Secretly, But Unable to Hide It

Chapter 59

“It’s clearly you—” Sang Zhi felt a bit speechless and stood up as well. “I was just sitting here quietly, why did you lean your face over?”

Duan Jiaxu lowered his eyes, held her hand, and smiled. “I did it on purpose.”

His palm was warm, holding her hand with just the right amount of pressure, sometimes even unconsciously squeezing her fingertips.

Sang Zhi looked at him.

Duan Jiaxu pulled her out of the café. “I wanted to take the opportunity to make you kiss me.”

Sang Zhi pursed her lips and softly responded with an “Oh.”

“How long have you been waiting?” Duan Jiaxu lowered his head, glancing in her direction as he casually asked, “You even finished such a large cup of coffee.”

“Not long. I was playing games and didn’t notice the time.” Sang Zhi replied. “How did you know where I was?”

Duan Jiaxu pointed to the café’s glass window. “I saw you. Next time you come over, just come straight to the company to find me. Or you can call me to come down and get you.”

Sang Zhi nodded.

The two entered a nearby barbecue restaurant and found a place to sit down.

Duan Jiaxu wiped his hands with a warm towel, then poured water into her cup. “You still have one more exam left. When is it?”

“Thursday.” Sang Zhi answered.

“There’s three days left?”

“Mm.” Sang Zhi rubbed her eyes. “So I’m planning to go back to the dorm and take a nap this afternoon. I’ve been staying up late these past few days, I’m exhausted.”

Duan Jiaxu smiled. “Then why did you just drink coffee?”

Sang Zhi replied seriously, “It’s because I wanted to sleep that I drank coffee since it makes me sleepy.”

“What kind of constitution is that?” Duan Jiaxu laughed. “Are you planning to stay up late again?”

“No.” Sang Zhi said, “I have three days to review for the exam, that’s enough time.”

“How did the interview go just now?”

“It was okay, I think I should pass. That company seems to be pretty short on people.” Sang Zhi scratched her head, then suddenly asked, “Brother Jiaxu, did my brother contact you?”

Upon hearing her question, Duan Jiaxu glanced at his phone. “No, why?”

“……”

It seemed like this time it was really serious.

But thinking about how Sang Yan had even gone so far as to block her, Sang Zhi didn’t feel like reconciling with him at all. She took a sip of water, her face expressionless as she said, “We had a fight.”

“What happened?”

“He didn’t agree with me not going home for the summer, and then he said……” Sang Zhi hesitated for a moment, not finishing her sentence. “By the way, have you told my brother about our relationship?”

“No.” Duan Jiaxu said lightly, “I was planning to wait until you returned to Nanwu for the summer, then take a vacation to visit you and tell your brother about it in person.”

“And now?”

“It’ll have to wait until the National Day holiday. We’ll go together. Does that sound sincere enough?” Duan Jiaxu smiled. “I’ll go personally to let him hit me.”

“……He probably won’t.” Sang Zhi said, not very confident.

“It’s okay.” Duan Jiaxu didn’t mind much, his peach blossom eyes slightly narrowed, looking particularly pleased. “I’m quite willing to take that hit.”

After lunch, they strolled around the area to help digest the food they’d eaten. Then Sang Zhi took the subway back to school. It was just after 2:00 when she arrived at the dormitory.

Only Ning Wei was there.

Sang Zhi glanced at the neatly arranged areas of Wang Ruolan and Yu Xin and asked, “Did they leave already?”

“Yeah.” Ning Wei was also packing her things. “They’ve finished their exams. They just came back to pack up their stuff and left. Yu Xin went home and Ruolan is going on a trip with her boyfriend.”

Her other roommates were done with their exams, leaving only Sang Zhi with one elective exam left.

“Where are you going?” Sang Zhi asked.

“My boyfriend rented an apartment outside.” Ning Wei said, “I’m planning to stay with him for the summer, so I won’t be staying in the dorm.”

Sang Zhi let out a sigh, feeling a bit reluctant. “I thought we could keep each other company.”

“You can go find your Brother Duan.” Ning Wei looked up at her with a grin. “By the way, what’s it like being in a relationship? No, I mean, what’s it like being with someone you’ve been secretly in love with for so many years?”

