Daydreaming about Me

Chapter 56

On the left was Wen Zihui, who was engrossed in watching the movie, while on the right was someone acting shamelessly. Publicly speaking suggestive words in a public place, and such self-indulgent ones at that.

It took Lin Yujing several seconds to realize why he said that. She was thankful that the theater was dimly lit and that her face was mostly covered by the large 3D glasses. She should appear expressionless.

So she calmly replied, “You’re dreaming.”

Shen Juan, undeterred by her calm facade, spoke with a smile in his voice, “Are your ears red again?”

“…”

It felt like some sort of hint. After he said that, Lin Yujing indeed felt her ears warm up a bit.

Shen Juan leaned closer. “Come here, let me see if they’re hot.”

“…”

Lin Yujing moved away slightly, unable to hold back her annoyance, “Shut up.”

Her voice was a bit too loud, causing Wen Zihui to turn her head and lean in, “What did you say?”

Lin Yujing, as if electrocuted, quickly turned around and adjusted the glasses Shen Juan had pulled down, “Nothing, I said Iron Man is so cool.”

Shen Juan’s arm was still resting on the back of her seat, facing her. Fortunately, the movie screen dimmed at that moment, and Wen Zihui probably didn’t see clearly through the dim light and didn’t react, turning back to the movie. “You like Iron Man? I think Captain America is cooler. I prefer men who are serious.”

Lin Yujing let out a vague sound.

In the darkness, Shen Juan leaned slightly to the left again, their shoulders bumping together. Even through two layers of clothing, she could feel the boy’s body heat and a slight pressure. Lin Yujing pursed her lips, looked at the movie screen nonchalantly, and extended a finger to poke his shoulder, gently pushing him away.

Shen Juan smiled silently. He raised his hand, hooked his finger around her slender one, and pulled it down, playing with it.

The boy’s hand was a bit cold, and he gently traced her finger from the base to the knuckle, then to the pad, and finally rubbed the fingertip.

In the darkness, the touch became even more sensitive. Lin Yujing felt uneasy as he kneaded her finger, instinctively drawing her shoulders up and feeling restless.

Doing such a sneaky thing in public gave a strange yet thrilling sense of secrecy, making her feel a bit ashamed.

Despite the shame, she found it somewhat exciting. Lin Yujing, can you be a bit more reserved?!

Lin Yujing felt she was becoming more and more corrupt. Just as she was about to pull her hand away, Wen Zihui patted her arm beside her, “Look, your Iron Man!”

As soon as the words “your Iron Man” came out, she felt her fingertip being pinched hard.

Lin Yujing reflexively exclaimed, “Ah!”

Shen Juan controlled his strength well, so it wasn’t very painful, just a sudden sharp sensation.

Wen Zihui turned her head again, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Lin Yujing gritted her teeth, “So cool.”

Shen Juan held her finger tightly, not letting her pull away. When he heard her say “so cool,” he pinched her fingertip again.

You! Shen Juan, don’t go too far!

Lin Yujing turned her head and glared at him, afraid to disturb Wen next to them, whispering very softly, “Let go.”

Shen Juan didn’t, gently rubbing her fingertip as if to soothe her, his touch tender.

She leaned closer, carefully whispering in his ear, “Can you be more careful? What if they find out?”

By “they,” she meant Li Lin and Wen Zihui.

Shen Juan, hearing this, glanced over at Li Lin and the others.

Three heads with large black 3D glasses lined up, all leaning slightly towards them, looking in their direction.

When he looked over, the three heads quickly turned back, continuing to watch the movie calmly.

Everyone pretended nothing had happened.

Lin Yujing, with her back to them, was oblivious to all this.

Shen Juan retracted his gaze, “They didn’t notice.”

Throughout the two-hour movie, Lin Yujing had no idea what it was about, completely absorbed in her secret affair with Shen Juan.

Calling it an affair was a bit exaggerated; they were just playing with fingertips. Initially, Lin Yujing didn’t want to entertain him, but he seemed to enjoy it more and more. He wasn’t excessive, just lazily slouched in his seat, slowly and gently caressing her fingertip.

In the end, Lin Yujing was annoyed and couldn’t take it anymore. She pulled her finger out and grabbed his hand in return.

The difference between a boy’s and a girl’s hand was apparent. His hand was much larger, with clearly defined bones, not soft, feeling hard to the touch.

Lin Yujing pulled his hand closer and bit his middle finger in frustration.

Her soft lips, warm, gently bit down like a young beast gnawing, her tongue accidentally brushing against his fingertip, creating a moist, tingly, itchy sensation.

Shen Juan stiffened, even holding his breath for a second, his breathing becoming slightly erratic.

Lin Yujing held his fingertip, lightly gnawing before coldly letting go. This move worked wonders.

Days off always seemed to pass faster than school days. The weekend was over in a flash, and on Sunday night, Lin Yujing received a call from Lin Zhi, who would arrive the next morning and asked her to have lunch together.

Lin Yujing agreed.

Growing up, Lin Zhi’s emphasis on grades had always put some pressure on her, causing her to have a nightmare that night.

In her dream, Lin Zhi and Shen Juan took turns appearing, with the story setting back to the first monthly exam a few months ago. Shen Juan held her report card with a disdainful look, “You only scored this much?”

Lin Zhi’s expression was indifferent, “Reflect on why you can only get second place after transferring to this school. The third-place score is just a few points lower than yours.”

Shen Juan added, “Your studying is really subpar.”

The next day, Lin Yujing came to school with dark circles under her eyes. Li Lin looked at her a few times, “Lin Mei, didn’t sleep well?”

After dreaming all night, Lin Yujing’s mind was filled with Shen Juan scoring two points higher in both exams, saying her score was low and her studying was poor.

She sat numbly in her seat, muttering, “Shen Juan, that bastard…” Li Lin: “…”

The bastard Shen Juan finally arrived late in the third period, yawning as he walked into the classroom with a box of handmade sugar crisps in his hand. He placed it on Lin Yujing’s desk and said, “Morning, girlfriend.”

Lin Yujing, who hadn’t slept well, was still a bit out of it, but after three classes, she had finally shaken off the remnants of her dream. She sighed and quietly said, “This is the third time I’m reminding you. Be more careful.”

Shen Juan raised an eyebrow, “Careful about what?”

“Shen, early dating is a serious issue,” Lin Yujing said. “So don’t be so blatant about it. This is something only you and I know. We should be more discreet and not let our classmates find out.”

Shen Juan was silent. He didn’t know how to tell her that it might be a bit too late to start being careful now.

Seeing his silence, Lin Yujing thought he was upset, “Do you want Liu Fujiang to call you in for a talk?”

