Volume 1, Chapter 19: Meimei wasn’t happy already
Time, 4.30 am early dawn.
Location, my room.
I used my most serious expression to stare at my blood-related sister, An Xin Ran.
Currently, I had already put on a piece of T-shirt, while Xin Ran also under my strong request placed on her sleeping gown.
She sat on my bed while hugging my pillow as she had a rare expression of unease on her face, while I was sitting on the chair, with my expression like dead water.
Just earlier, my dearest meimei created for me an uniquely permanent black history in my entire lifetime.
“I didn’t think that a man’s there could even urinate out pee after becoming hardened.”
You still had the gall to say it!! If it’s not because my personality was rather composed, and my face rather more thick-skinned, I couldn’t possibly be facing you like that, alright! If it’s some other people, they might even have the thoughts onto suiciding already!
Calm down, be composed, I mustn’t start yelling.
An unplanned loud argument would be completely meaningless, and as long as we converse properly, I’m sure I’ll be able to understand Xin Ran’s inner thoughts.
I changed my usually meek attitude, and used a slightly harsher tone, a punishment-speaking way to begin this talk.
“You’d better sit properly, did you know what you’ve done?”
Of course she knew what she was doing. Rather than that, it’s because she had already knew about it, which was why she would do such things at all.
My meimei’s a bro-con.
Plus she’s an especially severe bro-con.
That status that was shining out pink-colored radiancy was the most direct proof already.
Accepting her would be impossible, be it from a moral logic’s, ethical logic’s, and law’s impossibility. She’s different from Ke Ling who became my meimei thereafter. Xin Ran’s my blood meimei, and we have blood relations with each other.
And so, there was completely no need for any worry at all, and by right I should just resolutely tell her that it was impossible…………but right now it’s already been far too late.
If it was when Xin Ran just started to develop special feelings for me and I had extinguished it, there wouldn’t be that much things happening already then. But the dense me had always never noticed about it……….even five days back I still thought that Xin Ran had hated me.
With the result of it becoming into this state now, of my blood meimei seizing the moment while I was sleeping and did every single thing of what she wasn’t supposed to do at all.
Afterwards, if I was to suddenly say out right now ‘It’s impossible between blood-related siblings, and there won’t be an ending for the both of us.’ these sort of words, Xin Ran would probably, no, definitely enter a dark and sinisterous state then.
For the sake of a healthy meimei’s feelings as well as my personal safety’s considerations, this path of ‘directly rejecting’ would be deemed to be not traversable already.
I must avoid a dangerous route, as I don’t want to welcome my life’s BAD ENDING at all.
Communication was a thing that could solve a huge majority of problems. Sweet talking could help to get girls, soft gentle words could comfort other people, grandiloquence speaking could aid in bolstering courage, self-mumbling could help to tidy up your thoughts!
And what I needed now, was direct yet quick words!
“From when did it started?”
“Five years ago…………”
The time gap was a little too overboard already!
Then that means, in this nearly one thousand eight hundred plus days of time-span, every night I would be like a dead corpse being unaware?
“Everyday always coming over?”
Xin Ran suddenly lowered her head and kept silent.
What should I do now?
Was it time to use that method already………..
“Haaa…………I get it, you had a nightmare, right?”
I lied, even though I knew Xin Ran completely wasn’t looking for me because of having nightmares, but I made up an excuse of my own will instead. Although the act of lying would make me feel the rebuking of my conscience, with my entirety feeling extremely discomforted thereafter, but there wasn’t any choice left at this point of time.
“Do you still remember when the both of us were still living in the same room, there was once when you had a nightmare too, and ended up crawling into my blanket.”
That was also false too, as there wasn’t any of that sort of thing at all, but since it’s such a long time ago already, I’ll just falsify up some memories.
It was extremely far fetched, and it’s possible that she had already saw that I was lying.
But as long as I choose to compromise at this moment, the both of us would be able to temporarily obtain some retreating paths, and we’ll both be slightly better off a little.
Xin Ran silently nodded her head, as her aloof expression became way much more relaxed; she’s probably slightly more assured already.
I’ll temporarily let it be like this first then, I can’t pressurize her any further.
I gave off a sigh as I stood up from the chair, and was just wanting to tell her ‘Go back to sleep then.’ , when she opened her mouth first to ask me.
“Gege, you……….were awake from the very beginning?”
“No, I just awakened not too long ago.”
“You also didn’t sleep yesterday, right?”
How did she know about that?
“Coffee, you poured it into the trash can.”
So it’s been discovered already huh………..tch, if I had known about this I should have just poured it into the toilet bowl instead.
“And so you deduced out from the coffee in the trash can that I wasn’t sleeping last night, and that it’s very possible that I had already known about you………..even though you knew it, you still came over today.”
“Mm, yesterday I was already mentally ready for it………..”
I see, no wonder just now Xin Ran didn’t have any sort of hyper-panicky expression at all, and was able to be that composed, it’s all because that she was already mentally prepared long ago.
