Secretly, But Unable to Hide It

Chapter 39

Watching him, Sang Zhi hesitated for a few seconds. She initially wanted to climb onto his back, but then she seemed to remember something and quickly retracted her hand, speaking seriously, “You can’t carry me.”

Hearing that, Duan Jiaxu turned his head. “This won’t do too?”

Sang Zhi nodded and said to herself, “The doctor said you need to avoid heavy physical labor for three months.”

Duan Jiaxu was slightly taken aback and then smiled. “You remembered that even when you’re drunk?”

As if she hadn’t heard him, Sang Zhi didn’t respond. She just lowered her eyes and slowly counted on her fingers, “You had the surgery in November^[1]十一月 – shí yī yuè. So, December^[2]十二月 – shí èr yuè, thirteen^[3]十三 – shí sān, fourteen^[4]十四 – shí sì……

No, that’s not right.” Feeling something was off, Sang Zhi furrowed her brow. “Twelve^[5]十二 – shí èr, Thirteen……”

Duan Jiaxu couldn’t help but laugh. “Twelve, then one.”

Sang Zhi finally looked at him. Her mind was a tangled mess and she couldn’t understand why it jumped from twelve to one. Hesitantly, she said, “Then…… then how many months is that……? Brother, help me count……”

“Three months.”

Sang Zhi acknowledged with an “Oh”, not sensing anything wrong. She struggled to stand up, sniffing, and asked, “Three months are up…… So you can carry me now?”

Duan Jiaxu smiled. “I can.”

Before Sang Zhi could climb onto his back, she suddenly remembered something else. “But I weigh over eighty pounds……” As she spoke, Sang Zhi started crying again, breaking down, “I weigh over eighty pounds……”

“……”

“And,” she looked down, her expression dazed, her crying more sorrowful, “I have no chest…… I have no chest, wuuwuuwuu…… I have none……”

Duan Jiaxu remained crouched on the ground. He hadn’t expected to hear such words so he was stunned for a few seconds and then laughed heartily. His chest was heaving and he was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. His voice turned hoarse, “What are you saying?”

“Why are you laughing at me?” Sang Zhi sobbed. Pointing at him, she said unhappily, “You don’t have one either, so why are you laughing at me?”

“Mm, I don’t have one either.” Duan Jiaxu immediately restrained his laughter. “So let’s console each other, okay?”

“……” Sang Zhi instantly stopped crying as if she had found an ally and willingly climbed onto his back. “Then, don’t be too sad either.”

Duan Jiaxu stood up, holding back his laughter. “Mm, I’m not sad.”

Sang Zhi wiped her tears with her gloves. “Brother, what if I throw up again later?”

Duan Jiaxu tossed the clothes in his hand into a nearby trash can, glanced around, and gently coaxed, “Just tell me if you feel like throwing up.”

She hiccupped. “What if I can’t hold it back?”

“Then don’t hold it back.” Duan Jiaxu said, “Just don’t throw up on Brother’s head.”

Sang Zhi responded with an “Oh” and said nothing more.

Afraid that she’d feel worse in a car, Duan Jiaxu didn’t get inside and instead carried her toward Yihe University. He casually asked, “You have a flight to catch tomorrow, why did you drink today?”

Sang Zhi rested her chin on his shoulder, speaking softly, “I’m not happy.”

“……”

She was about to cry again and her voice was muffled, “Zhizhi is unhappy.”

Duan Jiaxu tilted his head to look at her. “Why is Zhizhi unhappy?”

Sang Zhi didn’t answer.

Duan Jiaxu looked forward again. In the dim night, his expression was hard to discern. “Is it because of the person Zhizhi likes?”

Sang Zhi wiped her tears again and let out a sound of agreement.

“Can’t you tell me who it is?”

“Mm.”

“Then describe that person to Brother.” Duan Jiaxu’s tone was calm, “What is that person like? Is he nice? Does he treat you well?”

Sang Zhi raised her head, looking at his profile. After a while, she tilted her head and stammered out a word, “M-male……”

She couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Male what?” Duan Jiaxu asked, “Male idol?”

Sang Zhi shook her head, enunciating each word, “Male, male vixen.”

Duan Jiaxu: “……”

What kind of description is that?

“He’s very nice and treats me well.” Sang Zhi’s mood suddenly dropped and she choked up, “But he’s nice to everyone. He treats everyone well……”

“……”

As she said that, Sang Zhi suddenly got angry, her voice rising as she cried and shouted, “A Central! Air! Conditioning^[6]guys who are nice to all girls!”

“A scumbag?” This time Duan Jiaxu didn’t laugh, staying silent for a few seconds before saying, “You like him that much?”

Sang Zhi was genuinely upset. Burying her face in his shoulder, her tears continuously fell and uncontrollable cries came from her throat, like a child.

Duan Jiaxu continued, “He made Zhizhi this sad?”