Shen Juan considered how Liu Fujiang might handle the situation:

“Well, I understand that you guys are under a lot of pressure from schoolwork, and it’s normal to have a relationship. Why don’t you skip this period and just sit in my office to date?”

Wonderful.

He nodded and said cooperatively, “Alright, then this box of sugar crisps might not be appropriate for you—” He reached for the box on her desk.

Before he could touch it, Lin Yujing quickly grabbed the sugar crisps and hugged them to her chest. “It’s not a big deal for deskmates to share some snacks,” she said solemnly. “Let’s keep our distance today and just maintain the appearance of a simple friendship built around this box of sugar crisps.”

Shen Juan watched her protect the box like it was her child, her eyes wary as if he might snatch it from her at any moment. Leaning against the wall, he couldn’t help but laugh silently.

How could she be so cute? —

Lin Yujing meant what she said. They kept their distance that day, creating beauty from the space between them, maintaining the illusion of a modest friendship defined by a single box of sugar crisps.

With such a flimsy relationship, it wasn’t appropriate to have lunch together. So, when the bell rang for the end of the last period before lunch, Shen Juan left with He Songnan and the others.

Lin Yujing sighed, packed her things, and walked out of the teaching building to see Lin Zhi standing at the entrance.

Lin Yujing hadn’t seen Lin Zhi since she divorced Meng Weiguo. The woman wore a long black wool dress, her makeup was delicate, and her features were gentle yet cold.

Compared to Meng Weiguo, Lin Yujing’s features resembled Lin Zhi’s more. Throughout her life, she had received countless comments about how much she looked like her mother. She remembered that when she was little, she would secretly feel happy every time someone said that.

Back then, Lin Zhi was her idol. She could proudly tell her classmates that her mother was the most beautiful and capable person in the world.

How many years ago was that? Lin Yujing no longer remembered.

Having not seen her for so long, Lin Yujing felt awkward, while Lin Zhi seemed unaffected. Lin Zhi didn’t talk much while eating, and they silently finished their lunch before Lin Zhi put down her chopsticks.

A nerve in Lin Yujing’s brain instantly tightened.

She hadn’t figured out what Lin Zhi’s purpose was for coming to have lunch with her.

“I came today to meet your homeroom teacher and understand your current academic situation,” Lin Zhi finally said. “The top student in your grade is also in your class, right?”

Lin Yujing poked at her food and mumbled, “Yeah.”

“How much higher are his scores compared to yours?” Lin Zhi asked.

Lin Yujing sighed, “…Two points.”

“Monthly exam, midterm exam, I could understand the first time if you were in poor condition, but twice in a row?” Lin Zhi said calmly. “I don’t think this is your level.”

Lin Yujing didn’t respond.

She was starting to feel a bit annoyed.

“As I mentioned on the phone last time, I don’t want my issues with your father to affect you. You need to adjust your mindset. You suddenly changed to a new environment—”

Lin Yujing suddenly looked up at her, “Have you ever counted?”

“Counted what?”

“How long has it been since you talked to me this much?” Lin Yujing said calmly.

Lin Zhi was taken aback.

In the classroom, during the lunch break.

Li Lin, Song Zhiming, and Wen Zihui were whispering in a corner.

They felt that something was off.

The top student deskmates who usually seemed inseparable were behaving differently today.

The meticulous care Shen Juan usually showed towards Lin Yujing was suddenly gone. The whole morning, he barely spoke to her.

Lin Yujing, on the other hand, didn’t even glance at Shen Juan. The two of them didn’t have lunch together either.

“What’s going on?” Wen Zihui asked, puzzled. “Did they have a fight?” “Wait, let me confirm,” Song Zhiming raised a hand. “They are dating, right?” Wen Zihui understood, “Well, couples do have little quarrels. It’s normal.”

“Little quarrels might be normal, but I don’t think it’s normal for Shen,” Song Zhiming said. “Given how he treats Lin Mei, can they really fight? Can Shen really get angry at her?”

Wen Zihui imagined Shen Juan being angry.

Within a hundred-mile radius, bodies everywhere, a sea of blood, not a single blade of grass growing, no living creature.

Wen Zihui shivered.

They continued discussing, but Li Lin remained silent.

He recalled Lin Yujing’s morning comment, filled with hatred: “Shen Juan, that bastard.”

He hadn’t thought much of it then, but now, considering Lin Yujing’s behavior today, he found it deeply meaningful.

Li Lin’s mind ran wild with plots from three hundred romance novels and love triangle movies, finally concluding with what seemed the most plausible explanation.

“I think,” Li Lin said gravely, “Shen might have cheated.” —

Author’s note:

Li Lin, do you not value your life?

Chapter 57

The quiet private restaurant, a table by the window. When Lin Yujing spoke, the silence shifted to Lin Zhi.

Lin Zhi looked at her for a moment, then pushed the cup in her hand slightly forward. “Then I’ll be direct,” she said calmly. “I came this time mainly to understand if you have any plans to come back.”

It was a simple and easy-to-understand question, but Lin Yujing was momentarily confused.

She really didn’t understand. “What?”

Lin Zhi directly said, “I think you’re not quite adapting. It’s clear you can’t get used to life here, and your grades are suffering because of it. Do you want to live with me?”

This time, she spoke clearly.

Lin Yujing looked at her, tilting her head slightly, still seemingly confused. “I remember,” Lin Yujing said slowly, “when you divorced my dad, you didn’t say that.”

Lin Zhi’s fingers touched the rim of her cup, sliding along the edge. “When I divorced Meng Weiguo, I didn’t think much. I just wanted to break free,” she said calmly. “I was with him for twenty years. We tortured each other long enough. I didn’t want to waste another minute. I wanted to erase him from my life, everything about him, his traces, the evidence of his existence. Everything that reminded me of him, I didn’t want to keep.”

Lin Yujing softly said, “Including me.”

Lin Zhi was silent for a moment before saying, “Including you.”

She nodded and said, “Congratulations, you’ve cut all ties with Meng Weiguo. Now you should have no worries at all.”

Lin Zhi shook her head. “Xiaoyu, we were never meant to be completely separate.” “So, now you want me back? You regret it?” Lin Yujing asked.

“Your last name is Lin,” Lin Zhi said. “You will always be a child of the Lin family. Everything of the Lin family, everything I have, will ultimately be yours.”

Lin Yujing smiled. “I thought you planned to have a little brother for me?”

Lin Zhi was silent for a moment, then calmly said, “I will never be pregnant again.”

Lin Yujing was stunned. “What do you mean?”

“Literally,” Lin Zhi said flatly. “A fibroid. I’ll arrange surgery to remove it soon.”

Lin Yujing’s fingers felt a bit cold. “Your uterus…?”

Lin Zhi didn’t speak.

Lin Yujing also understood how redundant her question was.

So, this is the reason.