“It’s okay.” Sang Zhi thought for a moment and hesitantly said, “I feel like there’s no difference.”

“Huh?”

“It didn’t feel any different from before we got together…… except for our first day.” Sang Zhi suddenly lifted her left hand, bringing the fingertips of all five fingers together, and touched her lips. “There was this, but other than that, there’s really no difference.”

“Wow.” Ning Wei was surprised. “You two already kissed?”

“……”

“And on the day you got together?” Ning Wei became excited. “It must have been your Brother Duan who made the first move, right? Sure enough, being older really makes a difference.”

“But I feel like I didn’t react properly.” Sang Zhi said softly, “Let me ask you, when you’re with your boyfriend and things get a bit intimate, do you get nervous?”

“A little bit at first.” Ning Wei said, “But I think he was more nervous than I am. My boyfriend is super shy. We were together for a month before he dared to hold my hand, I was so anxious.”

“……”

“Oh, thinking about it now, I realize that my nervousness was totally because of him. He’s loosened up a lot now, though. He even blamed me for a fart he let out.”

Sang Zhi laughed out loud. “What the heck.”

Ning Wei brought the conversation back, “So you get nervous?”

“Mm.” Sang Zhi said, a bit frustrated, “And it makes me look like I’m unhappy…… I’m afraid he’ll misunderstand, so I specifically told him that I really like him.”

“Huh? He probably won’t misunderstand.”

“But I haven’t told him that before.” Sang Zhi said, “I feel like I have to say it, otherwise, he won’t know, right?”

“Really?” Ning Wei blinked. “You should just act normally. You don’t need to be so cautious, explaining everything you do. It’ll get tiring over time.”

“……”

“Are you nervous out of habit because you were afraid he’d find out you liked him before? But now that you’re together, it’s totally natural to show you like him.” Ning Wei added, “I’m saying this because I don’t think you’re the type to be shy.”

Sang Zhi couldn’t help but ask, “Are you complimenting me or insulting me?”

“I’m just saying you should enjoy your relationship, especially since it’s with someone you’ve liked for so long. If it were me, I’d be clinging to him every day, kissing, hugging, and having fun.” Ning Wei closed her suitcase and wiped the sweat off her forehead. “Just saying you like him isn’t enough. You can’t act upset when he kisses you and then says you like him. That’s like giving a slap and then handing over a candy.”

Sang Zhi was silent for a few seconds, then nodded.

“Besides, didn’t you say he originally saw you as a little sister? And you two have quite an age gap. You could put yourself in his shoes. He’s probably accommodating you in everything. If you feel like things are moving too fast, or you don’t like something, he probably wouldn’t push it either.” Ning Wei said, “I’m speaking from experience. My boyfriend was so shy at first that I felt like I was a beast.”

“……”

“Don’t overthink it. There’s always a period of adjustment.” Ning Wei walked over and patted Sang Zhi’s head. “Or, think of it this way, this person is probably the one who’s going to be with you for the rest of your life.”

Sang Zhi was stunned for a moment. “And then?”

“And then?” Ning Wei smiled. “Then just do whatever you want. If he can put up with it, great. If not, too bad. You can’t be walking on eggshells your whole life, right?”

After Ning Wei left, Sang Zhi changed her clothes and got into bed. The sound of the air conditioner was loud in the small dorm room, particularly noticeable in the quiet.

She hugged her pillow, seriously thinking about what Ning Wei had said.

It did make sense.

Under Sang Yan’s influence, her skin was never really that thin, so why did it seem to tear so easily in front of Duan Jiaxu?

There had to be a comparison.

She thought her skin was thicker than Sang Yan’s, but it couldn’t compare to Duan Jiaxu’s.

Sang Yan’s shamelessness couldn’t match Duan Jiaxu’s either.

As she thought about it, a ranking of skin thickness popped into her head—  Duan Jiaxu > Sang Zhi > Sang Yan.

“……”

There was no comparison at all.

And really, there was nothing to feel uneasy about.

The time when she accidentally kissed his cheek earlier today, she felt a bit flustered and unsure of what to do. But now that she thought about it, she felt like she could have just said, “Yeah, I kissed you, so what?”

