her like this, Duan Jiaxu couldn’t bring himself to stay angry. He didn’t know how to comfort her, so he just patted her on the head. “When our little Sang Zhi grows up, you’ll definitely meet someone better.”

After a few seconds of silence, Sang Zhi pulled a box out of her bag, her lips moving.

The affectionate term ‘Brother’ had become hard to say as she grew older. With her head lowered, she softly called, “Brother Jiaxu.”

“……”

“I brought you your birthday gift.” Sang Zhi said, “I brought it along.”

Duan Jiaxu was stunned for a moment. “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry to trouble you. I won’t do this again.” Sang Zhi’s tears fell silently, her voice trembling, “……I want to wait here for my return flight.”

A secret love was probably the sweetest yet most painful thing in the world.

Sang Zhi suddenly remembered the two dreams she had written down in middle school.

The young girl, with her pure and fervent feelings, had written down dreams she believed she could achieve.

So she worked hard, constantly moving towards that goal.

Then she discovered.

Dreams could also be impossible to achieve.

In the age of budding feelings, she had secretly found a treasure.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t become the one to keep it.