She came back to find her, she wanted her back, and this is the whole reason.

Because she couldn’t get pregnant anymore, because she was now the only heir of the Lin family.

She felt as if there was a fire in her heart, which started to flare up because of Lin Zhi’s words, burning more and more intensely.

The fuel was sadness and anger.

Among these, anger took the highest proportion, and she even felt her hand trembling under the table.

She laughed. “My new brother seems to have the surname Fu. Should I change my name?”

Lin Zhi frowned slightly.

Lin Yujing had never spoken to Lin Zhi like this.

She felt she was quite a contradictory person.

Sometimes, for some things, she was stubborn to death. Even if she failed a hundred times, she would try the hundred and first time without hesitation.

Sometimes she quite believed in fate.

For example, she felt she probably had very little affinity with her parents, and she had tried to hold on, but every time it was in vain.

So, forget it.

When she was little, she wanted to eat a piece of cake desperately, but could never get it.

When she grew up, the cake was finally placed in front of her, but suddenly she realized, it seemed she didn’t want to eat it that much anymore.

Everything can be gotten used to, including not being loved. Lin Yujing understood Lin Zhi.

Or rather, because she had been disappointed in Lin Zhi too many times, she had long learned not to hold any expectations.

She didn’t want to argue, didn’t want to fight, didn’t want to waste words.

Occasionally a phone call, reporting her grades, then her recent performance, like a work report, wasn’t that good enough?

But today, she couldn’t hold it in.

This feeling of being lifted up and then heavily thrown down again.

And her attitude only made Lin Zhi frown slightly, her expression still calm. “You are my child. Of course, I love you.”

There was a faint sound in her mind, her rationality burned away.

Her shoulders slumped, and she relaxed.

Lin Yujing found it unbelievable.

She didn’t understand how she could hurt her child without hesitation, then turn around and find her, saying so matter-of-factly that she still loved her.

I didn’t want you back then because I was too impulsive. I was wrong.

You were wronged, right? It’s okay, I want you again now because I need an heir.

“So, what do you mean?” Lin Yujing looked at her with amusement. “Did you come to tell me this today?”

“You’ve figured it out. You don’t want to be stubborn anymore. You suddenly realized that your love for me outweighs your annoyance, so you came to wave at me, and then?”

Her voice was light, calm. “Do you think just because you came to find me, I should forget the past, run into your arms with tears of gratitude, and act out a deep mother- daughter bond with you? Because I am not unwanted?”

Her words were excessively improper, and Lin Zhi finally began to show her discontent. Perhaps she couldn’t hold it in any longer; she frowned and looked at her coldly, saying, “Lin Yujing, what are you saying now? You used to—”

“Do you even know what I used to be like? You probably never did, right? Have you ever tried to understand me from childhood until now?” Lin Yujing stood up, the chair scraping against the floor with a loud screech.

She took a deep breath. “Mom, if you specifically came to have a meal with me just to ask this, then I’ll be direct too.”

“I have no plans to go back, nor do I want to live with you. I did feel out of place before, but now, I’ve started to love this city.”

Lin Yujing said calmly, “I like the people and things here, the weather too. I’ve even fallen in love with the asphalt roads and manhole covers here. I don’t plan to leave for the rest of my life.”

Lin Zhi looked at her, her always-straight back suddenly slumped. Her tone softened a bit, her voice light, “Xiaoyu, are you blaming me?”

Lin Yujing didn’t respond.

The flames crackled and burned to the end, leaving only a layer of ash. The embers flickered weakly, then one by one, they disappeared completely.

Anger was burned away, leaving only emptiness, so overwhelming that she could barely stand.

Did she blame her? She definitely had.

When Lin Yujing first came to A City, for a long time, especially after her arguments with Meng Weiguo, she often imagined Lin Zhi suddenly appearing, saying she would take her back.

Lin Yujing lowered her eyes, looking at the untouched soup on the table.

The Cordyceps chicken soup in the small clay pot had gone cold, the refreshing taste ruined, with a layer of solidified yellow grease floating on top, making it look somewhat nauseating.

“I don’t blame you anymore, Mom. My last bit of hope was extinguished by you,” Lin Yujing said, “on the day you divorced and said you could give up everything, including me.”

When Lin Yujing returned to school at noon, Shen Juan hadn’t come back yet. She entered the classroom with red eyes.

Li Lin hadn’t told Song Zhiming and the others about what happened in the morning in detail. He felt obligated to keep the secret as the only one who knew, no matter how good the brothers were.

And besides, the matter was still uncertain. Maybe he was overthinking it. Li Lin decided to observe secretly for a while.

By noon, Li Lin saw Lin Yujing come back first, her expression seemingly normal. On closer inspection, her eyes were still red.

Ten minutes later, Shen Juan also returned.

Boss Shen looked relaxed, carefree, and a little pleased.

Four big characters popped into Li Lin’s mind.

—Spring breeze, contentment.

Li Lin felt this could confirm his suspicions.

The two didn’t have lunch together, and after returning separately, one had red eyes, and the other looked lively and happy.

Li Lin even imagined what might have happened that noon: Lin Yujing eating alone, encountering Shen Juan and his new fling or mistress at some restaurant. Boss Shen was pleased by the new fling, while Lin Yujing was so green with jealousy that she couldn’t help but tear up.

And Shen Juan?

Of course, he only saw the new love smile and ignored the old one crying.

No wonder people said handsome guys were often heartless; it was true.

Li Lin was so angry that he wanted to grab Shen Juan by the collar and question him. Such serious moral issues were intolerable, even if he considered Shen Juan a brother.

But he couldn’t. He feared Shen Juan might beat him to a pulp. Li Lin hated himself for being too weak for the first time.

Without a word, he rushed out of the classroom, planning to punish himself by running a few laps downstairs to vent. He also debated whether to risk confronting Shen Juan to understand the situation.

He gave himself a lot of imaginary drama without feeling guilty, even considering it experienced advice.

Based on his rich experience of watching three hundred love triangle dramas.

Meanwhile, Shen Juan was unaware that after being dumped, he had already cheated in someone’s imagination. As soon as he returned, he noticed something was off with Lin Yujing.

Although she looked the same as usual.

Shen Juan paused, obediently refraining from talking to her, and pulled out his phone from his jacket pocket to play with.

Half a minute later, Lin Yujing felt her phone vibrate in her desk. She took it out and glanced at it.

Shen Juan: [What did you have for lunch?] Lin Yujing: “…”

She didn’t reply immediately.

She didn’t know how to talk about what happened at noon today, although Lin Zhi had said she just wanted to ask. If Lin Yujing wasn’t unhappy with her current life, she wouldn’t force her.

Lin Yujing didn’t want Shen Juan to know about her complicated family background, but she hadn’t thought about hiding it from him either.