That would have sounded so bold and confident.

Yeah.

She would do that from now on.

It’s just dating.

It’s just dating!

There was nothing to be nervous about.

After all, she had grown up fighting with boys, never shedding a tear even when she knocked out a tooth. She was fearless, not afraid of anything or anyone. Even Sang Yan had to show her some respect, and people called her ‘Little Tyrant Sang Zhi’.

So what was the big deal about dating, about kissing someone?

She had nothing to be afraid of.

The more Sang Zhi thought about it, the more energized she became, and her sleepiness completely disappeared. She sat up, opened her chat with Duan Jiaxu, and typed, 【Duan Jiaxu.】

A few minutes later, he replied, 【What’s up?】

【Sang Zhi: Do you want to play an escape room game?】

【Duan Jiaxu: Sure.】

【Duan Jiaxu: Do you have a theme in mind?】

【Sang Zhi: There’s a new place near our school with a class reunion theme, not spooky, and it has good reviews.】

【Duan Jiaxu: Sounds good.】

【Duan Jiaxu: Aren’t you supposed to catch up on sleep? Rest for a bit, I’ll call you when I’m outside your dorm.】

After they decided on it, Sang Zhi continued planning by herself, gradually relaxing until she unknowingly fell asleep.

She slept deeply and only woke up to the sound of Duan Jiaxu’s call. The noise made her head hurt and she groggily answered the phone, hearing Duan Jiaxu’s voice on the other end, “Still sleeping?”

She didn’t respond right away and sluggishly asked, “You called to wake me up just to ask if I’m sleeping?”

“……” Duan Jiaxu chuckled. “What are you talking about?”

There was a three seconds of silence.

Sang Zhi slowly came to her senses. “Oh.”

“Remember now?”

“Are you downstairs?”

“Mm.”

There was another few seconds of silence.

Sang Zhi sat up, unable to resist complaining, “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

“No rush.” Duan Jiaxu lazily replied, “Get up now, wash up, change your clothes, put on your shoes, and you’ll be ready to go.”

“……” Sang Zhi lifted the mosquito net and got out of bed. “Okay, wait a minute. I’m hanging up.”

She quickly brushed her teeth in the bathroom, rinsed her face with cold water, and then went back to change her clothes.

Sang Zhi applied some light makeup and tied all her hair up. She grabbed a bag, hooked it on her arm, and took her phone and keys before heading out.

Even with that speed, it still took her nearly twenty minutes.

Worried that Duan Jiaxu might get impatient waiting, Sang Zhi jogged downstairs. As soon as she exited the dorm, she saw him standing under a tree outside. She quickened her pace, hopping over to him.

Hearing the commotion, Duan Jiaxu lifted his eyes.

It seemed like she couldn’t stop in time and bumped into his chest.

He instinctively took a step back, worried she might fall, and immediately placed a hand on her back to steady her. Duan Jiaxu looked a bit surprised but couldn’t help smiling. “So happy today?”

Sang Zhi looked up at him, not moving back, her eyes curving into a smile. “Mm.”

Duan Jiaxu raised an eyebrow.

Sang Zhi stared at him for a few seconds before stepping back two paces. She took out her phone from her bag and blinked. “I thought you were going to scold me for taking so long.”

“It wasn’t that long.” Duan Jiaxu reminded her, “Next time, don’t run down, you might fall.”

Sang Zhi nodded. “I booked the tickets before I fell asleep. We’re scheduled for 8:00 PM and it should take about an hour, so we’ll be done by 9:00. Is that okay? We can go after having dinner.”

Duan Jiaxu took her free hand in his. “Okay.”

After a while, Sang Zhi suddenly called him, “Duan Jiaxu.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Sang Zhi said, testing the waters, “Can I call you that from now on?”

“Sure, call me whatever you want.” Duan Jiaxu habitually squeezed her fingertips, like he was playing with clay, his voice tinged with amusement, “I was wondering when you’d change the way you addressed me.”

“I feel like I should.” Sang Zhi thought for a moment. “Otherwise, adding ‘brother’ every time feels like I’m dating a guardian.”