“I finally can tell you already, Gege………..I love you, it’s not the love between family members, I really love gege, Xin Ran loves you the most.”
The expression on her face became incomparably serious, and I could feel that Xin Ran wasn’t speaking falsely at all.
It’s different from the joke made by Ji Lian Bing, it’s a confession that encompasses determination.
So being mentally ready wasn’t referring to being mentally prepared onto being discovered by me, but it’s regarding about the confession towards me, huh?
To be honest, I’m really a little touched by it.
But being touched is one thing, and accepting it or not was another. The morality rule within my heart disallowed me to accept this set of confession.
“Xin Ran, I………”
“You don’t need to reply me, I’ve never anticipated before for your answer. I already understood about it from the start, but I just couldn’t resist it inside me. Even though I know you’re my gege, I still want to hug you, be closer to you………..so, please allow me to temporarily stay by your side, okay? I promise that I won’t interfere onto your life………..”
So everything was just only my wild imagination, and there wasn’t a need at all to even start enlightening her, as she had from a long time ago thought clearly about it. She must had been more confused than me, thought out more of this than me, was more troubled than me, beginning from the start of five years ago, all the way, all the way being conflicted………..
Facing onto this sort of meimei, how could I go on to reject her final plea?
“I got it………but, we must properly define out the borderlines first.”
Well, next should be finally asking that no-choice-but-to-ask-out sort of question already, huh………..
I shut my eyes, engrossing myself into a few seconds of deep thought before I raised her a question that I was most concerned with.
“Then be honest with me, while I was sleeping, till what point have you gone to already?”
“………..Hugging and sleeping only.”
“You just now even kissed me, heeh, now tell me the truth, what have you done to me already? If not I’ll go tell Laomā……….”
The corner of her lip’s curvature slightly curled downwards, Xin Ran seemingly looked to be rather displeased, or maybe unhappy?
If it’s the usual me, I’ll definitely be succumbed to her already.
Being afraid of meimei hating me even more made me choose to take several retreating steps in my actions………..but! Today’s initiative’s control was at my side! I must ask her clearly, if not every night when my blood-related meimei crawled onto my bed, being naked as she sneaked underneath my blanket, I wouldn’t be able to live out my days any more!
Although still displaying a look of unhappy expression on her face, she still described continuously and pleasantly out all her deeds, and I heard it on and on till the point that I actually dripped cold sweat.
“Hug, grope, kiss, lick………..parts are cheeks, lips, neck, body………..when your in deep sleep, french kiss…………saliva drinking.”
It was said that men were creatures that only used their lower half to think, but right now it seemed that women weren’t that much rational as well…………
But just these alone shouldn’t still be all of it, she definitely didn’t say out everything.
“No more already.”
“If you don’t say the truth, then don’t think of coming to my room ever again.”
“…………Used gege’s hands to rub against my breasts and private parts………….placing that thing into my mouth………..”
My meimei’s a pervert!
Although this alone was too over-the-edge already, I still had a nagging suspicion that there’s still something deceiving about it.
“Really nothing already?”
“Really nothing already.”
“Good, since Laomā’s at home today, I’ll go suggest to her to hold a family meeting then……….”
I pretended to stand up and leave the room, and I hadn’t left my bed when Xin Ran grabbed onto my wrists.
“………..Only once, seizing the opportunity when gege had an erection, I rubbed it against my crotch………..definitely didn’t insert it in at all. If you don’t believe me, I can open it up and show you my hymen.”
“How many times exactly?”
“It’s sixty-two times, I remembered very clearly the times I climaxed.”
It’s so dangerous!
Cold sweat had been frightened out of me!
It’s nearly to the point of being hopeless already!
I’m almost standing at the very doorstep of German orthopedics already…………no, wait, Laobà’s a surgeon, so after he broke my leg he wouldn’t even need to send me to Germany at all, as he could just fix it for me himself…………and afterwards break it again? Then fix it again? Repeating this onwards continuously, letting me lie on the hospital bed for my entire life?
It’s sho shcary!
Xin Ran was playing with her tips of her fingers restlessly while observing my expression, like a small child who had done something wrong as she timidly asked: “……….Next time can I still sleep together with you?”
If I was to say no, she probably would start crying then………..if it’s just sleeping then there shouldn’t be any problems at all, but I must first set some regulations on place.
“You can, but you must put on your pajamas.”
“How about hugging?”
“If it’s about arms-level then you can.”
“How about kissing?”
“If it’s about forehead or cheeks then you can.”
“Uuu………..in western countries, between relatives they would kiss each other using lips, that’s a form of etiquette.”
“No, I’m not a westerner, and you aren’t too. Plus a kissing action that’s mixed in with a person’s emotions weren’t considered to be etiquette already.”
“I guarantee that I won’t stretch my tongue inside.”
“No to that either.”
Xin Ran coldly snorted, and displayed that icy cold expression like her usual self, afterwhich turning her head aside.
The edge of her lips once again curled downwards a few degrees.
She became even more unhappy already.