If there was an appropriate opportunity to talk about it, she would tell Shen Juan. Shen Juan trusted her, sharing everything with her.

Lin Yujing wanted to at least do the same.

But she didn’t know how to say it.

Lin Yujing had to admit, when Lin Zhi mentioned needing surgery, she didn’t know how to react.

She didn’t have a direct or specific understanding of the surgery. Given Lin Zhi’s calm demeanor, Lin Yujing first felt boundless sadness and urgent anger before any other emotions.

Now, as she calmed down, she started to grasp the concept of removing an organ from the body.

How much harm would the surgery do to the body?

How terrifying would it be to suddenly feel a part of your body gone?

She regretted saying some harsh words.

No matter what, this was her mother, the one who gave her life.

Would she feel pain or fear?

Lin Yujing rubbed her eyes uncomfortably.

She paused, her fingers tapping on the keyboard one character at a time, slowly: [Why are you texting?]

Shen Juan: [My girlfriend won’t let me talk to her. I have to create the illusion that we maintain our relationship as ordinary desk mates with just a box of snacks.]

Lin Yujing almost laughed. She pushed her phone into the desk and looked up, turning her head to look at him.

Shen Juan turned his head slightly too.

She glanced at him and then looked down again.

Though they were so close, they didn’t say a word, communicating through messages while sitting together.

Lin Yujing thought it was a bit silly and couldn’t help but smile. She turned her head away, buried her face, and took out her phone again to type: [Boyfriend, I have something to tell you. Do you want to hear it?]

Shen Juan read the message, glanced at her, and then continued typing: [I want to hear it. Please go ahead, girlfriend.]

Lin Yujing typed slowly, sending several messages: [I just did something a bit bad and said some selfish things.]

[I couldn’t control myself at the time and didn’t think it through.] [I felt very sad and very, very angry.]

Lin Yujing sent several messages in a row, and Shen Juan hadn’t replied yet. She could see him staring at his phone, his fingers still, not moving for a long time.

Not wanting to seem too sentimental, she rubbed her nose and changed her tone: [Sigh, I’m just a child with no one to love.]

She even sent a cute girl emoji.

Pouting.jpg.

Shen Juan still didn’t reply, but he moved.

Lin Yujing saw him straighten up and looked over.

Shen Juan didn’t look at her. He grabbed the edge of his chair, moved it closer to her, closed the gap between them, then unzipped his school uniform jacket, pulled one side open to reveal the sweatshirt inside.

The gesture was a bit showy, and Lin Yujing was momentarily puzzled.

The next second, she felt someone reach into her school uniform sleeve and touch her fingers.

Shen Juan’s fingers were cool, but his palm was warm. He grabbed her fingers and pulled them out of her sleeve, then tucked them into his own school uniform sleeve.

Their jacket sleeves connected, Lin Yujing’s hand was pulled inside. The space was big enough for both their hands to move around.

After settling, he gently squeezed her fingertips inside the sleeve, then interlaced his fingers with hers, clasping them together.

His thumb gently rubbed the bones on the back of her hand, comforting her.

The school uniform jacket was already large, and his actions covered most of the joined sleeves.

Even if someone glanced over, they would just think they were sitting a bit close.

Though they were just sitting in the classroom, hiding their hand-holding inside their sleeves, Lin Yujing felt incredibly nervous, her heart pounding intensely.

Her ears were burning. Her breathing was a bit unsteady too.

Just holding hands, Lin Yujing, can’t you have a bit more composure?

She tried to maintain a nonchalant appearance, sneaking a glance sideways, only to find Shen Juan pretending to play on his phone, typing one-handedly on the screen convincingly.

She felt his hand move slightly and thought he was going to let go, so she loosened her grip and tried to pull her hand away.

But Shen Juan held on tighter, even seeming a bit dissatisfied, pulling her hand back in. At the same time, her phone buzzed in the desk.

With one hand held by him, she used her other hand to take out her phone, unlock the screen, and check the message.

Shen Juan had sent her a message with four characters.

[Juan loves you]

The author has something to say:

Shen Juan, please stop emitting your charm (screaming chicken activated).

Chapter 58

Lin Yujing briefly told Shen Juan about her family situation.

She kept it simple. With just a few words, she explained the gist of it, and Lin Yujing realized that her family situation was actually quite common.

Her parents had a rocky relationship, got divorced, and remarried, leaving the child somewhat deprived of love.

How typical and ordinary a story this is.

She didn’t go into too much detail, skipping over things like her dad marrying into her mom’s family. Shen Juan was very smart. From the moment he met her and helped her sign “Parent Meng Weiguo” on a form, he must have had many speculations in his mind. He had never asked or brought it up, a testament to his upbringing and emotional intelligence.

Now that Lin Yujing had spoken to this extent, he could probably guess most of the rest.

It was still afternoon during their self-study period when she talked about this. Wang Konglong had taken half the class period, and Liu Fujiang let them study on their own for the remaining half.

It was the first class in the afternoon, a time when everyone was full and sleepy. Almost everyone in the class was asleep, while Lin Yujing and Shen Juan leaned over their desks, whispering.

When talking about Lin Zhi’s incident today, Shen Juan spoke his first sentence since the story began: “Why do you think you did something not so good?”

Lin Yujing was stunned. It seemed she hadn’t expected him to ask this question or hadn’t thought about the answer.

She lay on the desk, silent for a moment, frowning. With some difficulty, she said, “I don’t know how to put it. At that time, I was just really unhappy. When I heard she was sick, my first thought was still about myself. I didn’t think about her being sick or needing surgery. I felt a bit selfish.”

She sighed. “Although we don’t live together anymore and probably don’t have much of an emotional bond, I don’t want to see her sick. I hope she can live well. After all, she is… my mom.”

Shen Juan turned his head to look at her without saying a word. His only thought was, she is too gentle.

Lin Yujing is a person who hides her true self beneath a layer of toughness. She uses a facade of softness to disguise her sharp edges and thorns, building walls and arming herself with cannons. When faced with danger or enemies, she strikes without hesitation and keeps everyone at a distance.

Yet, when you break through her fortress and peel away her thorns, you find she is still soft inside.

The world has not been kind enough to her, so she hides her gentleness from it. She deserves everything good.

Shen Juan silently looked at her for a long while without speaking. Lin Yujing pursed her lips, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“I don’t want to talk,” Shen Juan said calmly. “Talking would distract me, but right now, I need to focus all my attention on restraining my desire to hug you.”

Lin Yujing: “…”

Lin Yujing, caught off guard, was teased once again. After a moment of being stunned, she smiled slightly and whispered, “I really didn’t expect you to have this kind of awareness, boyfriend.”

“Of course I do,” Shen Juan’s fingers stealthily reached under the desk, intertwined with hers for a moment, then quickly withdrew. He said calmly, “As deskmates, hugging all the time is not appropriate.”