“……”

“And you’re always bossing me around,” Sang Zhi added, “It makes that feeling even stronger.”

Duan Jiaxu raised an eyebrow. “I boss you around?”

“Don’t you think so? I’ve always wanted to ask you, why do you like taking care of kids so much? Why don’t you just have one of your own?”

Duan Jiaxu couldn’t help but smile. “Alright, we’ll talk about that after you graduate from college.”

“……” His words made Sang Zhi realize this also had something to do with her. “By the time I graduate, you’ll be thirty.”

He expected her to get mad again, but her calm tone caught him by surprise.

“Hmm?”

Sang Zhi seriously added, “You’ll have a child in old age.”

“Who told you that?” Duan Jiaxu was both amused and annoyed. “That only counts if you’re fifty.”

They grabbed a simple meal nearby.

Afterward, Sang Zhi led him to the escape room place.

They found the owner at the front desk, handed over their phones, and listened as he explained the theme’s background. The owner then gave them both student IDs to wear around their necks.

Sang Zhi looked at the name on her ID and then flipped over Duan Jiaxu’s to see his.

Sang Zhi laughed. “Your name is Xiao Hong^[1]Little Red, a Grade 2 Class 1 student. Primary school.”

Duan Jiaxu laughed along with her.

Sang Zhi called out, “Xiao Hong.”

Duan Jiaxu responded good-naturedly, “Here.”

The owner: “……”

Love really does have a stinky smell.

The owner led them into one of the rooms and said, “You have an hour. Here’s the timer, and if you need hints or want to extend the time, just use this pager to let me know.”

Sang Zhi nodded.

After the room was closed and locked from the outside, Sang Zhi felt a bit lost, as she hadn’t played this kind of game before. She started rummaging through things aimlessly. Inside was a small classroom, with some numbers written on the blackboard and items placed on the podium.

On one of the nearby desks were some documents and old class photos.

Sang Zhi found a box with a three-digit lock in one of the desk drawers. She looked at the blackboard, which also had three math problems, and guessed, “Do you think solving the math problems on the board will give us the code for this box?”

Duan Jiaxu glanced at it, took the box from her, and fiddled with the combination lock.

It didn’t take long for the box to open.

Inside were two flashlights.

Sang Zhi was puzzled, “What are these for?”

Duan Jiaxu, playing along with her, gently hinted, “We probably need to turn off the lights. There might be something hidden that can only be seen with these flashlights.”

“Oh.” Sang Zhi felt a bit clueless, but she followed his instructions and went to turn off the lights. “Where should we shine it?”

Duan Jiaxu handed her one of the flashlights. “Try shining it around and see.”

The room was completely dark, with almost no light coming in after the lights were turned off. Sang Zhi turned on the flashlight, which emitted a purple-tinged light, and she casually shone it on the floor, walls, and ceiling.

After searching for a while without finding any clues, Sang Zhi crouched down on the floor. Under the light of the flashlight, she noticed a number appear next to one of the desks near the wall. She wasn’t sure if she was seeing things and stared at it for a few seconds before excitedly saying, “There’s a number here.”

Duan Jiaxu, who was by the podium, came over when he heard that and crouched down beside her. “I found a piece of paper earlier. I think we need four numbers.”

They were both crouching on the floor, very close to each other.

The darkness and small space made the atmosphere feel more intimate. His normal tone of voice strangely sounded like it was whispered into her ear.

Sang Zhi instinctively looked at him, raising the flashlight to illuminate the lower half of his face. In the dim light, she could clearly see his nose and the slight curve of his lips.

She suddenly recalled Ning Wei’s words and quickly lowered the flashlight, standing up.

Duan Jiaxu stood up as well. “Should we look for the other numbers?”

Sang Zhi was silent for a few seconds before replying with something unrelated, “I’m afraid you’d feel nervous so I want to give you a heads up.”

Duan Jiaxu responded casually, “Hmm?”

The atmosphere seemed to freeze.

Soon after, Sang Zhi suddenly blurted out, “I plan to kiss you today.”

Duan Jiaxu’s expression stiffened and he immediately looked in her direction.

“You should prepare yourself first.”

“……”

References[+]