Stranger's Handbook

Chapter 52: A Title Bestowal Ceremony during which We Must Absolutely Not Laugh

The gigantic doors were opening.

Inside this dazzling audience room, the Emperor was sitting on his extravagant chair on the platform, lying in wait.

Her Majesty the Empress was not there……As always, he’s doting on her.

The nobles gathered, anxiously waiting to take one look at the newly born heroes, the newly born duke and duchess.

For the nobles, a duke was a person who’s reached the top.

Such a title bestowal ceremony happened only a few times since the foundation of this nation.

All the nobles in the imperial capital gathered there.

This title bestowal ceremony was indeed majestic.

For us, it was only a loser’s ‘punishment’…………

His Majesty was sitting in his chair, his expression grave.

It couldn’t be helped that only by looking at him we almost started laughing.

(Mom, is it that the Majesty uncle guy likes my pee-pee?)

Bea continued to advance, her entire body trembling.

It was Toto’s final blow.

This important looking old man, sitting over there, likes drinking pee……

I must restrain my thoughts.

(Dad too, you want to drink pee-pee?)

“Pfffu”

I clenched my fists in a desperate attempt to control my outburst through pain.

I’m a drinking buddy of his Majesty!

No, stop! This self-inflicted damage was greater than necessary.

When I got in front of the Emperor, I fell down to one knee and lowered my head.

(I get it now! Once you become a great person, you start drinking pee-pee!)

Damn it Toto, you don’t understand a thing….Right at the moment when her telepathic message arrived into my head, the Prime Minister started talking.

“First, we will read the achievements that led to this title bestowal. Reading official, you can start.”

The assigned reading official……Well, basically it’s an honorary position occupied by a retired civil official noble.

A white-haired old man opened the parchment slowly and started reading.

(Dad! That old man’s hat! It looks like it’s made of hair!)

Involuntarily, we both looked in his direction.

He’s definitely wearing…….a wig……

Please stop! This topic is dangerous.

Bea’s shoulders were trembling.

Being immensely curios about her surroundings, Toto’s telepathic messages didn’t stop from coming into our heads.

(Mom, do human women have many breasts?)

Have ‘many’ breasts? What are they, monsters?…….

Toto was staring at a fat women, who seemed to have four rounds of belly, as she was sitting down, wiping her sweat away.

Those are not breasts, it’s her belly.

In a way, she was indeed a monster.

Somehow, the ceremony was still going on, but nothing of it would enter my head.

The situation in which only Toto’s telepathic messages reached our heads was still on-going.

All about this ceremony looked more and more like a gag…………I’ll be finished.

“A new Duke Household is born in our Grun Empire. I will offer my blessings to them, before the title bestowal.”

A maid was respectfully caring a silver water jug.

The Emperor poured the water in a silver bowl and, with a few tree branches with young leaves, he sprinkled the water over us.

(!? So, people not only drink pee-pee, they also sprinkle it over others!)

Surprised, Toto’s eyes were shining intensely.

Our eyes were shining intensely too.

“Zest, as a duke of our Grun Empire you will swear loyalty towards it and will become my sword.”

“Yes!! I, Zest, swear unyielding loyalty! I’ll become your Majesty’s sword! And I will bring glory to our Grun Empire!”

My oath was filled with weird yells and magical power….It couldn’t be helped.

“Beatrice, as a duchess of our Grun Empire you will swear loyalty towards it and will become my sword.”

“Yes! I, Beatrice! Swear unyielding! Loyalty! I will become your Majesty’s! Sword and I will bring glory to our! Grun Empire.”

Beatrice finished her oath somehow, with a few rather strange articulations.

“I recognize now the birth of a duke and duchess! Glory to our Grun Empire!”

“ “ “ “ “Glory to our Grun Empire!” “ “ “ “

(Is my pee-pee that glorious?)

And so, the title bestowing ceremony finally ended.

“Toto, when I tell you to be quiet, it also means you can’t send telepathic messages, you know?”

“Toto? I understand you can’t stay quiet in a dangerous situation, but otherwise you can, right?”

(Yes, I can!)

Some way or another, the ceremony ended safely.

We couldn’t stand up for a while…………..

We somehow recovered and were now walking towards the evening party grounds.

Once this party was over, it’ll mark the end of a series of exhausting events.

We will return to the Frontier Count’s domain, that I actually missed………Or, we won’t.

Since I will get my own domain now as a duke……..we will ‘return’ there…….

But in this case, where will the marriage ceremony take place? In my domain?

In the imperial capital’s cathedral?

I’ll just discuss it later with Bea.

The evening party was progressing well.

The maids were taking care of Toto, feeding her to her great delight.

You little! You really can be quiet, when you eat, that is.

The nobles gathered in a long line, waiting for me to greet them.

“Well, such wonderful achievements. I want to share your good luck. Oh right! You must definitely meet my daughter…………….”

“Since my domain is really close to the Frontier Count’s, I get along well with his Excellency. From now on, Lord Zest, I will certainly……….”

“I heard about Lord Zest’s military fame. Please, allow me to spar with you………”

They were all saying the same things……..

Don’t introduce me to your daughter! My legal wife is a duchess and my concubine is a princess, you know?

Aren’t you a viscount?…………It’s impossible…..Give up!

As one would expect, there was no fool around who dared to make advances at Bea.

There was only one noble who glared at Bea’s cleavage, but…

Toto sent him away flying.

I finally finished with this handshake ‘party’, and sent Bea off to her room, then immediately returned to mine.

I was reaching my limit.

I’ll go to sleep early tonight too.

Good night………..

The next day, I woke up in a wonderful mood.

No more bed-wetting, nor trespassing maids…..

It was a refreshing morning.

I changed my clothes and took Toto to Bea’s room.

We had plans to eat breakfast together.

We arrived in front of Bea’s room, and greeted the black knights who were guarding it.

“Good work. Is everything in order?”

Obviously, everything was all right; it was just lip service from my part.

“Beatrice-sama……has prepared……..the breakfast……………..”

My refreshing morning seems to have suddenly ended…………..