Lin Yujing: “…” Basketball Game

This week is the semi-final of the basketball game. Previously, Class 10 narrowly defeated Class 7 as a dark horse to advance to the semi-finals. Their fierce momentum shocked everyone, and now, everyone has high expectations for Class 10’s performance this year.

Especially since their substitute is a girl.

Curious people went to investigate, and soon everyone knew another piece of information: the fierce substitute forward is none other than Lin Yujing, the perennial second-place student who scored second in both exams.

Lin Yujing, who sits next to the top student.

Lin Yujing, who was involved in a rumor.

Lin Yujing, a girl whose fate is tightly intertwined with Shen Juan’s.

On the day of Class 10’s semi-final, everyone crowded into the basketball court to catch a glimpse of the dark horse. But they found that not only was Lin Yujing absent, even Shen Juan wasn’t playing.

The remaining players from Class 10, with two substitutes, did their best. While Song Zhiming and Yu Pengfei’s skills were reliable, they couldn’t make up for Li Lin’s poor performance.

Comrade Li Lin, called upon in a crisis, did not fail to fully demonstrate his terrible basketball skills. He became the easiest target, allowing anyone to break through and effectively becoming the sixth player on the opposing team.

The more he played, the worse he got, astonishing everyone with how he managed to become worse every minute.

In the end, Class 10 lost by a narrow margin of 42 points to Class 3.

Fortunately, Class 10 didn’t have much of a desire to win the basketball game. Their competitive spirit had been exhausted in their life-or-death battle with Class 7.

Losing the game was acceptable, but Class 7 had to be defeated.

The one most upset by this devastating semi-final loss was probably Liu Fujiang.

Li Lin attributed his poor performance to the fact that he now had a story to tell—he had a dark secret and a depressed mood that affected his performance.

It even impacted his academic performance!!

He should have scored 60 in the last math quiz! But thanks to Shen Juan, he only scored 55!

Li Lin realized he needed to share his burden with someone.

He told Song Zhiming about it, and after the basketball game, they crouched in a corner of the court, whispering.

Song Zhiming said, “Damn, Li Lin, you’re really brave. How dare you have such bold thoughts?”

Li Lin’s eyes widened. “I heard it with my own ears and saw it with my own eyes. That afternoon, Lin Mei cried. Do you know what it means for her to cry?” Li Lin poked his inner eye corners with his index fingers, mimicking tears. “Her eyes were red.”

He spoke with deep emotion, sounding very real, and Song Zhiming was somewhat swayed.

The two crouched in the corner, sighing for a long time. Finally, Song Zhiming said, “This has nothing to do with us. Whether it’s a misunderstanding or not, Lin Mei isn’t someone who gets bullied.”

Li Lin nodded. “I just told you, don’t tell anyone else.”

Song Zhiming nodded too. “Don’t worry, even if I die and am nailed in a coffin, I’ll shout with my hoarse voice—I know nothing.”

That evening, after school, Lin Yujing researched a lot about Lin Zhi’s illness.

It’s one of the common benign tumors. Usually, unless there’s suspicion of malignancy or severe symptoms, a total hysterectomy isn’t necessary.

However, from what Lin Zhi said today, she seemed ready for the surgery.

Her condition had become that serious.

Lin Yujing sighed, feeling complicated.

Since she could remember, Lin Zhi had always been very busy at work, like a robot that didn’t need rest.

If her illness had indeed progressed to the point of requiring such a surgery, it was probably because she never paid attention to it or cared, dragging it until now.

Lin Yujing hesitated for a long time, considering whether to call Lin Zhi.

Their last meeting had ended badly, with Lin Zhi being the one to step back. It was the first time Lin Yujing had shown resistance towards her.

For several days, Lin Yujing was distracted.

On Friday, the last class meeting was changed to self-study by Liu Fujiang. She was working on a physics paper when Shen Juan suddenly sighed.

Lin Yujing didn’t react.

Shen Juan reached out and lightly tapped her paper.

She came to her senses and looked up.

Shen Juan pointed to her paper. “You’ve been staring at this question for five minutes. Don’t look anymore, choose C.”

Shen Juan said calmly, “Basic middle school level electricity problem.” Lin Yujing exclaimed, marked C, and sighed.

Shen Juan glanced at her. “Going home today?”

Lin Yujing responded, “Yes.”

“Together?” Shen Juan asked.

Lin Yujing froze, realizing she hadn’t gone home with him before.

“Sure,” she nodded, hesitated, then took out her phone to text Uncle Li. She checked the time—he should be here already. Lin Yujing thought for a moment how to phrase it. “About my family…”

Shen Juan said nothing, watching her with a half-smile. She blinked, “What?”

“I meant,” Shen Juan said, “let’s go home together.”

Lin Yujing was stunned for a few seconds, then realized what he meant. She looked at him expressionlessly, “Shen, please mind your manners. I never intended to go home with you.”

Shen Juan leaned back lazily and chuckled, “Then let’s walk to the school gate together, we’ll take the back way so no one notices.”

Lin Yujing seriously considered this, then said solemnly, “Okay.” It was hard to describe, but it was inexplicably cute.

Shen Juan couldn’t help wanting to ruffle her hair but remembered their fragile and cheap ordinary deskmate relationship. He curled his index finger and lightly tapped her forehead, “Focus more on your homework, don’t always chat with your deskmate.”

His interruption, whether intentional or not, lifted Lin Yujing’s spirits. She refocused and finished her paper just as school ended.

Shen Juan didn’t have much to pack. He grabbed a few papers from his desk and stuffed them into his bag, then stood by, waiting for her.

After school, the school was exceptionally lively. The corridors were crowded with people. They walked slowly behind the crowd, left the teaching building, and waited for her to get her luggage from the dormitory before heading towards the school gate.

Neither of them spoke, and it didn’t feel awkward.

Ba Zhong (Eighth Middle School) had quite a few wealthy students. Private cars were lined up at the school gate, and the road in front was busy with traffic. The streetlights were orderly and bright.

They stopped at the school gate.

With the gate’s lights behind him, Shen Juan looked down at her. The gate was bustling, everyone was laughing and heading out, and no one paid attention to what they were doing.

Shen Juan finally couldn’t resist and reached out to ruffle her hair. His fingers, slightly cool, traced down and gently pinched her soft earlobe.

It tickled a bit. Lin Yujing shrank her neck and looked up, her gaze sweeping past him. Shen Juan sensed her freeze for a second and then stiffen.

Before he could react, Lin Yujing seemed to snap back to reality suddenly. She pushed him away and retreated several steps.

Shen Juan was stunned for a couple of seconds, then pressed his lips together without saying anything, and walked back towards the school.