“……”

His tone was gentle, “Then how about not liking him, okay?”

Sang Zhi didn’t respond, only cried.

Duan Jiaxu didn’t speak again.

He entered Yihe University’s gate, heading toward Sang Zhi’s dorm building based on his previous visits. The crying from the person on his back gradually quieted down until there was no sound. It seemed she had fallen asleep.

The campus at night was quiet yet bustling, with groups of students passing by. The path to the dormitory was lit with warm yellow lights, coloring the falling snowflakes.

It felt like stepping into another world.

Quiet.

So quiet one could hear the sound of falling snow.

Duan Jiaxu suddenly turned to look at Sang Zhi.

She had her eyes closed, seeming to have cried herself to sleep, but tears were still streaming down. Even in sleep, she looked so sad.

Duan Jiaxu called out her name, “Sang Zhi.”

Only silence responded.

Her breathing was steady, brushing against his neck, warm and light.

Duan Jiaxu stared at her for a long time, then suddenly smiled and whispered, “You like that kind of person?”

“……”

“A male vixen?”

“Then,” Duan Jiaxu murmured, “what if I become like that?”

The young woman didn’t move, pulled into a dream by fatigue and sleepiness, unable to hear anything.

“And I’ll only be good to you.” Duan Jiaxu continued, “Then our Zhizhi won’t be so sad, right?

I can’t really trust anyone else to take care of you.

Is that okay?”

“……”

“If you don’t respond, Brother will take it as you agreeing.”

Duan Jiaxu waited for a while. His eyebrows gradually relaxed and he smiled, “Alright, our Zhizhi agreed.

Brother’s conditions aren’t bad.” Duan Jiaxu teased, “I’m not poor anymore and I’m also quite handsome. The only issue is that I’m a bit older than you.

When I was twenty, you said I was old. But if you round it up, you’re almost twenty now too.” He seemed to find this logical, joking, “So, our little Sang Zhi is also old.”

This was the person he had looked after of for many years.

If she could find someone she liked and who would always treat her well, then that would be wonderful.

But he was afraid she’d get hurt in the process.

Like tonight, unable to share her feelings even when drunk.

She was even crying in her sleep.

Duan Jiaxu thought.

Apart from her family, no one else could treat her better than him.

“Brother will earn more money so you can have candy that costs a thousand yuan a piece.” Duan Jiaxu said, “Then forgive Brother…… for planning to have a May-December romance.”

He smiled. “Okay?”

———pr

Sang Zhi vaguely heard Duan Jiaxu wake her up to ask for her dorm room number before carrying her upstairs. He made her a cup of honey water and told her to drink it.

It seemed he also called a girl from the neighboring room to help her change clothes.

Afterward, Sang Zhi climbed into bed and fell asleep. When she woke up again, it was already the next morning. Her head hurt terribly and she sat up in a daze, still somewhat confused.

Last night’s memories rushed back in an instant.

She had said a lot.

She also told him that she liked someone.

However, even though she was drunk, her mouth remained tight and she didn’t seem to have said anything she shouldn’t have.

But.

She! Threw! Up! On! Him!

“……”

Sang Zhi clutched her hair tightly and buried her face into the blanket in frustration. She glanced at her phone and saw several WeChat messages from Duan Jiaxu.

Pressing her lips together, she opened them.

Her other roommates were already awake.

Noticing her movements, they all turned to look at her.

Wang Ruolan, sitting at her desk, looked up at her and gossiped, “Sang Zhi, was the guy who took you home yesterday the one you mentioned before, your brother’s friend?”

Sang Zhi paused and raised her eyes. “Yeah.”

Yu Xin got excited. “Dang, he’s really handsome! When you told us so before, I didn’t quite believe it. But he’s really insanely handsome!”

“Seriously, compared to him, my boyfriend looks like a dinosaur.” Ning Wei clutched her chest. “When we came back yesterday, we thought we’d walked into the wrong room.”

Sang Zhi couldn’t help but ask, “When did he leave?”

“We came back around midnight.” Ning Wei added, “He was sitting in your spot the whole time. He only left when we came back.”

Wang Ruolan chimed in, “He probably stayed to take care of you, worried you wouldn’t feel well.”

Sang Zhi nodded and looked down at her phone.

【Brother #2: I asked your roommates to wake you up at nine.】

【Brother #2: All the tickets for this week are sold out and can’t be changed. You have to get up, or you won’t make it back.】

【Brother #2: Drink more water when you wake up. I’ll come to take you to the airport at ten.】

Sang Zhi replied with, 【Okay】, then glanced at the time. It was past nine. She threw off the blanket and started tidying up her bed, muttering, “If I ever drink again in my life, I’m a dog.”

Yu Xin asked curiously, “What happened?”

Sang Zhi couldn’t bring herself to say it.

Wang Ruolan smiled slyly. “Did you kiss him while you were drunk?”