Lin Yujing stood still, bit her lip, then nonchalantly brushed past him and left the gate.

Shen Juan walked back into the school until he was out of sight from the gate, then stopped and took out his phone.

He had almost immediately realized something was wrong when he was pushed, quickly reacting.

The phone vibrated in his hand, the screen lighting up. Shen Juan thought it was a message from Lin Yujing and looked down.

He was greeted by a heartfelt message from He Songnan: “Juan Ye, don’t worry. No matter what others say, I will always believe in you.”

Shen Juan was momentarily confused, wondering why this idiot was suddenly waxing poetic again.

He was concerned about Lin Yujing and wasn’t in the mood to chat with him. Frowning, he was about to treat it as junk and close it.

Then He Songnan continued: “I know you’re not the type to abandon your wife in times of trouble.”

Shen Juan: …? Chapter 59

Lin Yujing immediately saw Lin Zhi, who appeared at the school gate for some unknown reason. Standing on the sidewalk by the school entrance, with low visibility at night, it was impossible to see her expression from this distance. She could only see her standing quietly, arms crossed, looking in her direction.

As she walked toward the school gate, she pondered how believable it would be to pretend she hadn’t seen her. After thinking for five seconds, she turned her head and glanced in Lin Zhi’s direction, noticing that she seemed to be staring at her.

Lin Yujing gave up, sighed, and walked over. She had thought that after so many days, Lin Zhi should have left by now.

Lin Zhi’s expression was calm and straightforward, without any hesitation: “Who was that just now?”

Lin Yujing paused: “My deskmate.”

“Deskmate?” Lin Zhi squinted, an expression remarkably similar to Lin Yujing’s, “I saw you come out together, are you close?”

“Yes,” Lin Yujing feigned nonchalance and replied without changing her expression, “He has decent grades too, so we occasionally discuss our studies.”

Lin Zhi laughed ambiguously.

Lin Yujing forced herself to remain calm, trying not to show any emotion, her gaze sincere and innocent. This was her strong suit; usually, she could maintain her composure inside and out. But today was different; she felt a bit guilty.

Lin Zhi, being extremely perceptive, already had a cold look in her eyes: “Occasionally discuss studies? I doubt it. Does what you discuss have anything to do with studying?”

Lin Yujing didn’t respond.

Lin Zhi took a deep breath, her expression icy: “Are you in a relationship?”

Lin Yujing stiffened, still not speaking. Denying it felt impossible. Normally, she could fake the innocence of a simple friendship between deskmates. But in this serious atmosphere, denying it now felt like negating the person’s existence. Even thinking about it made her feel bad for Shen Juan.

Lin Zhi’s gaze grew completely cold as she asked, “Is your reluctance to come with me because of this boy?”

An inexplicable panic rose in Lin Yujing. She looked up, took a deep breath, the late autumn wind filling her lungs, its chill permeating her entire being.

“No,” Lin Yujing said, “It’s not because of him.”

Lin Zhi sneered: “You’ve not only become rude but also learned to lie.”

Lin Yujing looked at her: “I don’t want to go with you simply because I don’t want to. I won’t base my decisions on anyone else.”

Lin Zhi showed a brief, mocking smile. Impatiently, she said, “Let’s not talk about whether you stay or go. Your most important task now is to study hard! Look at what you’ve done since you came here! Your grades have dropped, you’re talking back, and now you’re not even planning to study properly? Just focusing on dating?”

Lin Yujing stubbornly replied, “I won’t let it affect my studies.”

“You think saying it won’t affect them makes it true?!” Lin Zhi finally got angry, “How old are you? Do you even understand what love is? Do you realize how crucial this time is for you? Lin Yujing, I’m telling you, I absolutely cannot allow it.”

Lin Yujing calmly said, “Mom, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Many things have already happened and can’t be undone just because you want to change them. The impact is already there; you can’t just reset everything to zero.”

Lin Zhi glared at her but said nothing in the end. The two of them stood silently at the school gate, with Shen Juan never coming out. The silence was finally broken when Uncle Li called Lin Yujing, and she went home without a word from Lin Zhi.

When she reached the street corner, she looked back. Lin Zhi was gone from the sidewalk.

It took Shen Juan more than ten minutes to understand what He Songnan meant by his words.

There are no evening classes for second-year students on Fridays, but third-year students do have them. When He Songnan was still in class, he took a brief break from his intense studies to send Shen Juan a message.

Therefore, Shen Juan’s reply was particularly slow. Not only was it slow, but it also seemed that the intense studying had affected He Songnan’s brain, as his ability to express himself rapidly deteriorated. He sent his messages in two-character increments. Additionally, due to the poor signal in the north building where the third-years are, the content he sent was disjointed and difficult to understand, akin to reading classical Chinese. Understanding it was as challenging as solving the final difficult question on a math test.

Shen Juan’s already nonexistent patience was completely worn out, and he was so frustrated that he wanted to rush into the north building, grab He Songnan by the collar, and drag him out of the classroom to explain things face-to-face.

In short, there was a new rumor circulating on the Bāzhōng forum.

According to a self-proclaimed reliable insider, there was recently a new couple at Bāzhōng.

The fact that there was a new couple wasn’t the main point. Although the school strictly forbids such things, these situations are perennial and always resurface with the spring breeze.

With spring in full bloom and everything coming back to life, the focus was on this couple—handsome guy and beautiful girl, not only good-looking but also very capable, the so-called top students and teachers’ favorites.

Of course, the process was tough, but that wasn’t the main point either. The main point was that the guy cheated.

The person he cheated with was his childhood sweetheart. They grew up together, were an ideal couple, but the girl’s parents moved overseas, taking her to live abroad. Thus, the perfect pair tearfully parted, becoming each other’s eternal first love.

Ten years later, the childhood sweetheart returned, and the story began. Shen Juan’s face was expressionless as he processed all this information.

He Songnan, having lied about going to the bathroom, ran down to find him. The two leaned against a vacant spot behind the school building. Shen Juan lit a cigarette and said, “Me? Cheat?”

He Songnan replied, “Bro, no one said the main character was you. They just said he’s a good-looking top student.”

Shen Juan nodded, “In my house, the only female who grew up with me is my dog.”

He Songnan quickly added, “Hey, don’t start insulting yourself now.”

Shen Juan paused, looking indifferently at him, “Do you want to die?”

However, He Songnan was undeterred, gossiping eagerly as he leaned his chin on Shen Juan’s shoulder, “Juan, are you really with the queen?”

Shen Juan didn’t answer, frowning as he leaned back and used a finger to push He Songnan’s head away in disdain, “Too gay, get lost.”

“Damn it!” He Songnan felt offended, “Shen Juan, are you like this now? Got a girlfriend and forgot about your bros?”

Shen Juan laughed and looked up, “As long as you know, I’m a family man. You, being unanimously considered gay by the whole school, don’t get all gay with me.”

Lin Yujing spent the weekend on edge.

Lin Zhi had been strong-willed for decades, a trait ingrained in her bones, not one to easily compromise. Yet, she had been too easily silent the past two times, making Lin Yujing uneasy.

Until Sunday noon, Lin Zhi had made no noise. Just as Lin Yujing was beginning to relax, Lin Zhi called her.

“Let’s talk,” Lin Zhi said bluntly. Lin Yujing didn’t respond.

Lin Zhi waited for a while, getting no response, she sighed, her tone softening slightly, “Xiaoyu, my flight is tomorrow.”

Lin Yujing was taken aback, “Going back?”

“Yeah,” Lin Zhi said calmly, “Let’s have a meal before I leave.”

Lin Zhi preferred light flavors and quiet, elegant private restaurants. She often traveled for work and was familiar with restaurants in A City. This time she chose a vegetarian restaurant.

Lin Zhi ate in silence, so Lin Yujing also ate quietly. Once her stomach was full, she looked up hesitantly at Lin Zhi, “I looked it up before. Your condition isn’t that serious. You don’t necessarily need to… have everything removed.”

Lin Zhi paused, looking somewhat surprised, “Work has been busy, and I’ve delayed treatment for a while.”

She lowered her head, finishing the last bite of tofu fish, “Besides, conservative treatment has a high recurrence rate. It’s troublesome, so it’s better to remove it.”

Lin Yujing was at a loss for words, unsure of what to say.

Lin Zhi’s detached tone when discussing her condition made her seem cold, even towards herself.

“Oh, I see,” Lin Yujing said dryly.

“You don’t need to worry about this. I mainly wanted to talk to you about your issues,” Lin Zhi said, putting down her chopsticks and looking up, “I’ve looked into it these past two days. That boy, his name is Shen Juan, right?”

Lin Yujing pursed her lips.

Regardless of what Lin Zhi intended to say, Lin Yujing had already prepared her responses. She had spent the last two days thinking of twelve hundred different ways to handle this conversation.

Lin Zhi looked at her for a long time, then suddenly said, “Many people have said you resemble me, both in character and appearance. I never thought so. I always felt you were exactly like Meng Weiguo.”

Lin Yujing was stunned, momentarily unable to react.

Lin Zhi continued, “The first time I saw him was during freshman registration. I still remember that day, what he wore, and the first words he said to me.”

This was the first time Lin Zhi had ever spoken to Lin Yujing about Meng Weiguo. Previously, they rarely conversed, and Lin Zhi never talked about things she deemed “unnecessary.”

Lin Yujing found it almost unbelievable.

“I thought he was my destined one. I believed we could be together forever, but you see how that turned out,” Lin Zhi said calmly, looking at her, “Xiaoyu, many times, things don’t develop as we expect. You’re only sixteen. No matter how deeply you feel now, you two won’t have a future.”

Chapter 60

Lin Zhi’s argument was quite off the mark and very uncharacteristic of her usual strong style.

She had started to adopt a gentler approach, catching Lin Yujing by surprise.

Lin Yujing wasn’t particularly interested in hearing Lin Zhi talk about her and Meng Weiguo’s romantic history, about what clothes she wore and what words she said when they first met. No matter how beautiful those memories might have sounded, they were all in ruins now.

Recounting those memories now made them seem like ridiculous jokes.

The moment this thought crossed her mind, Lin Yujing felt an inexplicable panic.

“You are you, and I am me,” Lin Yujing said. “Just because your romantic experiences were unpleasant, what does that prove? Can such things be inherited?”

“This has nothing to do with my own romantic experiences. At your age, what you think is love rarely ends well. My example is just to tell you that when it’s time to cut ties, you should, otherwise, it will all fall apart in the end.”

Lin Yujing said nothing, silently looking at her, her eyes full of defiance.

“You two have no future together, do you understand what I mean?” Lin Zhi said. “Your current persistence and effort are a complete waste of time; there is no result.”

Lin Yujing replied, “You can never know the outcome before you decide to do something. Isn’t there risk in business? Stocks can also fall.”

“Of course, I would minimize the risks,” Lin Zhi interrupted, frowning. “If I knew a stock was going to fall to its lowest point from the beginning, why would I buy it?”

Without thinking, Lin Yujing retorted, “How can you be sure it will fall? If your judgment is really that good, how did you end up picking Meng Weiguo, that junk stock?”

“Lin Yujing!” Lin Zhi snapped.

Lin Yujing pursed her lips and lowered her head, “Sorry.”

Lin Zhi took a deep breath and quickly calmed down. “Okay, let me put it another way,” her voice returned to its usual calm. “If you were a sophomore in college, not a

sophomore in high school, if you were eighteen or nineteen, not sixteen, I wouldn’t care. But now is not the time for you to be in a relationship, you should understand this yourself. You are not an immature child; you should know what to do at what time.”

“Mom, you think I’m mature just because I haven’t had the chance to be immature,” Lin Yujing said softly. “Now that I’ve met someone who makes me want to be immature, can’t I be willful just this once?”

“What is the right time for what thing? Do you think now is the time for you to be willful? Do you think your current behavior is correct? Why do schools and parents forbid early romance? Because there are many precedents! Because the negative impact of this is far greater than the positive!”

Lin Zhi’s patience was worn out by Lin Yujing’s stubbornness. Her voice rose uncontrollably, “How old are you to think you’ve already met the one? Lin Yujing, I will not allow this.”

“How many boys at your age are serious? You should explain this to the boy right away, or I will do it for you.”

Lin Yujing knew that Lin Zhi was right.

Honestly, Lin Yujing didn’t even need Lin Zhi to tell her; she couldn’t imagine a future with Shen Juan.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about it; she just couldn’t.

Lin Yujing couldn’t imagine a future with anyone; she didn’t believe there would be someone who could stay with her forever.

But Shen Juan made her want to see a future with him for the first time.

She wanted to see it.

She wanted to know what the “future with you” that he spoke of looked like.

Shen Juan gave her anxiety and anticipation, gave her fantasies and courage, making her want to be braver. Since she had already taken a step, there was no reason to retreat.

Lin Yujing didn’t want to retreat again and again; it didn’t match her character. She should be straightforward, once she decided, she should go for it, moving forward without looking back.

“I won’t,” Lin Yujing said.

Lin Zhi angrily pushed the cup in front of her.

She had always been strong-willed and accustomed to others’ obedience. Lin Yujing had never defied her, and she had never seen anyone else do so.

Such direct confrontation and defiance were a first.

Under Lin Zhi’s intense gaze, Lin Yujing began to feel nervous.

Lin Zhi was different from Meng Weiguo.