“No way.” Sang Zhi raised her head abruptly. “Stop talking nonsense.”

“Did you confess to him?”

Sang Zhi pulled off the bedsheet and glanced at them. “If I did that, I’d be going crazy right now.”

Ning Wei asked, “Then what did you do?”

Sang Zhi stopped what she was doing, hesitated for a long time, and finally said, “I threw up on him.”

“……”

The dorm fell silent for a long while.

Yu Xin coughed lightly. “No wonder I smelled something yesterday.”

Wang Ruolan said sympathetically, “I guess your secret love is over.”

Ning Wei added, “How could you not hold it in?”

“I didn’t mean to.” Sang Zhi sighed, the scene flashing back in her mind. She sniffed herself and wrinkled her nose. “Forget it, I’ll apologize to him later.”

Ning Wei remarked, “But he didn’t seem to mind much.”

“He’s that good-natured. Even if I threw up on his head, he probably wouldn’t get mad.” Sang Zhi quickly finished tidying her bed and got down. “I need to take a shower first.”

She grabbed a change of clothes and went into the bathroom.

Just before entering, Sang Zhi could still hear her roommates saying, “What a saint of a man.”

“……”

After showering, Sang Zhi used a hairdryer to dry her hair. Because of the drinking, she didn’t look too good.

She quickly put on light makeup and then opened her suitcase to start packing. She didn’t have much to take home besides her laptop, a few books, and some bedsheets that needed to be changed.

It didn’t take long for her to pack.

At ten o’clock sharp, Sang Zhi said goodbye to her roommates and dragged her suitcase out of the dorm.

Since it was the holiday season, cars were allowed on campus.

As soon as she stepped out of the dorm building, she saw Duan Jiaxu’s car. She walked over slowly, thinking about how to apologize to him.

Soon, Duan Jiaxu got out of the car and walked over to take her suitcase.

Sang Zhi didn’t dare look at him and whispered, “Good morning, Brother.”

Duan Jiaxu responded, “Good morning.”

She didn’t say anything else, planning to apologize properly once they were in the car. She got into the front seat while Duan Jiaxu was placing her suitcase in the trunk. Afterward, he also got in.

Hearing the car door close, Sang Zhi looked over and stammered, “I drank too much yesterday and didn’t feel well……”

Duan Jiaxu looked at her. “Mm.”

“That’s why I couldn’t hold it in.” Sang Zhi found it hard to continue and lowered her head. “I accidentally threw up on you. It was gross…… I’m sorry, Brother.”

He seemed unbothered. “It’s okay.”

As his words fell, Sang Zhi felt him leaning closer. Her breath hitched and she looked up instinctively, meeting his gaze.

Duan Jiaxu had his eyes lowered, staring at her intently. Then he suddenly smiled. He was leaning close to reach for her seatbelt.

However, he didn’t pull back immediately, staying in that position for a few seconds.

“What’s wrong?” Feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, Sang Zhi turned her eyes away. “Oh, I forgot to buckle up……”

Duan Jiaxu finished buckling her seatbelt for her but his eyes remained fixed on her. They were deep and affectionate, with a hint of teasing.

Sensing he was still looking at her, Sang Zhi couldn’t help but ask, “What are you doing?”

Duan Jiaxu sat back properly and buckled his own seatbelt with a faint smile on his face. “Nothing.”

Suspicious, Sang Zhi replied, “Oh.”

The car started.

Sang Zhi glanced at him feeling something was off, but she couldn’t pinpoint what it was. She scratched her head and didn’t think too much about it. She looked at the flight time on her phone. “My flight is at two-thirty. Are we going to the airport now?”

“We’ll get some food first.” Duan Jiaxu said, “Then we’ll head to the airport.”

Thinking about being away for a month, Sang Zhi hesitated but still asked, “Brother, what are your plans for the Spring Festival?”

“Watch the Spring Festival Gala at home.” Duan Jiaxu thought for a moment. “Then wait for a message from little Sang Zhi.”

“……”

Why did that sound so pitiful?

“Well.” Sang Zhi pressed her lips, choosing her words carefully, “You’re already 26 this year. Shouldn’t you have a girlfriend by now? If you have time you could—”

“Where would I find a girlfriend?” As the light turned red, Duan Jiaxu stopped the car, sounding lazy, “Is little Sang Zhi going to introduce one to me?”

Sang Zhi replied incredulously, “Who could I introduce to you? All my friends are my age.”

Hearing her words, Duan Jiaxu turned to look at her, his eyes sweeping over her quickly. He smiled, his gaze ambiguous and gentle. “Your age?”

Sang Zhi guessed he would probably say, ‘Then forget it, you’re just kids.’

She pulled the corner of her mouth and nodded silently.

After a few seconds, Duan Jiaxu raised an eyebrow and chuckled softly.

As the light turned green, he looked away and the car started moving. Sang Zhi heard him murmur, almost imperceptibly, “That’s fine.”

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