She could completely ignore Meng Weiguo, saying whatever she wanted when angry. But she couldn’t do the same with Lin Zhi.

It was like a habit or shadow formed from childhood.

When she was little, Lin Zhi would sometimes make her feel utterly unloved and then suddenly do something to make her feel otherwise.

She might ignore her for a whole week, speaking less than three sentences to her, but then sneak a peek at her through the door at night, thinking she was asleep.

She would scold her harshly for not getting a perfect score on a test but then tell the nanny she was hungry and needed a midnight snack when she stayed up all night doing homework.

These distant memories were buried under layers of indifference, making Lin Yujing feel that perhaps her younger self was just so starved for love that she imagined these things.

The restaurant was quiet, with soft music playing in the background. Lin Zhi’s gaze was cold as she looked at her, her voice low, “I’ll say this one last time, you must break up with him, or you will be the one hurt in the end.”

Lin Yujing repeated, “I won’t.”

Lin Zhi was completely infuriated, but her upbringing prevented her from losing her temper in public.

She leaned back in her chair, trying to control her breathing, “It’s not up to you. You’re still a minor; you don’t have a choice.”

Lin Yujing tightly pressed her lips, “You don’t have custody.”

“If I wanted custody, I wouldn’t even need to go to court. The reason I haven’t is that I wanted to respect your wishes,” Lin Zhi said coldly, her face pale. “I originally wanted to talk to you calmly and give you some time, but it seems there’s nothing more to discuss. I will arrange for your transfer soon.”

She was telling the truth.

If she went directly to Meng Weiguo for custody, he probably wouldn’t even fight her, but Lin Zhi chose to ask for her opinion first.

Lin Yujing closed her eyes, “I won’t transfer, I won’t leave, I’m staying right here.”

Lin Zhi acted as if she hadn’t heard, “I won’t have the surgery for now. I’ll cancel my ticket tonight and meet with your head teacher tomorrow—”

Before she could finish, Lin Yujing suddenly stood up, the chair scraping the floor with a sharp, grating sound, her voice almost out of control, “I said I won’t leave.”

She stood at the table, head lowered, and said softly, “What gives you the right to control me?”

Lin Zhi: “What?”

“Honestly, I don’t know what makes you think you can control me,” Lin Yujing steadied her breathing and looked up, “What makes you think you can come and go as you please, change your mind on a whim, make decisions for me, tell me what I can and cannot do? Why do I have to listen to you? Why do you always live so selfishly?”

Her eyes turned red, but her voice remained calm: “You were the one who abandoned me, who gave up on me. I don’t understand, what right or qualification do you have now to decide my life?”

Lin Zhi was stunned.

Lin Yujing grabbed her coat from the back of the chair and turned to leave.

This restaurant was one Lin Zhi had brought her to; Lin Yujing had never been here before, so she didn’t know her way around. She walked quickly along the sidewalk, feeling increasingly anxious.

She knew that Lin Zhi was the type to follow through on her words. Lin Zhi had always been that way—once she decided on something, she had to see it through.

Panic, fear, sadness, and anger all mixed together, making it hard for Lin Yujing to control her emotions.

Her fingers couldn’t stop trembling.

When she suddenly snapped back to reality, she realized her teeth had been chattering the entire time, perhaps because it was nearing early winter and the night was too cold.

Lin Yujing walked several blocks before daring to stop.

She stood on the street corner in a daze for a couple of minutes, beginning to think about what to do next.

Lin Zhi would contact Liu Fujiang, Meng Weiguo, and possibly even Shen Juan.

She didn’t know what to do.

Suppressing the urge to cry, she flagged down a taxi and went home.

The taxi driver glanced at her in the rearview mirror and spoke a string of dialect words. From his tone and the occasional familiar sound, it seemed he was trying to comfort her.

Lin Yujing thanked him.

The restaurant was far away, and traffic was heavy at this hour. By the time she got out of the taxi, an hour had passed. Lin Yujing hesitated, not daring to go back for her luggage, and headed straight to Shen Juan’s studio.

In the dim night, she jogged into the dark, narrow alley, running all the way to the black iron gate, into the courtyard, and up to the small door, which she pushed open urgently.

Shen Juan was sitting on the carpet, leaning against the sofa armrest, holding a drawing board. When he heard the noise, he looked up.

Lin Yujing stood there, panting heavily, having run too fast and unable to catch her breath.

Shen Juan looked at her, surprised, and raised an eyebrow, “Hmm?”

The room was warm, with soft, warm light and a familiar scent—Shen Juan’s scent— enveloping her.

When she had come over, she hadn’t thought much, just felt uneasy and wanted to see him.

Now that she saw him right in front of her, the tears she had just managed to hold back began to well up again. She had never known her tear ducts could be so active.

Shen Juan looked at her without saying anything. Lin Yujing could almost feel him wanting to ask, “What’s wrong?” but he didn’t.

His inadvertent, subtle sensitivity and gentleness might even be unnoticed by him. Such a good Shen Juan.

Gentle, delicate, proud, and flamboyant.

The best person in her life so far.

Lin Yujing closed the door and walked over to him. She squatted down beside him, sat with her knees drawn up, and pulled his hand over, holding onto his fingers and bringing his whole arm into her embrace, then burying her head into it.

“Shen Juan,” she said, her voice muffled.

Shen Juan held her back, his thumb gently rubbing the base of her thumb, as if to soothe her, “Hmm.”

Lin Yujing said nothing.

She didn’t know how to start.

Lin Zhi’s words today had indeed affected her. Each word felt like a sharp knife, cutting into the most sensitive, most cared-about, and most insecure parts of her heart, trying to sever the tightly strung thread in her mind.

Lin Yujing had almost been swayed. She had almost given up.

She couldn’t let herself be influenced, couldn’t afford to make any mistakes at this point. It was clear what was most important right now—her grades, her college entrance exams. Everything else should take a backseat.

She needed something to help her hold on. Something, though she didn’t know what it was.

Lin Yujing didn’t lift her head. She stubbornly pressed her forehead against her knees, her head buried deep, shaking slightly, rubbing her nose.

Her voice was hoarse, with a bit of a nasal tone, and she called out to him again, “Shen Juan, say something to me, anything.”

Say something that will keep me believing. Shen Juan didn’t say anything.

After a moment, Lin Yujing felt him release her hand, his arm slipping out of her embrace.

Her arms felt empty.

She panicked for a moment, but before she could react, Shen Juan’s fingers lifted her chin, raising her deeply buried head.

She heard him sigh, placing the drawing board aside, leaning in closer, and softly, his cool lips touched her eyes.

She instinctively closed her eyes.

Shen Juan gently kissed her thin eyelids and her wet corners, his voice low and sigh-like, “Don’t cry, darling.”